I am 42 days into my sober journey and i’m feeling positive and enjoying this new freedom and the new me. My only concern is in four weeks i will be celebrating my 60th birthday and i’m feeling anxious about telling friends i won’t be drinking. I suppose as an introvert i’m worried about them asking questions 
Is it normal to feel this way? It should be a happy time but feeling a bit stressed. Any advise for this newbie would be welcome. Thanks
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If they’re good friends I’d expect them to support and encourage you on any personal decisions you’d make to better yourself. If they don’t support your growth and choices they sound more like haters than true friends. And haters can fuck right off. Have a great bday and way to go on 42 days:100:
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Congratulations on your 42 days and happy upcoming 60th!!! It is YOUR birthday, so if you are hosting a party (which you do not have to), you can plan an alcohol free event…let’s take a hike for my birthday or a bike ride or walk in the woods…yoga class…you get the idea.
Are you wanting a big 60th party? Is it already planned? It is okay not have a big splashy party if you prefer not.
But to your question…yes, it is normal to be apprehensive about telling folks especially in such an environment. When and how you let friends know you aren’t drinking is 100% up to you. Of course you could make that part of the invite.
This year has brought wonderful changes! I hope you will join me on xxxx as I celebrate not just turning 60, but xx number of days alcohol free!
Or, tell folks you are taking a break. No need for a big explanation. “It just feels right for me.” is plenty enough to say. 
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Here is something to read
The point being, we alcoholics are great at over thinking things.
Celebrate YOUR birthday how YOU want to. True friends will be ok with it. Those that are not, are not friends.
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My next birthday is a day time Sunday lunch out with my 3 closest friends who know my full story and are very supportive, its day 167 today, i dont feel ready for a full on party yet, i will protect my sobriety however i need to as aside from my daughter its my top priority. My point is to know your limits and boundries, the mere fact that your stressing is telling you something aint right
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Thank you. They are good friends i’ve known for a long time so i am sure they will be supportive, if suprised!. I always tell other people they should not have to justify their decision so i realise i should follow my own advise.
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Thank you to everyone who has responded it means a lot to get some great advise. Starlight 14 hit the nail on the head with wanting to protect sobriety and thats how i feel because i’ve worked so hard to make healthy changes. I think I’m going to arrange a couple of separate small gatherings with some spa time and afternoon tea.
There are some inspiring stories in this community and i’m grateful that i have found some reassurance that its ok to want to look after ourselves.
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To look after yourself is not just ok its your absolute right. Glad to be of help, those alternatives sound fabulous! Real friends that know your story will support you whatever you want to do.
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Congratulations on your days! You are getting into some excellent territory now… making new celebrations.
What a fantastic way to get to 60, focused on taking care of yourself and finding new ways to celebrate that are actually not poisoning yourself!
In your situation, let your friends know ahead of time of this excellent change you are making. You don’t have to say why. Or you can. If you are not ready to be near others who are drinking, then plan for a breakfast or lunch time together. Or make a time for an outdoor hike or go to a movie with friends. As others have said, friends who really care will be happy for you. If you are nervous about anyone in particular, then practice how to talk to that person with a trusted supporter.
I just turned 58 and am just a bit over a year sober. It’s the best gift I have given myself and I’m so pleased with how it is going. I’m up early on a Sunday morning to write this to you with a clear mind and no hangover. Wooot! Look at us go!
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Thank you LAB i just got off the phone with a friend and explained i’m not drinking as i feel so much better without it, sleeping well, tons of energy, more motivated, confidence is growing and i’ve written down all the good stuff and benefits so its handy to remind myself. I sensed my friend didnt know how to respond to the news but she sounded supportive.
I agree that the weekends are fabulous now with no hangovers, so much time to do other things and discovering new places to explore.
Well done reaching your year plus and your gift to yourself will keep on giving so its another great reminder to add to my list.
I’m embracing my inner child and learning to surrender to this wonderful new journey and prioritising me.
