Day 1608 : No binge today. 
@BookDragon Thank you! Recovery takes time, but I believe in you, you got this! Reaching out here is the first step and I am proud of you for that. 
And Iām glad youāre feeling better too.
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Another day without a binge.
I again ate sweets, but I was ok with it as I have over 200km bike ride today.
What is good that I didnāt binge on it and even though I had prepared a whole chocolate bar for myself I didnāt touch it, I ate just some cookies I bought too.
Basically I had my dinner (proper portion of carbs (rice) with some veg for fibre and chicken for protein and then I had some biscuits. After that I felt full and so I decided to call my mum who wanted to talk to me. We ended up talking for hours and when I finished the call I felt tired and ready to bed. Ed was reminding me the chocolate but it felt so unnecessary to eat it. I also didnāt really fancy it and so I decided to ignore the voice which was trying to persuade me that I want it and went to bed instead. It was a great decision and after probably hundred years I felt hungry in the morning. I forgot how nice that feels!
I am very happy about yesterday and today morning hunger is very motivating for me to keep doing things āthe rightā way (for me).
Happy Saturday 
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535 sugar
399 UPF
273 gluten/dairy
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Awesome work! And thank you for sharing your success! I bet it reinforces the good feelings to write it out and share
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Iām not even sure what to call my issue, but yesterday it felt like a binge. Driving home after a long day at work and didnāt feel like eating my boring leftovers, so I stopped into this market that I always forget about but is really good, and I got a cup of pistachio gelato, some fresh pita and hummus and toum. I ate most of the gelato sitting in the car, and then some pita etc. while driving! Who does that? I bet I would lose 20 lbs if I just stopped eating while driving.
Anyways I did one good thing which is I told my partner what I bought (I left out the gelato) and he was very supportive of me reaching out to him when I have these impulses. I told him I am really embarrassed and thatās why I keep it from him.
I keep trying different tactics like not eating snacks, mindful eating, hunger scale, journaling, and I keep reverting to my old ways after maybe a week. Nothing seems to stick. I know I need to just keep practicing to make habits. I feel like I know so much but I canāt implement it.
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Thank you! I relapsed into binge-eating after three days. Yesterday, I was inching close to another relapse, but I was able to somewhat stop myself. This is significantly harder than quitting vaping for some reason 
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Sorry to hear you are struggling despite having tools available.
After a long stretch in the binge-shame-loop I realised for myself, that I cannot handle certain substances, in my case mostly sugar and then UPFs. And this has nothing to do with will power, or not using my tools or whatnot.
Even if I was able to manage my behaviour around one piece of cake or one burger, I would always feel unsatisfied. And not only after eating that specific food. I would be hit by unspecific food cravings at the weirdest of times. I never felt at peace around food and felt like my brain was most of the time filled with food noise if I was not occupied by something far more interesting. I would act in all kinds of ways that made me question my sanity. I felt really out of control in those moments. I would go for short stretches managing my bingeing, but as soon as my will power was depleted, I would go for another round.
The only way I found actual peace was getting rid of those substances. I remember eating some gluten-free store bought bread after I had been abstinent from UPFs for a while. I was not thinking clearly about the bread being ultra processed. I ate one bun for breakfast and another one at lunch time. The whole day and a few days after I was once again obsessed with food related thoughts. No matter what I ate that day I would never feel satisfied. It was like an awful itch. I did not eat any of that bread again, and after a few days I got my peace back.
I realised that these substances - sugar, UPFs, dairy, gluten - will screw my whole hunger, satiety, food peace signals, not matter what and how else I eat, no matter what other tools I utilised.
I am just sharing this from my own experience as I totally know how it feels to eat all the food in the car, train, in the parking lot of the grocery store or whatnot in one serving and feeling like one has lost control about oneās own behaviour.
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Day 0, starting fresh. Got close enough to a full-on binge last night so Iām considering it a relapse.
The hardest part is around 6pm to when I sleep. Itās like my mind goes into snack mode and itās so hard to stop. I may start exercising late at night when the cravings hit.
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Day 1609 : No binge today.
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I have the same issue like you. I can go through the whole day no problem - itās the evening when I always struggle. Partially because I made it habit. I also thought Iād try to replace it with exercise but I never feel like exercising and I bet that if I did it would make a great excuse for binge afterwards 
Let me know if it worked for you, fingers crossed 
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Such a great explanation, @acromouse
And I appreciate it that you canāt stress it enough in this thread how weāre influenced by sugar and UPF. What it does to our brain.
