Day 1 of 30.
I did this before and I can do it again - it feels impossible, but if I bite it off in pieces I think I can do it.
Patience. Today I’m really trying to think about patience. I’m reading Wherever You Go, There You Are. I need patience today, for sure.
Good luck to all others out there.
I’ve found that I’m most impatient when it comes to patience. I’ll allow myself grace and compassion for everything else except for patience… I just want it now!
That’s a trauma response though.
The best way to practice patience is by looking outside of yourself. Get some perspective.
How would you have handled the same situation last month, year, decade?
Be kind to yourself.
But most of all, patient. 
Hang in there. You got this.
Today’s been pretty alright. Thank you. I’m very fortunate that I really only need to hang in til 6PM my time (2 more hours), and I’m good because everyone comes home around then.
Not great today - feeling like a total asshole so far this morning. I’m doing my best though and I try to remember that.
Anyway.. day 2/30. I go into work today, which is really a great thing. It should help me get through the day.
Feeling very committed to my sober journey right now.
I’m sorry you’re not feeling great. Try to remember that feelings aren’t facts. You’re not an asshole, you’re a healing human…
Also, I hear the dick, pussy, asshole monologue in Team America: World Police …
Be kind to yourself today. Try to say something positive about yourself out loud today. 
And congratulations on 2 days!!! That’s HUGE! 
I don’t know if appropriate but I’m sort of just going with the flow day to day here, and I do NOT care for today. Day 2 has been quite difficult, and I just need to get through another 90m for smooth sailing. Sure I will, but hate it right now 
Hating the process.
Thanks
You’ve got this! Do it white-knuckled and bitching the whole time; but just do it. You have your reasons. Remind yourself that it’s not always going to feel like this. I’m hoping it’s gotten better for you!
Day 3. This is easily going to be the most difficult day this week - and I’m sick with some head cold bullshit so that doesn’t help.
All my coworker’s are driving me a bit nuts this morning… and I’m looking at about 4.5hrs of meetings today. At least those will help pass the time of me feeling tempted.
Feeling a PMO type of flatline right now - not a complete flatline, but it feels like my sexual energy is either completely dead and off or screaming at me to get online and start finding a way to get to porn. I’m actually quite thankful for the dead portions - they’re scary but easier than being pressured 100% of the time. Sometimes I get an OCD like pressure that I simply must PMO - that if I don’t, the noise and drive in my head will never be quiet and I’ll never again have peace. Thankfully not experiencing that yet.
Anyways… Day 3 begins.
I 
get this!
I get this so much
It is a compulsory behavior. It’s a learned response. Think Pavlov’s dogs.
So, there is hope that you can retrain your brain.
It doesn’t, however, help in the interim.
There was a time I thought if I didn’t PMO I would die. I’m not exaggerating at all. I literally thought I was going to die!
Stop breathing. Heart stop. Flatline. Dead.
So, I understand the “noise” that you’re talking about.
What’s invalidating is when people will say: well, distract yourself…it’ll go away in 15 minutes.
Bull.
Shit.
Not when you’re prone to obsessive and copulsive thoughts. I wish 15 minutes!
What’s helped me get to 100+ days was reframing what I needed physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc. Going to the gym has been the most effective TBH. It helps me mind, body, soul. Find that thing that will help you hold on white-knuckled… and Oh Mylanta there will be many of those days ahead! But, it eventually gets easier until it doesn’t.
You’ve got this, my friend!
Its going to be okay. Either way. Its going to be okay.
We’re here to support and love you…
Made it to the easy part of Day 3 - today ultimately sucked, but it sucks a hell of a lot less because I didn’t fuck things up harder trying to make everything less sucky.
Patience.. trying patience.
One quote I heard somewhere in school summarizes both theology and philosophy; and it’s been so profound in my life:
He who suffers well, suffers less.
There will be suffering in life. If we try to avoid or postpone it, we end up suffering more.
I’m so proud of you today!
Day 4. Well, here’s to another tough one!
That reminds me of what my madcap Aunt used to tell me:
Life’s like eating a steak;
Sometimes it’s gristle;
Sometimes it’s prime;
You’ll choke on it;
Unless it’s one bite at a time.
It might be a tough day; however, you’re tougher. Look at all the things you’ve survived so far!
I believe in you.
Thank you for all of your replies buddy, much appreciated. Sorry if I’m short for words at times with your journey or gratitude for your help with mine, it’s just a tumultuous time for me rn
Day 5. Feels like some kind of a marker, I guess because if it were tallies I’d have a diagonal now. This has been difficult but not anywhere as bad as last time. Part of me is happy and the other part is scared for when the other shoe will drop. anyways, I’m proud - day 5 here I am.
This is a trauma response. This is concentrated anxiety, pure and thrice distilled.
Challenge those thoughts with it’s opposite.
“But who knows how long it’s going to last before it all goes to shit again?”
“What if it doesn’t and I get what I worked hard for?”
“Nothing good lasts forever.”
“And nothing bad lasts forever, either!”
“There’s no point, it’s not going to work out.”
“The point is it can and will work out for me because I want it to; and I have everything within me to maintain it.”
Challenge those thoughts that keep you imprisoned. That’s how you’re going to bust out of those shackles! Challenge them out loud…not just in your head. Challenge them even if you don’t believe them right away. You’ve been conditioned to believe that shit happens and a lot; it’s time to deprogram yourself and then reprogram your brain to being realistic and at rest.
Shit does happen. Life can be super shitty sometimes. That’s just life. But look at what you’ve survived already! The worst is behind you. It’s done. Can you think of a million worse things that can happen? Sure. I’m sure there are a million and one worse things. But that’s your brain trying to stay ahead of the curve, and it’s literally impossible.
Rest. Reach for peace.
Today is day 5. Congratulations!!! That’s HUGE!
“I’ve successfully worked 4 sober days. I can and will have another successful one!”
Use your skills and make it happen.
These past 4 days didn’t happen by chance or luck.
(And don’t worry about not responding well or enough. That’s not even a thought in my mind. I promise! I’m glad you’re here… and who isn’t going through shit?)
Keep being perfectly imperfect because you’re wonderful.
Today is day 6! I wanted to note that for myself here, but elected to post in the PMO thread today
Yay! I knew you could do it!
Keep stacking those days and reaching out for help. Even Jesus needed help carrying His cross!
How’s it going?