Welcome back Morgan.
I understand the guilt and shame in using and relapsing. Sometimes it can really knock us down.
Maybe next time you’re so upset and angry with yourself try coming on here and check out the daily gratitude thread. Daily Gratitude List #2
I know I got so much more to be grateful for when I’m sober. A lot of us do our gratitude list right on here. Some people just like to read everyone’s list.
Lots of great people on here to help give us all support. Hang out for awhile. Lots of great threads.