I can see why you quit these substances for good and your counter shows that it was the right thing to do for you. I genuinely believe it would help to most of us to do the same if we were willing to learn how to replace the poison with suitable nutritions. With me it comes down to laziness (as sad as it is) to do my research, but I do keep it on a top of my mind and I do eat less UPF than I used to since I read things about it from you. So, please, donāt give up reminding us! Youāre having a good influence on some of us
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Yesterday, I had to eat lots of UPF in bread form as I was doing cycle from London to Brighton and back and I needed energy. Opting in for sandwiches or cakes at coffee stops is the easiest and although I felt constantly full thereās no way I ate enough. But it did the job for the ride and got me through it achieving PBs on the way
Rides like this give me some kind of adrenaline and therefore no matter how much rest I need - I canāt sleep 
So here I am, working on my binging
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536 sugar
400 UPF
274 gluten/dairy
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OK, I need some people to tell me what I already know. I was curious what I weighed, as I havenāt weighed myself for months, so did. I thought that I would be higher than I was, as I have been weight training consistently, and have upped my weight amount twice, and so surely have more muscle than I did before, and therefore heavier. I was shocked that I was a whole 5kg heavier though. Just seeing the number made me want to cry. And then I felt so stupid for being so bothered, because my clothes fit, muscles are more clearly defined, face is normal size (and that area always gets bigger first), I know I havenāt put on significant fat, it is just weight. And instantly thoughts jump to maybe I could start restricting ājust a bitā to get under a certain number again. Silly how unimportant those non-scale improvements are once I see a number.
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Here is your helpful service desk 
The number on the scale does not have anything useful to say at this moment. It does not say anything about your physical or mental health, it does not say anything about your body composition.
Most importantly: It does not say anything about how lovable you are, if you are a decent human being, if people cherish having you in their lives.
Itās an instrument for categorizing stuff. It can be useful for accessing how much of a medication you might need and other stuff like that. It is a tool designed to help you.
The meter might help you find the right length of fabric for your new pants, but it does not tell you if you will feel fabulous in them.
Forget that thing, make a commitment not to step on it and get free of it.
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Congratulations! For all the benefits youāve gotten from your workouts! Yay! It sounds like you replaced a lot of fat with muscle! Muscle is denser than fat! If you try to cut back, youāll end up losing muscle firstā¦
I think youāre doing great. If your clothes start feeling uncomfortable then maybe thatās the time to reevaluate where your comfort level is with that.
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You said it all yourself, @Misokatsu
The fear from the fact that you gained weight is coming from your old structures of thinking. Your brain is trained to panick when the scale shows you a bigger number. But you also have intelligence and common sense which is telling you that this time itās a result of your weight training. You should be celebrating the success of getting your body stronger, not freaking out 
Especially for us women is important to have muscles to prevent some health issues at later age. So congratulations 
and keep going.
I personally donāt own a weight scale. We used to have one when I lived with my mum and I was obsessed with my weight. Then I moved out to the UK and non of the places I lived had a weight scale. I found out that it freedomed my mind from that unhelpful obsession and therefore Iāve never bought one and donāt even want it ever in my house. I understand that some people have it for reasons listed by @acromouse but itās not for me, thank you 
For me itās important how I feel and that tells me best about where I am with my body. I also stopped checking my naked body in the mirror so often because I believe that I have body dismorfia (or how they call it when you see a certain reflection of yourself which has however nothing to do with the reality).
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I studied in London in college. Lived at Cromwell and Collingham Rd. I miss it, other than the food, the weather, and the cost. Actually, the food is so much better there now than it was in 1998. Anyways, Iām envious. Hope to go back one of these years. Lucky you!
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Ah Cornwell is my the most favourite place in the UK! Iāve been St. Ives and Penzance a few times 
London is pretty too, the centre is just stunning and where I live is lots of nature so I love doing my sport activities around here (running and cycling to countryside).
You should definitely come back for holiday at least
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Yes exactly, nighttime is rough! I will say, on the days I go to the BJJ gym at night, Iām actually not too hungryā¦ but Iām there for 2-3 hours. Itās rest day that I struggle with the most 
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