So along 6.03 months of self harm. I gave it all up.Needed to let it out.Curling up and cryingwasn’t working. I’m not enough. Nor will I ever be. Treated like I did it all wrong. Like I failed. Made me feel worthless tonight. Now I feel like overdosing. Maybe he will see how much I care.
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As someone who has been down that path before, I know how you feel. Please know that you will ALWAYS have worth no matter when or where you are. We are all human and we all slip up. I’ve self harmed in the past two so I know the desire to release, but it is never worth it, NEVER. You are not alone in this struggle, there are always people who will care for you no matter what. I know, whomever this man is, isn’t worth you hurting yourself over. Not a single soul is worth it. Your value is WAY more than what this man is giving you, infinitely more.
Hey Jaxxi I’m sorry for your pain. You’re not a failure for relapsing or feeling depressed or sad or anything. You always have another chance of getting better and there will be many more ups and downs to come, we all deal with them, it’s ok this way.
I’m getting the feeling someone else is on your mind and you have the thought to proof something to them or get them to do sth or react to you. While I understand the sentiment, this kind of love or relationship is playing with fire. Or it’s living with fire. You cannot force another to react in a way and to attempt so with self destruction is madness, even if it might feel like something else to you atm, like love or need or necessity. You are you and you have worth, intrinsically, just for yourself. Another person’s love can be given to you but it will not be able to fill this doubt in you that you’re not enough. And neither can you prove your love through pain and self destruction. Prove it through life, rather.
Right now you’re hurting so all you gotta do right now is to take it slow, stop whatever addictive or dangerous bahaviour you might be doing or thinking about doing and get some rest. We are all here to chat to you, if you want to tell us more about what’s going on. You are important and it’s important you stay save and care for yourself. Everything else you can work on over time. Thank you for reaching out here! 
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