Trying to get sober for good. Alcohol has always been a problem for me…I can never just have one drink. I usually drink till I pass out or have a hell of a buzz.
I quit October 2,2020. I feel good. I’m not hung over, have some energy, slept okay last night…however, I realize drinking was such a normal part of my daily life I didn’t realize just how often I drank. Take today for instance, Sunday afternoon, the weather is a nice cool fall day, I’m fairly relaxed and the thought of “oh a drink sounds amazing right now as I’m snuggled up under this blanket. Windows opened. Just to relax” then I realized just how much of a routine drinking had become for me.
Hoping to find other things to do but not gonna lie doing things sober is scary…how do you have friends over sober, or watch a college football game…what about how to relax sober after a very stressful day or when you go on a date . So many scary things seem to lie ahead but I want to get sober for longer than a few days.
What may seem scary isn’t all that bad. Don’t over think it and just go with it. We’re pretty adaptable, we need the crutch less than we think, so long as we live in the present.
today is my 1st…again. my routine is have a drink while cooking. So I guess I won’t cook! Actually either I will work out then go home or walk the dog first
Gonna be hard to change routines.
Tried to go to an afternoon meeting but no one showed up…
Just hope I can stick with this change of routines
Welcome to our amazing forum. I found changing routine difficult in the beginning. When I couldn’t find something to do, I went for a walk. I walked a lot in the early days but nature was my go to rather than a drink or a drug. I started attending AA meetings to meet sober people and from there my routine started to change. Keep trying new things until you find your way.
Btw…I like your user name. My daughter’s middle name is Lee and of course my first is Lisa.
This is my first day for what seems like the millionth time. I think the longest I’ve gone is 3 weeks and fall into the “oh I’ve had a stressful day. I’m going to have 1.” (Which I can never just have 1). Or we go out to eat and I always get a drink while out with dinner. It’s just something I never realized how often I did.
I’m going to try going to the gym more and getting out of the house. I work remote now and being cooped up in the house with my two young children is stressful. So knowing that’s a trigger I’m going to try to realize it and get past it.
Becky, I’m here for you if you need! We can get through this!!
Thank you for the advice!! It’s a start at least and knowing someone else did that and things changed for them gives me hope! Thank you!!
It’s my actual first and middle name . You have good taste in name picking!
Welcome. I’m Jim. Folks here are amazing! I’m 420 days sober. I had a couple of slip ups but eventually found my stride. Read and post often. We are all here for you. Anything is better than drinking! One day at a time. Revisit old hobbies or pick up new ones. Welcome to your new life. The sky’s the limit and everyday is the next best one! You can do this and you will. I wish you continued luck on your journey please reach out if you need to!
That’s a fact known to you right? Then it can’t be forgotten, and 1 can’t be an option.
I learned early in my sobriety this time, that to drink is to die. Maybe not actually pass away, but I die emotionally and become distant from people and my own feelings, I die physically and become tired and lethargic, I die spiritually and start to only care about me, myself and I, and there is a legit fear of actually perishing because I put myself in dangerous situations and contemplate suicide.
I still play the tape, there is no 1 drink for me, I know it leads to more, always does… I did a ton of research on it lol.
If you get the “just ones” thought, think about posting here and what we’d say, think about the drinks after, always think past the first drink.
First off…slow down! Yes there are a lot of moving parts in sobriety and best to take them on one at a time and do each one well. Filling in that gap that not having booze around to fill is a daunting task that seems to get bigger not smaller as you are finding out about just how involved drinking was in your life. Make a schedule and first fill in all the times you drank with sober activities…meetings, hobbies and exercise should be high on your list and then don’t look back. Focus on your new sober life and try to not let your past rowdy times lure you back. It is not an easy task that you really have to want bad.
THANK YOU!! You are completely right there is no one drink for me. I never thought to think past that 1 drink because I was always so focused on that 1 drink and making it work but it doesn’t. I can’t.
That one really hits home. Thank you!
Your right. I need to slow down…the thought of a sober life is scary. Alcohol played such a huge role in my life. To relieve stress, to relax, on a cool fall Sunday afternoon, with pizza or wings, when we move, etc. and to think how am I suppose to go to dinner and turn down a drink? Not so much how but I’m afraid I won’t be strong enough. I just don’t want to start over. I want this to be my last first week.
However, I agree. Slow down. One day at a time.
Few people admit this but sobriety and the notion of never drinking again scares the hell out of people and is a massive leap of faith. Most just give it a try, test the waters and leave the door open to fail so they have an excuse that sobriety is hard. Not drinking is easy at first, but until you accept that you will be sober and that is your best choice in life, odds are you will struggle. I failed 14 times because I refused to accept the never drink again part and that denial almost killed me. I hope you find that inner voice that says this is your best choice and make it happen. Good luck Lisa!
Welcome to the community @Lisa_Lee. Everyone has already given most of the advice that I could possibly think of to offer.
The only other thing that I have to say from my experiences so far piggybacks off what @Vig said in his post about slowing down. I always say that the thing that has helped me the most is this:
Take it one sober day at a time, one sober night at a time.
Don’t stress yourself out by thinking about staying sober tomorrow or the day after or next week or next month. That is too much; especially for those of us with anxiety. Just focus on staying sober for today and before you know it the days will add up.
Thank you @Nordique!! You nailed it. I suffer from anxiety and self medicate with alcohol to mainly relax and unwind. I’ve tried meds and just couldn’t find something that worked for me so instead of trying for a 3rd year I threw my hands up and grabbed a bottle . Which in all reality makes my anxiety worse.
I will definitely try to take it one day at a time. One night at a time if need be that day.
I remember the early days of sobriety and how difficult it was to “just be.” I couldn’t sit down for any amount of time without thinking, “a drink would make this so much better.” But that is a lie that kept me drinking for so many years…well after the party was over and no fun was left to be had.
The best thing I did was learn to accept that I would be uncomfortable, and that was ok. Nothing was more uncomfortable than “living” with active addiction and all the mental and physical repercussions that came along with it. I kept very busy, ate way too much dessert, and spent hours upon hours reading on this forum. I was kind to myself and was willing to forgive my many shortcomings as long as I didn’t pick up…I had many hard days but it only made my resolve that much stronger. Today I sit here 440 days sober and happier than I’ve ever been in my life. I am brought to tears frequently at the grace I’ve been given and the life I never knew I could have. God helped me find my will and I ran with it you can do the same! Congratulations and wishing you many blessings on your journey through sobriety
Yep that is exactly why I drank too. I’ve found that my anxiety is much easier to manage now that I’m sober. It’s probably half of what it used to be.
I also learned that much more of my anxiety than I realized was actually caused by alcohol itself.
It’s a vicious and ironic cycle because we drink to stop the anxiety and the alcohol actually makes the anxiety worse, so then we drink even more. It gets worse and worse until the “That’s it” moment happens.