Being sober is not amazing


#21

Omg hahahaha m dying inside now :fearful::fearful:
Sorry lol.


#22

Its ok lol. It was a good analogy. Can be applied to many things, not just sobriety.


#23

All of the times I quit before, I never experienced true happiness. I always wanted a drink after a few days. This time, almost to day 9, I feel so good and happy. I truly in this moment don’t want a drink. I think it’s a shift in how I am thinking about it. And the last time I drank I consciously recorded myself throughout the night. I sounded so damn stupid, it robbed me of all of my intelligence. I finally understood why my husband didn’t even want to acknowledge me when drunk. I was so embarrassed and thought about the hundreds of times I must have sounded so dumb. You need to be ready to do it for yourself. Best of luck, we’re all in this together!


#24

Congrats on making a brave choice my friend. Growing is not easy and takes effort and courage. My advice is get support. Join groups, try going to AA, even if its just to listen, kill time and not drink. For me, having a regular exercise class really helps, a ton. Structure and activity and understanding/helpful people really will make a difference. You will begin to feel better/lighter. Good luck.


#25

Remember that it’s day 9 of not drinking.

Think about how long you were drinking.

Before you come to a verdict I think you should give not drinking time a bigger fraction of your drinking time :slight_smile:.

My day 9 wasn’t all that great.

By the time I got to day 109 I had worked out that there was nothing i needed alcohol for. Not to be happy, not to go watch a game or eat a meal or cope with stress or a bad day. I didn’t NEED it. And alcohol is an addictive poison. So why use an addictive poison I don’t need?

I hope you can find your way to this understanding. I promise you will find your life is better and your soul more at ease if you do.


#26

I think the sober high positivity is great when your also feeling great. But it’s not as helpful when your struggling, so what makes you happy and positive? If it’s kitten pictures…look at them…yoga pics…do it! Make your support system fool proof by customizing it to your needs. Personally I love yoga and found that most people who do yoga don’t drink, not because their alcoholics but they don’t value adding toxins to their body when they put so much time into removing them through their practice. Surrounding myself with these people has made me more content with sobriety. Let’s face it if we aren’t going to be all giddy happy at not drinking but let’s aim for contentment!


#27

So I’d recommend therapy:
If you can’t afford it many therapists do a sliding scale thing, or can recommend good cheap or free programs.
Day 9? I’m in awe of your strength. I’m day 2 well… 47.55 hours. It’s been so long and I can’t imagine every day being this long. 9?! You’re strong enough for 9 days?
That’s amazing and keep on doing it.


#28

Yep. I’m there with thinking that taking 30 or so days without drinking made me think I was in control. Giving up drinking was easy. I did it hundreds of times…

I once got to 36. My record!

Then I made an effort to really stop. And my record went from 36 to 208. But it’s a journey and I have had a couple of lapses. The way I look at It? Since I genuinely properly started to get my life in order I have had 355 days. On 6 days I have had alcohol. So not perfect. But the difference really is that I want to stop. If there is the occasional blip, I am not going to let it put me off. And I don’t think I will EVER be able to say “I have it under control now”.

If people ask about my not drinking , I explain that I’ve probably already had my lifetime’s share of alcohol. And if there is reincarnation I’ve probably had my next three lives’ share as well.


#29

So I was a high functioning alcoholic. I could drink to my drunken hearts content and still work and get good grades. Fighting a hangover wasn’t a problem because I have a lot of energy and I drank a TON of coffee! I’m 12 days sober now and the emotional rollercoaster keeps on going. I’m happy, I’m crying, I’m up, I’m down. I have depression so drinking really didn’t help my moods. But what I’m realizing is that I need to get a lot of stuff out of my head, my body and try to fix myself. It sucks. I’m not happy at the moment BUT I’m not drinking! I’m not letting down the one I love. I’m not breaking the promise I made to myself to get better and quit. I’m going to have some rough days but they will pass. I’ll get through this! We all can!


#30

Love this reply. You need to figure out who you are without alcohol. Best advice! :grin:


#31

Living life Just For Today, relieves the burdens of the past and the fears of the future. :innocent::blue_heart:


#32

Who cares what anyone else thinks. If you do things just to appease how others feel youll never be truely happy. Do what makes you happy. And if your miserable sober get some hobbies. Only people with a problem would cry because they arent drinking. Plus at 9 days your brain is still all whacked out and confused whats going on. It gets better but you have to also make it better. Being sober osnt a cure all without all the other work of tryin to make life better. God bless.


#33

I feel you buddy. I’ve got none of the sober high stuff just a constant throbbing need to drink. I just try to remember that I’m at day 8 for a reason and the reason was good enough to quit drinking over.


#34

Confidence in sobriety comes with time. Last week I was amazing. Hard working and honest. And today I feel ashamed and scared. Ugly even. Ive learned the bottle doesnt help. Gross is another way to describe emotions of today, for me. Im with you girl…and the bottle doesnt help. Much love. Stay strong.


