I am literally watching anything sometime my wife and I are like « damn this is NOT good! » but we keep watching and chewing because choosing another tv show would take longer
I feel you! For me it’s when the kids are in bed (I am a stay at home dad) I can finally have a time for myself. The thing is that time is so limited that I feel I have to make the most of it. I heard the expression somewhere « revenge parenting », where during the day you give 100% to your kids, then at nighttime you « revenge » yourself by binging TV, food, sleeping late even if you know you’re gonna regret it at 5AM when everyone is up and running but it’s hard because I put them to sleep around 7-7:30, and they wake up around 5, so should be to bed by 9-9:30 if I want to be in shape, but that doesn’t give me a lot of time to : workout, read, etc
Anyways ! Trying today with a « just not today » approach
Oh well that didn’t go very well! Still can’t go over 1.75 days without binge/emotional eating. To be fair my kid got sick and I had to go to hospital for the night (he’s alright just a small infection!) so I was pretty stressed… but still…(tw binge) I emptied the vending machine then I went out to McDonald and eat 2000 calories in about 7 minutes while walking back to the emergency room… This is EXACTLY what I was doing with alcohol. At least this time I sent a picture to my wife because I didn’t want to keep it a secret (unlike with alcohol which was full of secrecy and shame).
After reading a bit more about OA I saw some people who counted the cycle of clean eating vs binge as a compulsive behaviour itself. I think I am really stuck in this cycle.
Sometime I wish to be able to just be abstinent from triggering foods and basically unhealthy stuff. It seems to me it would be easier to just cut off junk and sugar. But then I start to doubt about it and I start to fear the cycle of restriction/binge again. It’s hard to « decide » what I should do with food. With alcohol I spent years romancizing the moderation and finally just cut it off. It was hard but it was best for me. But with food for some reason I find it very confusing with the multiple discourses we can hear.
How did you arrive at choosing what was best for you regarding food behaviour?
Thanks for the support, again I’m grateful for this forum and this community
I too have compulsive eating and some slight binge behaviors. I too have not been great about it lately.
For me, tracking my food intake and looking at nutrients using a tracker app really has assisted me in being accountable and by helping to bring my eating more into my consciousness. Noom was wonderful but requires payment. Myfitnesspal is another one that I currently use. It used to have a free component but not quite sure about that anymore.
Both helped me to try cooking in new ways and experiencing flavors I like that are good for me. Like any kind of recovery, it takes time, support, accountability, commitment, etc. It’s not usually a linear recovery for most folks. I’m not perfect but I’m making progress. Try not to beat yourself up and maybe try to think of a way you can show up for yourself and take the next right step. One day at a time.
I don’t think there’s one right way that always works and works for everyone. The thing is, we can’t cut out food completely, the way we can with other substances that make us dependent. I think it’s a mix of addictive behavior and specific foods that trigger it especially strongly. I always call those “trigger foods,” and for me it’s clearly sugar. I’ve had phases where I cut sugar out completely. That was great, but right now I can’t manage it.
I’m glad I’m not having any binge episodes at the moment. But my eating isn’t exactly balanced right now either. Like Mitch said, you have to keep checking in on how things are working right now and what you need right now to get to healthier eating habits.
Personally, it hurts to accept that I’ll never be able to eat like other people: naturally, with real hunger and a sense of when I’m full. But that’s just how it is for those of us with addictions. The same goes for alcohol, or other substances. We can’t act the way people without an addiction can.
What worked really well for me was the Three Circles approach. You sort things into three categories:
Red zone: What belongs in my red zone? For me, it’s bingeing. Ideally, that just doesn’t happen at all.
Yellow zone: Everything that could potentially lead to a binge, like eating sugar, eating in front of the TV, or not eating anything all day.
Green zone: Everything that protects me, like planned, regular meals, enough protein, reading, taking breaks, getting some movement in, and meditating.
The Three Circles approach actually comes from a 12-step program, originally for people struggling with porn addiction. It’s helped me a lot anyway.
Thanks for the reminder that we need to keep our focus on our recovery every day. I’m spending a dangerously large amount of time in the yellow zone lately. For today, my goal is to stay in the green zone as much as I can.
Sending you lots of love! I hope your child is feeling better, and I wish you a wonderful day.
