How does everyone deal with boredom/feeling empty in sobriety? Currently I’m cycling through feelings of contentment in recovery and then chronic bordem and restlessness. Is this my addiction talking and making excuses to drink? It feels like that but it also feels real at the same time. I’m just managing myself minute by minute and planning everyday to avoid too much time to overthink things. Appreciate everyone’s advice on here and know I’m most likely not alone in feeling this way.
I brought myself a calendar and started scheduling stuff even work. Like gym, shops, movies, going out for dinners, meal prep, I’ve started to house sit this year so meeting up with them I write it down, I’ve also scheduled in art courses and other workshops, then I cross the days off in the calendar. It’s really gotten me they the tough lonely days. Then at the end of the month you see everything you have achieved and you realise you have no time to be lonely, and who cares if you are alone because you achieved these things by yourself. I get it. I crave intimacy but I know I’m not ready. It’s shot and I’m so lonely but scheduling helps.
Maybe a meeting might help not for everyone but can meet new sober friends wish you well
That’s definitely something I think a lot of people striving to become or stay sober have difficulties with which are those stagnant dull lifeless moments that make you want to question it all…but those are going to the the moments that you can control and realize where you’ve been and how far it’s taken you to get this far. Try to engage in activities…talk to people…write…read…post on here
Hey @Sobergal91. Thanks for the ideas! I’ve got myself a journal and am doing similar stuff, trying horse riding, yoga etc and planning every hour just to make sure I’m kept busy. Hoping you aren’t feeling too lonely and are feeling proud of yourself for everything you are achieving too. Sending positive vibes your way
I thought the same so I went to a SMART meeting tonight which was really helpful. Think maybe trying young people’s AA is another thing to look into so I can make some sober friends too. Cheers!
Good point @MarkieMark. It’s just about recognising those triggers and engaging in something more productive or reaching out on here. I know once the urge is gone I’m so grateful I haven’t given in. Speaking on here is really helping thanks for the tips!
I think the meeting idea is great for folks who get bored in sobriety. It seems like it would be a good fit for having something on your schedule to look forward to and perhaps making some new sober friends.
I started going to meetings and actually talking to people. You can go to meetings and be miserable, or you can go to meetings and make friends. We even started going bowling. I didn’t know you were allowed to bowl sober, but you are. I’ve also started hiking and mountain biking. I still have a hard time living without chaos, and staying sober is not easy, but it is much easier with other crazy people that live one day at a time.
I got active, I’m now usually too tired to even contemplate alcohol as I go to the gym, ski, play football, tennis, running, hiking, cycling and lots of other things.
I try and have something planned at least 4 or 5 days a week. I also paint when I can find the time and try to get to AA for my group meeting on a Monday which I do most weeks.
What did you enjoy as a kid? What activities do you think you’d enjoy? It’s a win win for me as you get fit both physically and mentally. You also get a real true feeling of tiredness which is great compared to alcohol induced tiredness.
@NewPerspective I love this. As a kid I liked horse riding, art and writing so those are the things I’ve been looking into. I do SMART recovery once a week but am considering finding an AA group once a week as well just to make sure I’m spending enough time with others and who understand. Thanks for the ideas and he input
I love horse riding, I use to horse ride when I was younger I use to do jumps too, so much fun! It’s just really expensive to do. But it’s something that I want to do this year, and you can do it with other adults as a group.
That’s the only downside! It is expensive here in Australia too! But worth even saving up for a trail ride one weekend. Hope you are able to! Keep me posted
Do you live in Queensland? I am in Melbourne.
I love horse riding too, my cousin has an equestrian centre so I go sometimes when I’m home in Ireland and it’s free. We had our own horse when I was a kid, but it’s expensive here in Scotland too.
I just got back from living in Dublin for a year well we better all start saving then haha!
That’s awesome, I live in Balwyn North, I use to go horse riding in warrandyte, tandivale equestrian.
You are definitely not alone on this one. As many of the others have already suggested, finding new hobbies is extremely helpful. I found that writing was something I really enjoy.
I also have done a lot of work on accepting the fact that boredom is ok. Most of life will be rather mundane…and that’s alright.
It sounds like you are being very self aware and staying focused. Keep up the good work.