Day 1666 : No binge today. 
@CATMANCAM Iām so so sorry for your loss of your sweet cat Prince. 
Itās okay to cry and feel all the emotions. Itās part of the grieving process. Sending supportive hugs your way. 
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Day 7: success 
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593 sugar
457 UPF
331 gluten/dairy
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Hello @CATMANCAM 
So great to see you here and even better to see youāre doing well (at least as much as circumstances allow, or maybe even despite of them).. 
Firstly, my condolences, Iām so sorry to read about dear Prince 
It had to be so difficult to go through all of that and the result being exactly what you were so hardly trying to avoid 
I can only imagine how much you must be now missing him, itās devastating news and I feel your loss.
Secondly, happy belated birthday, although given the recent events itās hard to be cheerful.. Yet, Iād like to acknowledge the special day and wish you all the best, great health and every day ahead to be fulfilled with joy and happiness as thatās what you truly deserve 
Thank you very much for sharing your own experience with acid reflux. The moment youāre describing is something I can relate to, for me also could get it this bad, when the acid would even escape via my throat to my mouth and once I almost choked on it as it woke me up unexpectedly burning my throat to extend I couldnāt breath. It was quite scary, I wonāt lie. If I was drunk, Iād probably die. So my life without it now is absolutely awesome and I canāt be more grateful.
Iām looking forward seeing you contributing more in the thread, you were missed deeply.
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I really donāt know what to do with myself. Since we had these awful heat waves in the UK, I feel constantly very tired although theyāre now gone. I increased my caffeine intake which probably actually makes it worse and I want to eat all the time just so I have some energy. Working is the worst as I am falling asleep when trying to work in my Excel spreadsheets 
Iād say that I eat quite ok during the day, but I absolutely failed to resist my urges yesterday night and I ate some chocolate right before the bed time. I was thinking it over and over, knowing that itās not what I want when looking at the bigger picture but at that moment I wanted chocolate so badly, that I just gave up. It was going to happen no matter the dialog in my head, at least I postponed it to the very latest which meant that I ate less of it than what I would if I started earlier. I am almost afraid of tonight, how am I going to handle it and am I going to succeed this time or f*ck up again?
I am trying to do the right things: eat enough, have balance in nutritions, eat a proper dinner to avoid hunger later. Yet, the evening comes and I am so weak. I think that if I wasnāt taking contraception, Iād be on my period, so maybe thatās why I am finding myself at this weird place of such a struggleā¦? I am not giving up, but I may have to wait for a better day to be able to feel better and stronger 
Just to put it into a perspective, I am so tired that I didnāt even go cycling with my club yesterday and thatās really something!!! And I found myself grateful when realised that itās raining today morning because it meant I donāt āhave toā get up and go for a walk, so I tackled myself in the bed and slept longer than I otherwise wouldā¦ 
I wish I could go to bed right now and without a doubt Iād have no issue to fell asleep within a couple of minutes.
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Cam Iām so sorry for you. I had to read your post in installments cos the pain from losing my Poppy is still not healed.
The only thing that is going to get you through in my opinion is to look after Wolfie and give him all the love you can. Thatās whatās helped me. And as soon as the time is right get another cat. He might not be your soul mate but you will love him. I know itās harder w cats than most dogs to ge them to get along. But thatās what I did and what I will do again when the time comes again. Hopefully not for many years.
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Iām so sorry about Prince. That is so hard. The admin surrounding your therapy is also nuts, and probably the last thing you need right now. 
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Day 1667 : No binge today.
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Day 8: Success
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Yesterday, I kept snacking through the day, then I had a dinner at my mother-in-law and over-ate big time. You know the feeling that you carry a baby in your belly except I carried tons of the dinner I just ate 
It was ridiculous that despite my fullness I was still desiring chocolate. I came home, sat on the sofa, brought chocolate and planned to eat it. The usual thoughts about starting over tomorrow (etc.) were present.
It was my mumās wedding yesterday too and the idea was to have a counter starting on this special day so I could say that I stopped binging on the day when my mum got married. I ate one small piece of the chocolate and felt really awful imagining that itās not going to happen. Kinda sad and disappointed. And then I thought for myself that it doesnāt have to be the case. That I didnāt eat through the day āperfectlyā doesnāt mean that I must end the day by binging. That I can still stop myself and have a binge free day. And so a miracle happened, I put the chocolate on the side and decided that I am not eating it no matter how much I thought I wanted it. And another miracle followed - all the noise in my head stopped. These two voices constantly arguing were gone, I was left in silence and PEACE which I didnāt feel for a very long time! And suddenly I could concentrate on whatās on telly and that my partner is sitting next to me, it was like coming from somewhere else right to my living room, entering my body and being present 
What the heck? I never realised how much headspace binging is taking away from reality. Oh my god! It instantly felt so good!
