So it’s been a while since I’ve been on here. And I started to get pretty bad back into my drug addiction. Laying here tonight then feeling of guilt is overwhelming and I know that this is it. Now or never. I need to stop. I have so much to live for. I’m almost done school, I left my toxic relationship and started seeing an incredibly caring loving guy.
I feel so upset and angry with myself. I just want to scream. I know I can do it. I just get bored sometimes and for some reason my quick fix is drugs. Ugggghhhhhh I just wish I was never given a personality like this. Why do I get addicted. And when I’m doing so good…why do I go back ???
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Dont beat yourself up. You can do this. Trust your gut and know that you are capable and worthy. You will get through and it will be so worth it.
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Welcome back Morgan.
I understand the guilt and shame in using and relapsing. Sometimes it can really knock us down.
Maybe next time you’re so upset and angry with yourself try coming on here and check out the daily gratitude thread. Daily Gratitude List #2
I know I got so much more to be grateful for when I’m sober. A lot of us do our gratitude list right on here. Some people just like to read everyone’s list.
Lots of great people on here to help give us all support. Hang out for awhile. Lots of great threads.
I get it… (shakes fist in the air)
Remember the feeling you have right now. Only you have the power to change. You are going to have to find some sort of distraction or healthy replacement for your addiction. I hope this loving and caring person is sober… if not then I can’t see anything good coming out of it. Placing yourself with people who are sober is so important!
As many say here- nothing changes unless something changes.
Usually it’s something huge.
Take care
Welcome back. For me, in the beginning being here helped. The more active I was, the easier it was to stay sober. Eventually, I could see the writing on the wall that I needed more support and found a recovery progam.
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