Hello everyone. I am new here and looking for some advice. I have been sober since 1st january and doing really well. However i have a date next week and i am tempted to have just 1. What harm can it do? But me being me i get either hyper or nervous and either emotion leads me to get carried away and before i know it im waking up in my bed covered in puke. I cant go sobre though help!
If you truly feel you have a âdrinking problemâ then no one on here including me will tell you itâs ok to have even one. Especially for something like a first date. Of course that ball is entirely in your court.
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Thank you for your responce. My problem is with binge drinking. I want to learn to attend social gatherings without the help of booze. But i keep thinking what if i can moderate, just have the one. But i know if i am serous about being sober i need to let it go completely. Thing is i am always the fun one. But no one realises how unhappy i am the next day. I am just venting and probably not making much sense.
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I wouldnât recommend it, and I know in my own personal experience âjust oneâ is a physical impossibility. It can do all of the harm. If you want to really learn to live sober, you are going to have to teach yourself how to handle possibly uncomfortable social situations without alcohol. Itâs one of those things that takes time and practice to really get the hang of, especially if you have been using alcohol as a crutch for so long. For me one of the major reasons I would drink was because I liked the feeling of having this sense of confidence and lack of inhibitions to do things and be a social butterfly. NOW, i just do the daunting things sober. Itâs a way more powerful and rewarding experience, because you didnât take the easy way out. See it as a challenge to yourself to be better
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You make perfect sense, @alpine_1975 kinda answered you. I donât think anyone here will tell you that a drink or two is an acceptable idea, I certainly wonât. But, you are the one making the decision and you have to live with that choice. It sounds like i would not drink anything if I were you, but i make that comment based on me. You Do You. Good luck, i hope you make good decisions.
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Thank you everyone. I think just talking it through makes the world of difference. I know what i need to do. I made the choice to go sober for a reason that doesnt change just because i have a date! I do not want to build another relationship based on alcohol they only ever go one way. I got to embrase this new challenge ohhh but its frightning.
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You are definitely making sense when you talk about being the âlife of the partyâ or happy go lucky while out and about, then miserable the next day.
In the past, when Iâve said Iâll have just one, I ended up staying out all night and it got me back into full swing party girl.
This party girl has done her share + more and Iâm excited to announce âThe party is over!â. Lol
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BtwâŚwhatâs the point in just one? Thatâs not even worth it, you and I know more will be needed to hit that prime level.
I agree with your decision. Plus, learning how to have fun sober is key to a good recovery. Good luck my dude.
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It will go from 1 to one bottle. Itâs just not worth it to undo all your hard work and to wake up feeling like poo.
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I also drank because of social anxiety but the thing is that, will just 1 be enough? 1 drink for me is not enough to kill the social anxiety, so I cant have any and have to learn how to deal with social situations another way.
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I agree with @Success . What is the point of one? Thatâs just a teaser. Just none is safer. But thatâs me. If I could have just one I would not be on this forumđ
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You are all spot on! I was just fooling myself i know fine well it will not be just the one. Ive been so happy lately i dont want to spoil it. My date suggested drinks and ive said yes but now i am going to suggest either dinner, a walk or coffe. I know that if i stay strong i will be so pleased. Whats so great about drinking anyway, the high only turns to a nasty low. Ive lost count of great nights that have ended up with being sick in bed (btw terrifys me). Rationally there is no decision to make! It has sone hold does the poisonâŚ
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The kind of drinking problem I had was interesting. I was able to just have one or two and stop, sure. I went for so long thinking âOk, my limit is 3 a night, no matter what else is happening.â And it would work, sometimes even for months. But then there would be that time when I had three and thought, âOh, whatâs one more this time? Everyone is still having a good time.â So Iâd have 4. Then the next time 5. Then maybe 6 and a shot and Iâd be right back in the swing of overdoing it all the time. Itâs a slippery slope, so for me at least, I decided that having none was the way to go always, because we I didnât want to end up a mess again, which was always inevitable.
You donât need booze to have a good time and be enjoyable!
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This describes me so well. I could moderate for some period of time and then think I would be fine if I drank more. And no, no I wouldnât . now I know itâs safer just not to have the first one at all!
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I recently gave it to that temptation to have just oneâŚit turned into 3 in a VERY short time. I immediately hit ârestartâ on my counter and realized that one is an impossibility.
Sure, there are lots of people out there that CAN have 1 drink and be fine but if ANY of us were one of those people we wouldnât be here.
<3
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I tried to have âJust oneâ yesterday, as a test to see if I could do it. I wasnât even in a social setting. I just wanted to because I thought I couldâŚ
Just one became buying two from the bottle shop⌠and lead to drinking 6 cansâŚ
Now Iâm laying here, with the worst hangover Iâve had in months, hating myself for doing some really stupid and immature shit online and for throwing 16 days sober down the drainâŚ
I wouldnât recommend it, but I guess you can only see for yourself and make the choice.
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Thanks all for your comments they have really helped me. It turns out my date is not even a big drinker himself bonus! I casually txt and suggested dinner not the pub as i dudnt fancy drinking and he was totally cool with it. Im so pleased ive made this choice now i feel confident i wont slip up. Fingers crossed but i have more strength now that i did yesterday so hopes are high! Heh i may even enjoy myself! Ill be drinking soda and lime and i can drink how many i want!
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I know how this feels totally and even although its a terrible feeling we still consider it again. Doesnt make sense. At christmas i was having just the one but i didnt seem to be geting my usual hyper self so i had more then more until i woke up next moring with sick in my hair and no recolection of getting home (the blackouts are happening more often now). And yet i still consider having just the one! Sounds ludicrous saying it out loud
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My advice is that if you feel tempted, then it may not be a good idea. At least for now. If its your first date then you may feel nervous and drinking the first one may lead to another and another. But like several people have said here, its up to you. Only you can hear your own voice. Best of luck on recovery and your date.
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Good idea to go for dinner instead of drinks. Although the standard first date advice would be coffee so that you can escape if you are not clicking. Haha. I kind of miss dating. It is nerve wracking but for the same reason itâs kind of a rush. Have fun!
Gaining confidence in being âyour usual hyper selfâ without the poison crutch should be awesome in the long term. Thatâs one of my main reasons for wanting to quit.
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