Keep getting better at getting better, each and every day.
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It is an insight from the book āthis naked mindā. The author also did a TED talk. Here are some resources.
TED talk
PDF book link
Podcast
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Hello there, Iām sorry to join the chorus, but Iām afraid that I have to agree with the people who say that you have to decide whether your own health or your boyfriendās drinking (and presence) is more important to you. He may well be a nice bloke in his own way, but if his idea of a good time is to get legless all the time, thatās not a good thing for him, and it CERTAINLY isnāt a good thing for you.
I really donāt think that the age difference is particularly relevantā¦ he is an adult, you are an adult, thatās all thatās required. Look at the president of France and his wife!
Anyway, thatās beside the point. If he loves you, and is not just looking for a drinking mate, then he has to make some decisions for himself.
As for you, if I can make a humble suggestion, I would recommend that you look into the books by Allen Carr, they were a big help to me.
I know that I repeat this endlessly (so I apologize to anyone who may read my posts), but you must remember that doing without alcohol is not DEPRIVING yourself from anything, itās FREEING yourself from years of bollocks and nonsense and often outright lies from alcohol companies, or tobacco companies, or whatever else, and sometimes even from often well-meaning friends and family.
You may not be able to help him (unless he wants to be helped), but you can certainly do something for yourself.
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Thank you!
Yes allan carr helped me free myself from smoking. One bad thing is coming from sobriety im realising to much and it scares me how much clarity im getting. Where does that lead my relashionship x
I get the impression that itās leading you to clarity with regard to your relationship as well. I think that, for what little my opinion is worth, you already have a pretty good idea of what is inevitably going to be necessary.
If heās an honest bloke and really cares about you, then he will make an effort to contribute to your happiness. He isnāt RESPONSIBLE for your happiness, but he does have a certain measure of responsibility for how he contributes to your life. He shouldnāt be making things harder for you, quite the opposite.
If he chooses to keep drinking, thatās his business, no one can make a decision for him. That being said, considerate behaviour would be to NOT try to foist his issues on you.
As I say, please forgive for saying so, but I suspect that you already know what you have to do.
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