Yesterday was the first day all this year that everyone was outside at the park, it was 72 and I couldn’t wait to get out with my boyfriend and enjoy the fresh air.
I often get nervous to go out because almost 30 days ago I was drinking to function and smoking weed to stay sane. My boy and I got into a little bicker of a conversation before leaving our apartment and BOOM 
I was already feeling triggered.
Mustering up some fake happiness I went on to the park with him. There was so many people at the park with their kids, dogs, and the smell of weed was in the air.
I’m not going to lie, I love the smell. I found the smell triggering in the way that typically on a nice day I would find myself smoking a pen or a blunt to enjoy said nice day, Yesterday I didn’t have that…
I told my boyfriend my wants and wishes for a glass of wine or just a puff but this morning I realized something. Just as I miss these things I also loath them. Both of these addictions landed me in jail, I lost friends, and I am still mending relationships with my family. Now I can’t miss those things today. For every good moment was 3,600 bad days. Today I don’t have to apologize for actions from last night, Today I can apply for that job I couldn’t get last month because I’m clean. Today is a good day. Keep going, you’ve got this.
