I’ve been struggling for a year now with sobriety, on and off, on and off and my wife has been nothing but patient and supportive. I work as an insurance broker and jave started to travel, with this the temptation to drink is always there and it’s seen as part of the job. Anyway, I don’t have 3 beers, I’ll have 7 then shots, then vodka red bull until I don’t know who I am or what I’m doing. Trouble is always around the corner. This time it comes from being away and being in a pit of self loathing (still drink next day) and putting pictures so myself.up on line and talking to any responders fantasising about me … Messed up. But during this time I felt like o didn’t care of the consequences. Not until I started to sober up in the coming days did I realise what I had done or what j had lost. I was sure that my email was linked to my browser and that there was a good chance my wife would see but I just did it anyway. Of course my wife saw it, and I’ve hurt her again. My sober self does not think like this, just this self loathing, no self esteem drink person who just wants to screw his life up. I don’t know of anyone else is like this…I think there’s more at play but sober me is not like this. I now know I could lose my wife and my family (I have a daughter) and the consequences of my actions are almost too much to bear. How do I go about repairing the breach I’ve caused? How to I get back on track? I’m such a bad person but j don’t want to be…
Thank you so much Oliver. I have much to work on, I love my wife dearly. You are so right in that I become a selfish, destructive and self loathing version of myself. I lose all self respect and respect for anything I hold dear, I just want to keep drinking and continue to self destruct. I am going to see a counselor again. I’m onedocagion for anxiety and depression (likely from the drinking in the first place) so shouldn’t even be thinking about a drink but i cave easily as others do not understand the monkey I have on my back and they say I’m so much fun when I’m drinking. It makes me down to think I can’t be fun and be accepted by colleagues. But it makes me.more down that k could lose my family. Is there a place in this world for sober businessman? How do I get my wife’s trust back? Really thankful for people like you mate.
Thanks Oliver. Sounds like sobriety has been treating you well, and looks like you’ve worked really hard to get there. I want to be like you, a sober salesman. Im also a salesman, I guess there’s a few alcoholics out there in the sales world. Thanks ks for your words of encouragement. How do you tell clients, prospects or colleagues that you domt drink when they ask or press you? Lots of questions, I likely k ow the answer to this one just need encouragement. I don’t want to give up my job as I feel I’m getting better at it, just don’t want it to ruin my home life…
Thank you Oliver Java, it’s been ups and downs. I just need to get into a rythym. I need to sell sell sell now and a clear head will give me that opportunity. I just need to push the temptation away knowing I will only come back to one place…