Its been a hot minute since I’ve posted anything… and tonight I’m kinda in my feels, I ended a 3 year relationship/courtship tonight. And i’m kinda down about it. I know I shouldn’t be considering how toxic it got in the last 3 years. But I love him with my whole damn heart… Now I’m trying not to make that phone call or drive to please my cravings. I have an amazing support system (My big bro and 3 of my best lady friends)… I’m just stressed with life and everything else. I’m going on 1 year of being off work, on Medical leave, I was diagnosed with stage 2 Angiosarcoma back in March of last year. And I feel like my life has just fallen completely apart since then. I just wanna give up, say fuck it, and walk away. My children stop me from doing just that, what would they do without their mama? I ask myself. They already don’t have a father. 
I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel completely helpless
You have quite a bit on your plate right now. One day at a time 
Stress can weigh us down for sure. You’re doing the right thing by counting your blessings and abstaining. Have a good sleep, rest your mind, and move forward with a fresh mind. Take care of you and big hugs 
Life really has a way of heaping it on, huh? I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time. It sounds exhausting, but all these problems will still be there if you push the fuck it button and pick up, except now you’ll have to deal with them with a hangover or a comedown.
You’re not helpless. You’ve come here for starters, that shows that you realise that things are becoming overwhelming before they’ve got too much to deal with. I think that shows a real, deep strength.
It’s great that you have an amazing support group, can you try leaning on them a bit more right now? Let them know that things are particularly difficult and you need a little bit more help?
I know I could lean on them more if needed… I just always feel like a burden… I’m not one who openes up to people, I bottle till I burst. And I know I can’t just fuck it I’ve done that before changed one thing… And that was my sobriety date. My kids definitely help me keep it together. Today I was so damn close to my braking point and I decided to come try and get some advice or maybe just some input on all of it. Before I went and did something I know I’d regret.
I’m sorry that life is so heavy for you right now. I think you are doing an amazing job at recognising all of your feelings and by coming here you have shone a light on the addictive part of your brain that is trying to get you all to it’s self. It sounds like you have some amazing people around you lilmama. I’m praying for you and all of your family. I hope things settle down for you soon. Stay strong, be kind to yourself, you are doing so well during all of the things that life is throwing at you right now. Much love 
I’m right there with ya. Me and my wife of 6 years separated 221 days ago. I know that cause that too is my sobriety date.
4 months after that we got back together and got into a place. Just a week ago we have separated for good and so I too have been gone from this site for awhile til 2 days ago I needed my people.
Just being here, posting, interacting, I hope helps you a little bit @Lil_Mama. I think it can. You certainly aren’t a burden here. And without knowing you or yours I’d say you’d be surprised at how happy most people are to help when given the chance. ‘Lean on me’ goes for many many people. leaning on drugs or booze instead is always false. That’s a flight, that’s numbing, that’s going deeper in the hole. Stay sober and hang with us and with those in your life you trust. Let’s do this. Sober and clean. Hugs Mama.
Oh darlin I’m sorry to hear thats rough I know when my ex husband and I separated it was hard… I can only imagine… my heart goes out to you! Sending good vibes and positive thoughts your way 
I can relate. I split with my fiancé over the Christmas period, and I felt awful. I drank heavily for 10 days, but it didn’t make be feel any better. I now tend to think about tomorrow Michael(me) and how I’d feel in the morning if I drank. He thanks me for not drinking every single morning, he’s very grateful, and life thanks me too. Don’t do it… think about tomorrow you. You will get through this, just like I did.
This hit me hard. That’s the only thing that’s ever changed from my relapses too. Have you tried going to online AA meetings? Intherooms.com has one every hour, might be a good place to share and blow off steam to stop it building up?
Obvs I don’t know your personal relationships but from my experience, whenever a dear friend has told me they dealt with something alone because they didn’t want to be a burden to me, I’ve always wanted to bump them on the side of the head and tell them it’s never too much of a burden!! Maybe that’ll be the same for your support network?
Oh just peachy… I’m really irritated today. But I’m sober so that’s all that matter at this point I suppose.