Brand new, nervous, embarrassed, and positive!

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So nervous to be posting for the first time…

Hope everyone is doing okay, and if you aren’t, hang in there! It will get better!

I’m a music teacher from New Mexico.

I’ve struggled with pornography and all that comes with since I was about 11. I’m nervous to be on here and out in the open like this, it’s hard to let other people see weaknesses! Especially since not as many people understand the addiction and suffering part of the struggle of pornography.(or maybe that’s just in my head, who knows lol.) A lot of people think it’s just a harmless thing. I strongly disagree. There’s no love, no connection, it just creates an insatiable craving to fill an unending void.

I’m hoping to find some encouragement and support on here! I had been sober for nearly 7 months!(which includes masturbation), which is my longest streak ever. Then I had a relapse. Then I was sober for 15 days, then another relapse. So I’m trying to be proactive!

I receive tons of support from my wife, even though she doesn’t fully understand what I deal with especially with the withdrawals and urges. So I thought through this app I could see people that really understand that side of it. I also receive very helpful support through my religion, I am one of Jehovah’s Witnesses.( Which I’m hoping I may just talk openly and not have anyone talk negatively about my religion or beliefs, that’s not why we are here, this is a place of encouragement and support. :smile:)

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I’m so proud of you for doing this. Now are you going to stick around and recover from this? I taught a bit of piano when I was younger, but teaching music really didn’t fit my personality. I just wanted to play and still do.

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Let me just tell you something your sex life will improve with your wife, she is gonna love it plus you go back to seeing her as a sexy woman. Porn for whatever reason nums you when it comes to that after some time of watching it, I think you are a taking a big step by admitting you have a problem. Stay away from online stuff for a little while, harder said than done but you can do it good luck man on your journey.

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Thank you for the support! And yes I’m in for the long haul for sure.

You should start playing again! Just for fun :grin:

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Thank you for your encouragement. I look forward to all the benefits of staying clean! :blush:

It does numb you. It’s horrible. Then when you’re sober you look and are shocked that you were so numb!

I’m very grateful for my wife.

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welcome here! you can find tons of support here and people that know what challenges you face. I can really imagine that not all people in life understand how you feel about this. There are people here that face the same. check in, read and share. we all learn from echt other. Blessings!

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