Both tracking my food and identifying my 3 circles speak to me. Tracking my food has worked in the past. I have to beware to restrict too much, because every time I track these days I try to go in a small calorie deficit. I could start by just maintien my weight for a couple of weeks first. I used my fitness pal in the past, but I try to avoid being on my cellphone when possible in daytime when I am on duty (AKA with the kids lol). So last time I’ve been doing this I was doing it with pen and paper on DASH-diet pre-print checklists. I think I’ll hop on back on this. @Mtrav0040 Do you have a calorie goal or it’s just for general tracking and see what you really eat? (I know how helpful it can be to just monitor the food we eat so we have a better idea of how much we really eat!)
Regarding the 3 circles approach I have to say mine are pretty similar to yours @DanielaJ . Exactly the same in fact. It feels like being in the yellow zone is like doing Exposure and Response Prevention technique. Like it’s « ok » to dip in there but then you have to refrain from this dip becoming a red swim. It could help my « all or nothing » frame of mind when it comes to food… I’ll see how I can integrate it into my days. Thanks again
Hey folks! Its been a minute since I posted in this thread. I felt the need to update here.
TW - Talk of GLP1 and ED
So, my son and I were in hospital for 8 days and i thought I had prepared myself well enough for it to be successful eating wise. I started off good, but by about day 3 or 4, I started to eat some not so healthy foods (even eating some of my trigger foods).
Once getting home from the hospital on Oct 14th, i sort of binge ate on cookies. I have been eating during the night also when I have to wake up and go into the kitchen for my sons antibiotics at 1am. This is a compulsive eating behavior for me and so i had to reset that timer AND the binge eating timer. I resetted them for this morning after givinf it some honest thought.
Then while in hospital, i was debating stopping my GLP1 so that I could have more money to pay off my credit card faster. In all honesty though, I feel like I just stopped caring about my health and my eating behaviours. But after some serious thought, I decided to stick with it. It does help and I would be seriously concerned about my eating and weight if I stopped it without being prepared for it.
I have not been participating in OA much either. Im very distant from it actually. So that may have also caused me to binge/engage in disordered eating. So this week I will get back to meetings.
Anyway, I am disappointed about having to reset both timers I STILL havent figured out how to manage the hospital stays and be able to stay on track. The last hospital stay for my son resulted in a reset too. Gotta keep moving forward. Thanks for giving me the space to share here.
I‘m sorry you had to reset both of your timers. But please be kind towards yourself.
I feel like it’s a huge success that you did so well outsind the hospital. Do you remember the times when or was hard for you to stay away from binging on „normal“ days? You worked so hard to stop that and you were soooo successful. That success is not erased!
The hospital is a highly triggering surrounding. Not only for you, friend, I also feel that it’s almost impossible to stay on track there. I admire that you did so well for a few days. Also a huge success!
With drugs, alcohol or nicotine, we can decide to avoid places that trigger us. Not with food. Not with the hospital. So please see how much harder it is. And please see how strong you were! One binge doesn‘t take that away from you.
I hope you can calm down now and enjoy the new freedom in your home. I‘m so happy that the trach is out. Can‘t imagine how awesome this feels for all of you
Awe dear friend… how is it that you know exactly what to say to me, to make me feel better? I thank u for that girl
I mean true… when i look back to my binging behaviours, i used to binge frequently on any day. There was no rhyme or reason for it. Thankfully on a day to day basis that has been resolved. But its those darn hospital stays that really get me. I will keep at it tho and try to prepare myself differently next time.
Oh lovely, that’s so sweet of you! I think I‘m just offering my perspective and I‘m happy that it makes you feel better about yourself.
I‘m doing okay. Some days are better than others, some are harder. Today was challenging! I had a few lovely days with my family in Hamburg, and it was really great. I’m glad we get along so much better than we used to and that we’ve worked on our relationship.
The challenge today was the long train ride home after a short night. I was at a museum in the morning, which was really nice, and then I got straight on the train and spent the rest of the day there. It was pretty exhausting. Combined with the lack of sleep and all the unhealthy snacks you find on a train (it’s a lot like a hospital that way), it wasn’t easy at all.
