Checking in. Day 2 again. I really liked the visualization comment from Alex. I’m capable and I can take control of my life today. I have the power to simply say no!
Have a great day everyone!
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Starting day 2. I keep wondering what my problem is. When I decide to get sober, it’s so easy until it isn’t. Duh.
I think I know some of my problem. I have very deep sadness mixed with mega gratitude. So, I feel guilty for being sad about what I’ve been through. I focus on gratitude only. Then the result is me sticking my sadness back down and refuse to acknowledge it. But it’s in there making me sicker and sicker because I refuse to feel it. I cried very hard yesterday afternoon and it really felt good.
I have untreated PTSD and TBI. The combination it’s somewhat scary. I can’t afford treatment. So I’ll need to find a work around. I’m going to allow myself some time to work through what is making me sad and write about it a little, perhaps journal daily.
If you read this novel, thank you and congrats to everyone with one day to a zillion days sober! We have today!! 
It’s our choice to make it a great one!!
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Thanks man. I usually feel the same but for some reason its got to me recently. Its disapointing as most things are going well right now. Im focusing too much on the few things im not happy with rather than celebrating the wins. Typical of me.
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Checking in day 164.
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Hey @TMAC you know we’re here whenever you need us.
I’ve had similar thoughts a few times… How do you say what you’ve already said? Don’t forget that you’re allowed to ‘take’ as well as give! Something I have to learn as well. Also that posting pictures of Chief and Pearl very much counts as giving something to the community 
I’m glad you posted because I thought of you the other day. I saw a little dog (pretty sure a Boston Terrier) chasing a ball over the field near my house. It was going SO FAST! I didn’t think something so little could move like that 
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Day 44 - Proud of my commitment despite struggling with some depression.
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Day 29 LET’S DO THIS!!!
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Had to chuckle to myself this afternoon. I spoke to a colleague last week who asked, if they suggest getting me booze as a leaving gift, do I want her to say anything. I said it’s fine, it’s not a secret.
Got an email today - random question, do you drink alcohol?
I’ve been out on a few work dos and have mentioned it. Certainly not kept it secret. Just goes to show how little most people care to the point they don’t even notice!
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Checking on day 27. Day 3 of my first sober vacation. AM coffee on the dock because I’m not too hung over to do it!!! Happy sober Monday all
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30 day!! Nice!!!
Negative self-talk is one of things where I have to actually out loud tell myself Just Stop and move on to doing and thinking about other things because it’s of no benefit. You will find a balance, but your sobriety comes first and then I believe things will fall in place. 
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This was the final hurdle for me. I had to see that I couldn’t do this alone. I needed help, I needed to begin the task of working the steps and getting them on paper. I needed to share them with someone. I needed sponsorship. Otherwise I am doomed to forget the work or forget the pain that comes after the brief bliss. It was the final step of letting go of my ego. It was letting go of my idea that I have the intelligence and will to get me where I need to go. Truth is, not every problem can be solved by analyzing every detail to death. I was overthinking when what I needed to do was share the feelings with others to see that I couldn’t think my way out of it or figure out a procedure so that those feelings never happened again.
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Day 950 without a drink and decided today will be day 1 without weed. Going to be interesting.
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Day 43.
Nearly finished painting the house this weekend. Just a few touch ups left to do.
My wife has been doing therapy and I have been attending telemeetings fairly regularly. I feel like there’s less of a dark cloud hanging over us and she’s more willing to express herself around me. I suppose you could say emotional intimacy is improving. This has only been a month and it feels like I’m further than I was at 317 days of abstaining from inner circle behaviors.
My son started preschool today. He was so excited and confident and I was so proud of him. I felt some accomplishment that he feels secure enough to venture into this stage without any tears or fears. I’m thankful for that transition because I know tough days will come as we adjust to the new schedule. What a milestone. Being a parent isn’t always a joy, but today when he was running to get in the door I was so grateful to be present.
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Day 6.5 it’s Monday and I’m feeling a bit blah. I don’t feel like drinking but I still feel I’m missing some type of pick me up so maybe I’ll go get a coffee, I feel like I need a treat lol . Anyway going to get dressed and get out of the house so I don’t waste the whole day feeling blah!!
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here I am! Needing this now.
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Checking in.
Really didn’t want to come back in this manner. Last week relapsed on Meth and Heroin. Sun-Thurs, like once I took the first hit I kept telling myself I’ll stop but I gotta(fill in the blank)… kept coming up with different reasons for why I needed to continue. Things were going well, meetings daily, gym but I wasn’t doing enough elsewhere.
Still at a loss for why I went out. I haven’t had a chance really to reflect on it, I’m 4 days clean. Between withdrawing and detoxing I haven’t had much to think on it. I really don’t know what else to say right now, and I appreciate the messages while I was away. Thank you
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Missed you here Daniel. Happy to see you posting. Stay here. Stay clean.
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Hello everyone…starting Day 1 again. I’m in so much pain…only way is up from here.
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Good to see you back man and props for getting right back at it 
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