Cant get the control back

Was 4 days sober, then christmas evening i drank, first en second christmas day i drank again. Yesterday i didnt drink but was a bit hungover and my anxienty started to act up. Today drinking again.

First christmas day wasnt even that bad, i had a few glasses of wine, but had it under control and didn’t even feel like drinking that much. However second christmas day i was at a bar with friends (its a very corrupted bar, idk it thats the right term, but allot of bad people come there and they are dangerous and wanted) and it was very busy, that was the first mistake we made…going in while it was so crowed. (normally just up to 10 ppl there and such a nice vibe there) A huge fight started and even my friends got attacked, blood was everywhere…i was in such a shock, cos i couldnt find my friends and then i had a panic attack. Now it feels like i drank more that night to forgot it and today too.

my panic attacks make it more difficult to not drink. it feel so fucked up!

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Hi - have you ever sought mental health counseling or have you been prescribed anti-anxiety or depression medicine? I, myself, have self medicated for as long as I can remember. After finding a good anxiety drug, though, has helped. I hope you are feeling better today - one hour, even one minute, at a time!