Being vulnerable

I’ll was going to post this story in youngj65 thread but didn’t want to thread jack it. He was talking about feeling a lack of self worth so it made me think of this encounter today. It’s long but I hope it’s effective???

I often wonder why so many people are afraid to be vulnerable? I know people are afraid to feel embarrassed or a lack of self worth if they share what they truly are going through or who they truly are. But being vulnerable makes you human and let’s others understand who you really are. This encounter sort of illustrates what I’m trying to say.

This morning I walked into my favorite coffee shop alone. Sitting by herself was a friend of over 10 years. I asked to join her and sat with her. I’ve only known her superficially despite our kids being friends. She’s the classic woman most people want to be. She’s sexy, smart, educated, owns a great business etc etc.

She never has seemed the vulnerable type until today. She opened up that her five year relationship had failed days before. It was actually embarrassing for me as she cried, it looked as if I’m had just broken up with here :flushed::flushed::flushed:. Then she proceeds to tell me about herself and her upbringing.

I had always thought her father must have been the President of some country club or that she was some silver spoon raised kid. I was way off!!! In fact her father had drank himself to death before he was 50 so she was raised by her single mom who sounds like an alcoholic who worked at a bar until 2am every night.

She found her light in the black family next door (she is white). That family took her under their wing. She said it was beyond awkward being the adopted white kid. They took her to their black church multiple times a week and that’s where she got her faith in God. They would feed her, take her on vacations and basically raised her as their own all while her mother was at the bar leaving her home all alone.

The father in that family was a military man and she said that’s were she learned structure, discipline and the value of hard work that has made her successful in life. The mother took
Her to sports, church and showed her the love she deserved. She ultimately got a college scholarship in soccer thanks to her adopted mothers devotion to her.

She told me most of this story while shedding tears. She said she is so embarrassed to have alcoholic parents and not be the person people think she is but also grateful for the wonderful family next door, her true family.

The point I’m trying to make via this story is we’re all human. Sometimes our weaknesses are our greatest strengths. Here some woman we all would have thought is beyond pretentious is more human than all of us but because she’s afraid of being vulnerable she is failing to connect emotionally.

Our addictions are just part of who we are, let’s not be embarrassed or have a lack of self worth so we don’t share who we are with people who care about us and truly love us!!!

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I wear my heart on my sleeve. But thats never afforded me anything other than a clean conscience.

People lost in addiction and trauma have walls 10 ft high, and exposing themselves is unquestionable. If you want my story, I’ll tell you, I’d tell a complete stranger, if it afforded them less problems in life. Thats what we do, but its only from a very humble place that I can do that.

When I was lost in addiction and trauma, no one could talk me out of it with stories of recovery and healing, also I wasnt offering up my truth, I wasnt being honest with myself.

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Good one… cant judge a book by its cover because we never know what they have been through unless they tell us…we are all navigating the best we can based on our life experiences…we are lucky to be sober & have some tools like AA…at least we have a chance out there in the jungle…

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A lot of it is based on an individual’s upbringing, I can only speak for myself but I will not show vulnerability easily in real life (it’s easy on here). Growing up my father used to shout at me that I was “bullet proof” (he thought my mother favoured me and thought I didn’t get any of her crap… he was wrong).

I will not be vulnerable to anyone through choice. In fact I’ve only realised in the last couple of years that I never make eye contact with others and that this is not actually normal.

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Thanks for sharing this story. :heart: A good reminder that we are all humans, doing our best, where we are right now. :heart:

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