That’s kinda a big answer but let me break down just part of it. Let’s say that they don’t get the scientific proof that the answer is “XYZ” then they are not as willing to trust the process. And we all know that there is no 1 solution for everyone. It is a journey that you have to work at and have faith it will work. There’s no guarantee that it will last forever. And if your analytical mind doesn’t account for maybe then it’s harder to get there. Does that make sense? It’s not a bad thing it’s really more of a way a person sees things. You could say perfectionists will have a hard time too. Because there’s no room for errors in their world.
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And I’m not saying it’s on you. Im just saying it’s hard for them to get you to accept it fully. And yes I am seeing a perfectionist and professional and very educated all are what makes you you. But it also makes you very hard on yourself. You can do this! We are here for you too
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I definitely struggle with that. Everything should break down with solution based thinking with an “it is” or “it is not” conclusion. I am aware of my black and white personality…and I try to find acceptance in playing in the gray area no matter how scary that seems. Like you said I have to have faith
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This is an area I fought to! Me and acceptance went round and round! But I read this quote 100’s times a day for a few months. I know you have read it but maybe someone will see it for the first time. AA big book pg 417.
Acceptance
"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation – some fact of my life – unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.
“Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God’s world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.”
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I will co-sign on that 100% !!! I think I have alot of work to do on feeling that I don’t deserve sobriety or happiness. I have had both and they are amazing…so where I have come to the point of feeling that way is where so serious work will have to begin, and I must have to peel back some layers for that to begin and that also is something I can’t do alone. I’m sure I could manipulate myself out of getting anywhere with it
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I just looked into clean and sober living.,not oxford but similar. That wouldn’t be a bad plan for me at all I mean I’m living with my ex wife and kids that is simply because she thought it was pathetic me living in my car and it was cold outside but we get along after being divorced for 6 years so that part would be easy little tougher with the kids but the place I’m looking at the only about 10 miles away so it’s realistic and it holds me accountable. I’m a little nervous about it but with where I’m standing right now I’ve got nothing to lose by trying it.
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So I’m just checking in because I really appreciate the feedback i have gotten from you all. Tonight was rough. Even in a meeting all I could think about was getting hooked up afterward. I decided to do something different so I went out to Dennys for additional fellowship. I am sitting here now with everyone and the feeling has passed. 3 more hours and I can chalk up another day as a victory.
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Since this topic has already been used, I’ll resurrect it instead of making a duplicate.
As my mother-in-law is in month three of six, my patience is wearing thin. She doesn’t speak English and I don’t speak Bosnian so we usually get along great. The past few weeks she’s watching some reality show on her tablet and I’m about to lose my mind. It’s at high volume and she acts oblivious to it. We turn up the TV, she turns it up. At times like this I just want to go for a walk, but with the temperature reaching over 100°f again it’ll burn my dogs feet. At least I’m clean. Last time she was there I got pretty upset and use Google translate to tell her to turn that crap down. I said the people in the cemetery are complaining you’re interrupting their eternal sleep. You can guess how that turned out… yup just like a fart in church.
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I have gone thru this with the kids, I bought them headphones! lol. Not sure if it’ll work the same but I either watched what I wanted on my phone with headphones or they did. Often though I found something else to do that I enjoyed instead but it sounds like that may be hard in the heat. Serenity prayer is good, I did that a lot too. Ohhhhhhh so many times! Wish you luck and patience!
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