with guilt that comes with recovery ?
So im 70 odd days sober which is massive for me but am starting to feel guilty about what i put people through when at my worst like mum having to get me arrested after 2 days drinking or sending my x wife into panic attacks with my anger and drunkenness. I understand that the bad must come with the good in recovery but how to people forgive themselves??
Thanks
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Well first, we aren’t going to make believe whatever happened didn’t happen
The best way to start is
Become willing to make amends to people we have harmed
Once that step is there YOU /I CAN ADMIT I’M POWERLESS over the addiction
Then we begin to heal
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The 12 Steps and AA helped me deal with all of the emotional sobriety aspects you are discussing. It’s hard, I understand, but you aren’t alone. Also recovery Dharma and/or therapy in conjunction with a recovery program really has helped me. I feel free not caring around guilt/shame.
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@Acehope I received a lot of support from Faith. Always I had received unconditional love from Jesus and He knows very well all the wrong things I have done. He also sent me good people who knowing most of the things treat me with Mercy. Others rejected me but I accepted as a consequence.
It’s true that sometimes the past hauts my memory but I start to pray and to ask for help
To put it very plainly, they stay sober. The more sober days you collect, the more work you do on yourself, accepting your problem and seeing very clearly where it led you, even if it’s uncomfortable. It’s crucial to see it all because most likely it’s a place you never want to return, which is a vital tool to have when cravings and triggers hit. Eventually you will have to talk to people you hurt, but amends and sorry means very little if you don’t already have a plan (or several) in place for staying sober. You start to forgive yourself when you find yourself doing better, making better choices, showing up for people you love, looking better, feeling better, and cultivating a better, sober self. The past will still have a sting, but you will be able to look back with some satisfaction that it isn’t something you need to repeat. The shame and the guilt remain as reminders of where you pledge to never be again. So, step 1 to forgiveness is a plan that keeps you sober one day at a time.
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