@Rob68 
wow! Huge slip up by your broker, crap! Sorry! Hang in there.
Totally threw me. No coffee?
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That is a fab read! You’ll really enjoy that. 
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Well I’m checking in at day 27.
Many of you know that I’ve been wanting to act out quite a bit this past week.
My Lock Me Out app recently received an update and the developer removed a feature that took away from it’s value. Previously, I could hide the app during lockout periods. Not anymore. Now, I’m able to open it. And although I’m not able to edit an existing lockout, the app does allow me to tamper with future lockouts. Not good.
As a result, there were some moments this past week that I was websurfing on my phone. This is crossing a middle circle boundary for me. The only thing that saved me from relapse was Covenant Eyes. And I don’t want to depend solely on CE to keep me sober.
The new version of CE takes random pictures of screen shots every couple of minutes. Theres a lot of opportunity for one to take a quick peek at porn undetected. I wish that CE would offer the choice of having both screen accountability and internet site accountability, but they only offer one or the other. I’m going to make that recommendation to them.
So for a workaround, I’ve installed a second app blocker to block Lock Me Out. They’re blocking each other now. And I won’t be doing any sneaky stuff online anymore. I cannot be trusted on the web, ever.
My pattern lately is that I start desiring to act out more and more once afternoon starts and the cravings get seriously intense into the night with less desire to reach out for help. Then I wake up in the morning all in clarity and grateful God helped me to stay sober another day.
The good news is I’m waking up wanting to be sober. The desire is there. Although, one part of me wants to act out, another part of me wants to change.
This war within me has lasted for over 25 years. And it may last for the rest of my life. But I’m not giving up. That’s for sure. I’m in clarity now. I’ve not been desiring or craving for the past 24 hours. I know that I need to stop acting out, forever. It’s never acceptable for me to use porn or a stripper or a prostitute or any other form of sexual acting out. It’s a dead end for me, and I will never be happy going down that road.
Getting close to 30 days. The last time I acted out at 27.4 days. How could I blow it when I was so close to a month? That thought never crossed my mind. But I will not go down easy this time. I refuse to fall when I’m so close to one month. I will not start this new year in defeat.
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Finally, perfect harmony has been restored. Thank you.
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I tend to only post my coffee to the sunshine 
thread as my good morning to all the champions who will wake up later (or go to bed seeing it… LOL)
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I’m not a coffee drinker but some of them posts make me think I’m missing out.
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Woo hoo! Congrats on 90 days @Axsis!
I’m actually on my way to a meeting to get my 90 day chip. Keep up the nice work.
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3 cheers for Lisa, hip hip hooray, hip hip hooray, hip hip hooray.
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I’m home after long trip, traveling with kids all day. I didn’t drink. I have been eating more than usual but I think it will even out as long as it’s mindful eating and doesn’t become a new compulsion. It’s so nice to be home. I have my beautiful old cat here welcoming me and I’m grateful. No beer to celebrate being home, and for now, that feels ok.
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Not a big fan of new years resolutions but my goal is to get back to checking in here multiple times a day. I was doing better when I was.
Also need the secret to how you all are able to reply with wonderful advice to multiple posters in one post…my memory is shit and I always have to go one by one 
Got my repeat liver function results back today and they are back to normal. Isnt it fucked up I saw that as a reason to buy a bottle of wine? Havent opened it and going to give it to my husband to dump out.
I know I need more support…I’ve looked at all AA meetings here and none fit my schedule between work and kids. I’m also confused with the names of different meetings and who is 'allowed’to attend ie some are mens or womens only or bible study or some other focus.
What are some good online programs I can work through?
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Keep up the good work 
, I got two months and ready I’m seeing life in a new way ,I wouldn’t trade this for even the most expensive bottle of liqour 
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Day 9 down! Almost back to double digits!
Went back to work today and man, the drama and stress ugh! It totally sucks.
The stories I have, would make you wanna drink.
I’m usually good on workdays. Friday is where I have trouble.
Gonna deadlift today 
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Day 68.
Saw my Dr. today. Officially have the Flu (and possibly a uti… to be determined…turns out I can’t pee on demand).
Also doubled my Fluoxetine script.
Fun times.
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Congrats on the 68 days! So sorry about the flu and the UTI, but atleast with some rest and a good antibiotic those will go away. I wish addiction was that easy to cure!
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Thank you 
and yes, if only!! 
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Keep taking it one day at a time @KevinesKay I know you are working hard to maintain sobriety and I applaud you for taking extra measures to keep yourself accountable. I encourage you to keep posting here and reaching out to whoever you need to stay sober!
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