So I relapsed almost a year ago with heroin. Everything is ok financially at the moment. I have tried suboxone and that didnt work. I have tried methadone and I just dont like the way it made me feel (hard to explian). Everytime except ince I have sobered up in jail. I know I have this in me. I need to go cold turkey. Its just the way I am… But I do this alone. My wife knows but has never been addicted to amything in her life. I know i will lose her if this continues. I recently even caught her talking to another guy (an old HS friend) about all of this behind my back. But I dont blame her too much I blame my actions. I just really need someone who understands and knows what I am trying to go thru here. Anyone to talk to would be great. I am trying again after my last dose tonight.
Cameron, there is no better time than now, buddy. Flush that stuff, and go for a walk. I bet the fresh air will help you feel better.
Welcome!
For a couple decades, i tried…right after the last drink. I knew I could do it alone…
Then one day, I did the strongest thing I ever did…I asked for help…and accepted it. We are stronger together.
You deserve a sober life
It’s when you stop getting up after falling that you fail… good job for not giving up and continuing to continue! 
What triggers your urges to use heroin?
I would suggest going on walks with your wife when you feel like using, that way you can remember why you’re trying to get sober, for you and her, right? If you can push to walk through that difficultie with your love by your side, I think you can do it.
Good luck to you! You got this!
Hello and welcome im also a heroin addict I totally understand what your going through… as we both know it’s a devil drug to get off but once you do it your never have to go through this hell ever again I got clean Jan 19 … I’ve relapsed in between but thank God I never got a habit but as we both know unless we work on ourselves it’s only a matter of time before it gets hold of you . Good luck and please feel free to message me for help and support. X
See we as addicts can’t do this thing alone we need support in the worst way. Meetings,sponsor,step work,service work & helping others by kind words or gestures to pick them up when they fall. A addict helping another addict is the way it all started. I can relate to things being shared with others that were private to us. I also was thinking well no one knows until that happened but that wasn’t the case people new when I thought they didn’t. The more I tryed to hide the sicker I became. “Honesty” is key I’m here for yuh so reach out any time
I cant really tell what triggers me. I think I have just gotten used to failing now so I just kind of give up. But I am here now. First 13 hours 
Because the thing that bothers me the most is not being able to sleep. So I am trying to use my last night of sleeping to get thru ny first 13 hours.
Heroin/fentanyl
Wow thanks to all the replies… Knowing me its just getting past the actual physical habit of using and the guilt and shame of giving up so much for the first day (today). Its when the withdrawals kick in I start getting truly desperate (tonight or if I am lucky closer to tomorrow morning).
Do you have any advice for leg pains and no sleep?
I got no advice I’m afraid my sleep was terrible for about 3months as for the leg pains I layed in lots of baths !