Can I give up? Any advice?

Hi.
I have gone sober a couple of times, for a few weeks or a month. Im looking at trying again because last night I snuck vodka into the house. My girfriend found me passed out drunk. I was hiding my drinking from her. She is understandably very upset and angry with me today.

I have made an appointment with the doctor. I have previously had very abnormal liver values on blood tests and an enlarged and fatty liver on ultrasound but Ive ignored that for about 2 years. I know the doctor is going to be annoyed at me but Im going to go anyway. Im going to ask to be signed off work for this week to try and help me cold turkey off alcohol. And Im going to ask to go back on anti anxiety meds and get another blood test to assess the liver again.

My girlfriend is most annoyed because when I have been drunk before I have chatted to other girls by text and been flirty. I didnt do that this time but I refused to show her my phone when I woke up and was still very drunk. I understand the trust is going to be damaged by that.

I guess I know I can go off alcohol because I have done it before. But I always slip back to it. Will I ever be normal? Can I even trust myself anymore, let alone ask my girlfriend to trust me? And is there any advice anyone has?

Sorry for the self pity!

The question is are you willing to admit you have a problem and are willing to work to get sober? Sobriety isn’t easy but it’s always worth it to build better relationships and have a better life. I have alcoholics hepatitis so I know what you mean by liver problems. Trying to get your life together for yourself and your loved ones have a lot of bumpy roads.

You might have stopped drinking once but slipped back up because you weren’t really working through your problems that cause you to drink. That’s the insanity of this disease.

2 Likes

A huge key here is are you doing this for you or so she won’t leave you? Because if you do this for anyone other than yourself, it isn’t going to work. Do you want to be sober? If so, what are you willing to do to get there? For most of us here, the answer is whatever it takes. You have some ideas in place and want to do this, that’s a great start!! Don’t rule out a treatment program too if you haven’t looked into those yet. You get to decide if you are going to do this or let it destroy your life and ultimately kill you. I’m sorry if this sounds harsh but we both know it will. Ask your doctor about their recommendations for treatment and how this effects your liver, they may have some great resources as well. Good luck!

1 Like

It’s looking like you’re in “prove it” territory with your girlfriend at this point. Trust is earned through action – consistent action – and not words. Words become meaningless after your actions contradict them, more and more each time.

Along with “proving it” to your lady, you more importantly need to prove it to yourself. Prove to yourself that you are a person of integrity, of worth, of honesty and transparency. Give yourself this gift. You can do it.

Exactly what has already been said. Doing it for someone else, no matter how important they are in your life, will not work. You have to want it for you first and foremost! Do it because it will make YOUR life better. That will trickle down to help your relationships.

Also, don’t know what kind of anxiety meds you are going to ask for, but if they are benzos be VERY careful. The first time I stopped drinking I started again because I had Xanax to help my anxiety after drinking. Then a year ago I had to get clean off alcohol and benzos. It’s was, and still is, the WORST!

You sound like a Do-er man. So yeah, do it. Go to the doctor and take off work. It’s also sounding like this is coming up on some serious Heath problems so you have that to drive you too.
Will you ever be normal?? No. Not if you’re an alcoholic and keep drinking. Can you live a normal life? Shit yeah you can… If you quit drinking.

3 Likes