#35

Dude, I’m confused. Sober high? If being sober made me feel high, I would have not been getting fucked up in the first place. Getting sober made me feel like I could finally just breathe and focus on doing some more breathing in the near future. Made me feel like I could be awake without needing to be asleep while awake. I think being sober is what you make it and the quality of your sober time is directly reflected by the effort and quality of your effort, which gets more accurate and focused the longer you practice. The people with the sober high aren’t high because they are sober, they are high because they chose to be happy and work for it with their sober time. Happiness isn’t a byproduct of sobriety, it is a possibility because of sobriety.


#36

Nope…no “sober high” here.

I feel a rush of endorphins on occasion when I’m trail running, or when I’m riding a sketchy trail on my mountain bike. I feel high on life when I get a flood of those same “fight or flight” brain chemicals on a rock climbing wall, or even sometimes after a public speaking engagement.

I would never begin to describe this process of sobriety as a high…it has never felt even remotely pleasant. It has been difficult, it has been at times painful, both physically and emotionally and it has truly been unenjoyable. In fact, the only joy I have received from the process itself, has been the ability to make it through a day without arguing with my wife. Wait, actually there is more. I haven’t been verbally abusive toward my wife…I haven’t wreaked of alcohol when I put my kids to bed…I haven’t made an absolute ass out of myself in front of all my neighbors…I haven’t passed out drunk…I haven’t blacked out and not remembered what an ass I made of myself…I haven’t called in sick and inconvenienced my coworkers who had to pick up my slack…I haven’t woke up with a hangover…I haven’t yelled at my kids…I haven’t regretted my actions the night before.

I HAVE on the other hand…spent more time with my kids…given my children and wife my undivided attention…been pleasant to be around…been more level headed…allowed myself to come to terms with emotional and mental trauma I was burying for years…gone to therapy to address post traumatic stress…forgiven myself for things that were outside my control…seen the world through eyes in a head, unclouded by a drunken or hungover perspective.

I have experienced absolutely no “sober high”, but I am an improved version of myself and able to fully enjoy all of those things that bring me joy in a healthy fulfilling life.

Something else I have been able to experience is being part of this forum…meeting some wonderful, messed up people just like me…who understand the difficulty of this life we seek, and who are more than willing to offer a :poop: ton of advice based on their unique and collective experiences with addiction and sobriety.


#37

It’s still very early in your sobriety, so the happiness of being sober just might not have hit you yet. Finding a hobby like exercising, gaming, painting, writing, biking or even like building wood furniture, essentially anything that will bring joy into your life. If nothing is bringing you happiness, you might want to consider seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist. A lot of substance abuse disorders are comorbid with other mental illnesses. My heroin and benzo abuse was a symptom of my underlying anxiety, depression and PTSD. It wasn’t until I got sober, and I wasn’t self-medicating anymore, that it really became apparent. Maybe try talking to a therapist and really give it a shot, I know mine helped me. Other than that, you really do just have to tough it out to a certain extent. Taking care of your body physically, as far as diet and exercise, is also a big part. A lot of studies have been coming out showing the connection between a healthy diet, a healthy gut (the healthy bacteria that live there) and a persons mood and well being. Maybe try making some of those changes. Especially after an addiction, your body can be very lacking in vital nutrients. I know I was. Peak addiction I weighed 120, when my average healthy weight in somewhere around 140-145. I know everyone is different but a lot of these things helped me, so they are worth giving a shot.


#38

I agree with you in that I read some posts on here and wonder if I’m doing sober all wrong since I don’t find it super fun either. But what I have found it to be, is easier. My life is much easier since I stopped drinking. A lot less drama. And I’m grateful for that. A lot of the beauty of drinking for me was the blurring of reality. Diving into a pool of alcohol rather than think about a hard day seemed easy when I’d start drinking at the end of the work day. But the next morning when I was late for work, vomiting on my carpet, trying to remember the name of the guy in my bed, well things were not easy. They were messy and complicated. I was weighted down with regret.

What three years and four months of quiet, simple sobriety have taught me, is that I really like remembering what I said and did the night before. It’s taken time to be able to slowly and painfully think through my bad days rather than drinking away my troubles until last call.

My life is not as exciting as I once thought it was. But when I think about it, it wasn’t really all that exciting when I was drinking either. It just seemed that way because it was exciting to learn the next morning what I had been up to the night before. But it often wasn’t a good surprise.

I guess what I like the most is that I no longer feel harrowing regret when I wake up in the morning, never mind the hangover.

If sobriety is what you really want, I think you’ll like it. It takes some getting used to. And like most everyone else here says, give yourself some time to adjust to it with no expectations other than making it through each day. It’s harder in the beginning but it does get easier. Be gentle with yourself.


#39

Very well said and all true!!


#40

I talk up being happy at times but I feel bored and empty a lot. I used to get a couple weeks in and think I didn’t really have a problem. Got a great job and friends, who cares?

Alcohol makes us crazy delusional. I did incredibly stupid things drunk. I should have been arrested. I could have died. Or been raped. I can’t really prove I haven’t been.

You would never know either. I’m pretty normal, just went out to bars to “socialize” on weekends.

Truthfully being alone on Friday night hurt. I had this fantasy I’d go meet new people and catch up with old friends. Nah. Just drank myself silly. It still hurts but I’m facing it head on now.

It’s your choice. You have to love yourself to make this work. If you don’t care about yourself why expect others to.