@Faugxh I just started searching for a therapist actually. I feel like I should be selective in who I pick, but maybe I’m overthinking it. I usually overthink things haha. How did you go about finding yours?
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All the new (and old forgotten songs) are helping me get through kind of a lonely, boring stretch for me. Thank you for starting the thread. It makes me want to learn how to play an instrument. 
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Hey Caroline, you put a smile on my face and have given me a whole bunch of much needed hope, strength and motivation too 
I’m here for you anytime, just know that! I know how difficult it can feel to open up the past and yourself… 
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Yes do! Instruments are actually a really nice skill to have to pass time and immerse yourself in… I can play some violin and have gotten a guitar to slowly learn a bit. Any particular one speak to you the most?
And referring to your therapist question, don’t be affraid to change therapist/psychologist if you feel you don’t seem to click or something… Otherwise I’m open to giving anyone a chance first. I had my induction the day before yesterday, meaning somebody now nows much more about myself than 23 years of family and friends ever did… My first psychologist session is in 1-2 months though and they apparently try to couple the best pick for me (Headspace in Australia). Will just have to wait and see… 
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I know you asked her and I hope you won’t mind me offering my experience too (I don’t mean to butt in; I just thought “oooh I know something here!” 
).
I have been to many different therapists over the last five years as I’ve been unpacking my past and beginning my journey in health and personal well-being. In that time I’ve had some whom I connected with quite naturally, and others with whom I felt less of an “in-tune” kind of connection.
However - even with ones whom I didn’t feel quite as synced up, I found, if they were observant and asked questions that helped me see things in new ways, that the experience was valuable.
All that is to say that I’d say, don’t worry too much about picking the “right” one right out of the gate. Feel free to “shop around” a bit and see who you find most helpful.
Also remember that you have a lot to contribute in terms of your expectations. Therapists are there to help you ask questions and look at things in new ways, but they can’t read your mind (no one can - often we don’t know what’s happening in our own minds!). Trust your gut and don’t be afraid to make observations or ask questions. Be bold - you will benefit from it
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Thank you, that’s so kind of you to say I’m here if you need anything as well. It is hard to open up things that I’ve tried so hard to hide and push down. Everyone who opens up and is brave enough to share pieces of their story are so beautiful and really do show me how shame and hiding my story has caused even more pain.
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Oh Violin is so beautiful. I really want to learn acoustic guitar. I’ve always loved indie/ folk music, I even sang when I was little. So maybe I can look into buying a used guitar and trying lessons.
Also I’ve been thinking about journaling and writing prompts and just seeing what comes out. There’s lots that I want to try. I was always very creative when I was younger and I feel like I lost interest in it for no reason. Any form of self expression I really stopped entirely. Which I see now- of course- is no bueno.
For therapy there’s this online platform called Better Help, that matches you with someone and you can talk or video chat. Whatever works. And you can change your therapist if it doesn’t feel right. But I’m not sure it’s as effective as someone in person and sitting in an office. I really don’t know how to best navigate it all, but maybe online is a good first step I think 
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Hi Matt! Thank you for chipping in here. Anyone who says “be bold” as advice always makes me smile. I think as someone who suffered from abuse I spent so much of my life trying to make myself smaller, so 
thank you for throwing that in there.
Also I think you are definitely right that you get out of things only as much as you put in. I also think being in tune with someone is really important to me when opening up. I tend to overthink and analyze everything so I’ll have to try my best not too.
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Hi Callie, fellow overthinker here. 
All you need to know regarding a therapist is: you’re not stuck with the first one who offers you a place. Go see as many different ones as you can and go with the person you can see yourself build the most trust with. That you could imagine yourself saying whatever to. Embarrassing things, painful things, shameful things. It really is a wonderful journey, very hard but so worth it. Good luck. 
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100%, I would definately recommend in-person sessions (if possible), they are quite liberating in their own way it’s hard to explain… 
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I can definitely see how in person would be much more impactful
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Hey I was just thinking of what impact my eating disorder had on me once, and you mentioned that you still suffer from an eating disorder to some extent, and I just wanted to give you a heads up that you’re not alone there either, and promise from experience you’ll overcome it… I had an eating disorder for many years which had a huge impact on my everyday life at the time - almost unimaginable… My two older sisters also had bulimia for years, and they mentioned some tips like writing notes to or looking in the mirror and repeating to yourself that you love yourself, that you are PERFECT the way you are and worthy of better! What helped me (since my eating disorder was a little different) was them showing me I could in fact eat as much as I liked, without fear of punishment or judgement back home… And gradually, just like that, that fear subsided and I was able to grow out of it. I don’t know how, but we all seem to have worked through it at the end of the day, and it’s not a worry of mine anymore. The closest I get is a dry mouth and lack of appetite in particularly anxious situations, but I can safely say it just takes you accepting yourself most of all… If my sisters and I could, you can too 
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My brother was also physically and mentally abusive to me and my siblings and he has also been diagnosed with schizophrenia. Best thing my siblings and I did was to keep him at a distance. You have to protect yourself first. He may have a mental illness but only he can help himself. Not you or your mum or anyone else. He has to take his medication and choose to help himself. My mum and dad eventually had to stop enabling his self sabotaging behaviour by looking after him, letting him live with them and giving him money. Now that he knows he can’t get anything from us he leaves us alone.
You’re not alone and I’m here to talk If you need it.
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That’s really comforting that you and your sisters were able to overcome your ED’s. I have definitely heard that affirmations help a lot.
Another thing I read or heard was that your body deserves to be fueled. It seems like such a basic principle that I think I’ve forgotten ( or maybe never really learned) That I expect it to swim laps and do yoga and work 10 hour days but at the same time demonize the food it needs to just preform.
Mine is not as bad when I was younger. I was hospitalized at 16 ( saw a therapist for that) but she didn’t really help much. I think restriction was just another way I dealt or maybe numbed from my brother and the abuse before I found alcohol. I find my ED ebb’s and flows. Sometimes when I’m stressed or anxious I fixate on it and obsess. Then at times I don’t give it a second thought. I’ve been trying to do a lot of reading on nutrition and recovery from restrictive eating. I landed on intuitive eating and I can relate more to that then only saying certain foods are good to you, but listening to your body.
It’s surprising me what stopping drinking has done for me as a whole. When I was drinking and restricting food- Id make room for alcohol and not food. Really eff’ed up when looking back.
Thank you for your note, as always they help me think and work through things in my head. You are amazing, hugs 
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Hi @Things_are_lookingup, I am so sorry you have been through similar things with your brother. It is terrifying when someone who is supposed to love and protect you abuses you. I distanced from him as soon as I was able- when I went to college. I do see him at holidays and such because my mom still takes care of him. She is his support system and I am hers. I think that is the hardest part for me because I hear of all the psychologically terrible things he does and factor in my abuse when I was little and my mom nurtures him, like she never did me. Then I have to nurture her. It makes me angry - then I feel horribly selfish and guilty for thinking that way, because he does have a disease. I find myself on the same balance beam as I was as I child. Wanting so desperately to forgive him and make my moms life easier ( she was a single mom to both of us) and this searing rage that my abuse from my brother left me with along with the lack of empathy and acknowledgment my mom has given me- yet gives him for his mental illness. It makes me feel alone and hurt beyond words, like my life and value is some how less.
Sorry that was a lot to unpack. I am also here if you ever need to talk. Sending love
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