And so I was far away from having a āperfectā day in terms of my eating, but I didnāt binge and I managed to stop myself from it which I consider like a great achievement! I can see that this one step forward is so much more important than getting it 100% right all the time.
I am very happy today and very motivated and confident that I can do this!
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I can see that this one step forward is so much more important than getting it 100% right all the time.
Actually Iād like to elaborate on this.
I always believed that the eating in the day needs to be exactly like I thought was ārightā. There would be some faded idea about how āperfect eatingā looks like and that would be my goal every day. And any failure in that made me feel instantly 
and discouraged me from continue trying that day. Iād just bin it all and binge with the idea of starting over the following day. But if the following day wasnāt perfect either, the scenario would repeat. Sometimes Iād get the odd āgood dayā in but it never feels sustainable as I have no foundation to build on. I donāt even know how the āperfect eatingā looks like. If you were to ask me, I couldnāt describe it, I could only say what I think that is no good.
And so realising that I should probably be taking small steps and building on them makes me feel less overwhelmed and scared. I think I now understand the meaning of ābeing kind to myselfā. Of course I will do my best to adapt āgoodā eating habits through the day, but I donāt have to give up if I made one small āmistakeā.
Sorry if this was clear to everybody, but I really had no idea, it never really occur to me until yesterday 
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594 sugar
458 UPF
332 gluten/dairy
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Iām so sorry to read about this! I can relate 100%. Iāve been trying to lose weight and the biggest struggle hasnāt been WHAT Iām eating, but rather HOW MUCH Iām eating, but Iāve still gotten those two confused in so many attempts of trying. This time Iāve been trying to approach it with grace for myself. My partner just left me and weāre working though a divorce, weāre working on trying to sell the house, and Iām working through a gender transition āaloneā (Iāve still got support but it feels different now that my wife has left). And Iāve got too much sh*t going on to also be beating myself up when Iām not perfect with my diet. Iāve decided to be kind to myself Iāve done so much better these past 8 days than I have in a year and thereās been a couple of days where I didnāt do perfect, but there are no other aspects of my life that Iām perfect in, what I eat doesnāt have to be either
Thank you for your share! It was touching and I really enjoyed reading it and Iām happy that you were able to also be kind to yourself
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Hello @ErinTheSideOfCaution
It sounds like you have got so much on your plate! Yet youāre doing really well, I admire you 
I always read about your successful days (love you call them this) and it also makes me feel nice in my heart as I genuinely wish to recover for all of us here in this thread (and generally the app users).
Thank you for leaving me this message, I always find support here and it helps me a lot 
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1224 days without binging!
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Day 1668 : No binge today.
@Pincushion Wow, 1224 days without binging is a huge accomplishment! Keep up the good work, youāre doing awesome! 
Congrats on 1 week without binging, @ErinTheSideOfCaution! Keep up the good work!
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Day 9: Close enough 
I got some really bad news today about some of my upcoming procedures and it triggered a very emotional reaction in which I responded with comfort food. Kind of had a āwell, Iām just sad so who cares..ā. Iām not going to reset my counter though because the circumstance sucked and I didnāt allow the binge to turn into a full day or week long event (typically if I fall off the wagon I lock into a āIāll start back tomorrow, or mondayā mentality). I picked myself back up afterwards and calorie counted what I had ate and although itās not great, itās still within how much Iāve been wanting to have, just all in a single āmealā instead of throughout the entire day. Iām going to get a light snack for supper and keep my counter at day 8, as long as the event remains isolated. 
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595 sugar
459 UPF
333 gluten/dairy
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Day 1669 : No binge today.
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Going to try and set a goal next week of no eating after midnight. Currently one week alcohol free, sugar cravings are a thing because of this, but Iāve done pretty good with that, this time around. I need to get on some sort of track with my food consumption, thereās no rhyme or reason to it, which isnāt healthy. Have managed to get some veggies in this week, which I have slacked on hardcore the past couple years, if I am being honest with myself. Iāve been stuck at 205lbs for far to long, and that needs to change. Iād take 180 for a start, honestly would not want to go below 160, even though docs say 115/120 is my ideal weightā¦ Noā¦ Absolutely not going to happen, I do not want to be skinny. I just donāt.
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