I didn’t have a binge, though. For me, bingeing means eating until I feel sick, until nothing else fits, until my stomach hurts and everything hurts and all I can do is lie there. I didn’t do that today, but I snacked my way through the day, and that doesn’t feel good. But like I said to you earlier, when we’re in a tough environment that we can’t avoid, we just have to be a little kind to ourselves, right?
Love that u had some great quality time with ur family in Hamburg! Family is so important
But I can only imagine how difficult it would be to eat well on a train. Ur basically trapped in there with limited options Im glad u didnt binge though girl! Way to go!!!
Writing here quickly to say (and being somewhat accountable) I’m trying something different today. Just no food in bed / no junk, while not being super restrictive in the day. Just for today. I have to stop binging.
Made it to day 2! First morning in awhile that I feel so energized even if my baby woke me at 5am ! I have to remember that feeling. Eating right before bed lots of food is so bad for sleep and recovery…
@Butterflymoonwoman I have been in hospital with my oldest son a couple of weeks ago and the stress/fatigue/emotions got to me too… it is such hard times… you seems to have done well all things considered!! Don’t be too hard on yourself, you’re working so hard on so many sides! Also, just letting you know (since I asked you about timers) I set one for binge and one for eating junk / in bed. My worst food behavior happens in front of the tv, in my bed in the dark. I figured if I’m hungry for real I can manage to go in the kitchen and consciously eat my cereal bowl or whatever is nourishing instead of mindlessly eating scraps in the bed. At first I thought about cutting food after 6 pm, but I think I need more time to adjust my daily intake before cutting night time eating since I’ve been doing this for so long.
Hope y’all have a good one! For me ill try to keep the « just for today » mindset if things get tough
Made it to day 3! We are all sick at home but at least I am not feeling sick from food today! Feeling sick is a trigger for me because of my drinking days. I used to get rid of the hangover by drinking it away. Since I sort of replaced alcohol with food, I crave junk when I’m sick anyways just for today I won’t go down this road
To be honest yesterday was a struggle! I almost went to buy junk. It was 16:45 and I had no idea what the dinner would be and the kids and I were getting HANGRY !! Plus I was walking downtown Toronto, corner of Younge and Dundas… so much fast food near by. Thank god I didn’t know what to buy so I hesitate long enough to get to the point where I just said « just not today » out loud in the crowd. Then « what would be satisfying enough to stop the craving but healthy enough so I do not binge/eat junk food ? » I figured I wanted to eat fast food because I was too tired and sick to cook for us, and I needed something fast. So I went to a nice counter and bought something reasonable for my kids and I made some salads and fruits at home with it.
It felt like a win in my belly !
Today was more emotionally rough but not related to food, and I start to see that I am pretty tired and I can see how junk would just make me feel worse ( so would be eating until I pass out in front of the tv !)
Working on my 1st day again
I havent posted much in this thread for some time. Ive been struggling here n there with food (particularly with the overnight snacking).
I was listening to a OA podcast and it really resonated with me. She was speaking about half measures when it comes to combating the disease of compulsive overeating. And that is very much where Ive been… doing half measures. I have continued to think that I have control over this disease. Since joining OA, I have not gained 30 days of abstinence yet (although I have come close).
I have this issue of not wanting to feel uncomfortable. I mean, I get it… who wants to feel uncomfortable emotions right? But its gone to the extremes with me, in that I will do unhealthy things to avoid experiencing it (for many years that was drugs and now food). Food is my solution to a bigger problem. And what that problem is, is something Im not quite sure about. Sometimes its very obvious when i want to cope with food. Other times, i dont feel like anything is even going wrong and i STILL want to compulsively eat when not hungry.
All i know is that I need to take this more seriously. I gotta get back to meetings and spend more time reading and doing the work in the program (like working thru the OA 12n12 workbook). Starting Monday I will be able to get my exercise in on a more daily basis also, which is good. Will take it 1 day at a time
sometime my wife and I are like « damn this is NOT good! » but we keep watching and chewing because choosing another tv show would take longer 
I STILL havent figured out how to manage the hospital stays and be able to stay on track. The last hospital stay for my son resulted in a reset too. Gotta keep moving forward. Thanks for giving me the space to share here.
I thank u for that girl 
Im glad u didnt binge though girl! Way to go!!!
anyways just for today I won’t go down this road