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I had to be taught to focus on the day I am living in now. For me, anxiety over an event more than one day in the future was, and still is, wasted motion.
I had to learn also that there is a difference between making a plan, executing it then leaving the results alone and worrying / obsessing.
If the current plan for the celebration involves alcohol, like at a tavern or a keg party, there are steps you can maybe take. But if not, just leave it until the day arrives. “Stay in today”, they repeated to me until I could absorb it and act on it.
Bottom line : your count of sober days is vastly more important than your count of birthdays. Blessings on your house 
as you begin!
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Your birthday you can celebrate it your way , spa day sounds great , on my 60th that was over 10 years ago now had just a few family and close friends round for a meal nothing major , but sobriety comes first wish you well
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This is a great idea!! And what a way to celebrate your entrance into your 60s!! And welcome to ‘the club’!! It is a beautiful thing, being sober at this stage in life!!
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Yes to the inner child.
I happen to teach 6th grade, so I’m around kids age 11-12 a lot. They remind me that I knew how to have fun when I was their age without alcohol. I loved to ride my bike, read fun books, learn how to do new things.
I’ve concentrated a lot these past 15 months on that inner child. I go on adventure walks. I go swimming, yes for the laps and the endorphins, but also for the underwater somersaults and the “hold your breath” contests. I read kid books and watch movies for fun. I go camping and kayaking and take myself on long bike rides. I go to the library and I learn to cook new things. I look up cool places to travel and think about how I can have fun and then sleep well cuz I’m not poisoned.
What did you do for fun before alcohol? One great part of getting older is letting go of so many societal expectations and embracing the real you.
Have fun, life is short.
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Deciding not to follow the crowd and take your own route takes courage but will be so worth it. Thank you everyone for your feedback and support.
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My advice would be to set the stage before hand.
Talk to you close friends and tell them you’re not drinking and it’s a positive impact on you, that you don’t plan on drinking to celebrate and you’d appreciate their support. That way you are less likely to be put on the spot which could endanger your soberiety.
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I think it’s completely normal to feel nervous and anxious telling people you’re not drinking anymore the first time regardless of being introvert or extrovert and I’ve certainly felt that way when I first stopped drinking but like many people have said I was pleasantly surprised how supportive and encouraging my friends and family made me feel. I personally have struggled with anxiety most of my life and part of my drinking was to help cope with situations like what your describing. I was told that I was having “ anticipatory anxiety “ because I imagined the worst would occur. I’ve practiced meditation and breathing wi has helped a great deal as well as being confident and honest with whatever questions might come up. It only gets easier after the first few times, but I’ll bet you’ll be pleasantly surprised how decent people will be!
And Happy 60th! What a great celebration and healthy way to start a milestone birthday in a sober healthy way! You should be be very proud in taking this step towards a better life, I’m glad I did when I turned 60 a couple of years ago as well when I was newly sober. Best birthday present I’ve ever given myself.
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Congrats on your sobriety!! And a happy early birthday 
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Its totally normal to feel anxious. Real friends will understand and if they know you (been around the drunk you) will not question your decision to not drink. If they don’t understand, badger you or try to convince you that you dont have a problem then run- they are not friends. This is YOUR celebration and you should celebrate in anyway and with anyone you want.
In case you dont want this occasion to be the one where you have to explain your sobriety- you could just say that alcohol doesnt mix well with tour antibiotics. Relax., breathe, enjoy your sobriety and look forward to having a great bday celebration!!
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The feeling is normal yes. Your friends may not react positively to your choice of sobriety so try to prepare yourself for that also…
It’s normal to feel like you feel. Your plans sound very nice. During the pandemic I created a really nice new kind of celebrating my birthday: As you I split it up in several occasions with different people. It’s always brunch or afternoon coffee. There are different kinds of authentic apple juices for a apple juice tasting, like a wine tasting but with old, regional, organic sorts of apples. This is delicious, we always have fun.
Wish you a wonderful birthday.
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