What’s the difference?
When I’m not doing anything I have time to think about drinking so I might as well have one because I’ve got nothing better to do. If I fill my day with things to do I don’t even think about drinking. Actually reading that back I think boredom is more of a trigger and what I’m trying to say is I don’t have to drink because I’m bored. Anyways I hope you’re doing well today.
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Not writing high but Zero sobriety
I am just continuing to spiral and I really don’t care. I’m used to the pain. I don’t know if i want to draw it out over time. I’ve been having a continuous nagging thought since this morning. I slept in my car again for idk how many in a row. I was out of dope, I wanted to do right. So I logged it. It just starts to feel like everything is too much. The funny and sad truth is I get paid tomorrow and that nagging thought that’s been going on might get accomplished.
Your fucked when your back to being okay giving in. I learned to hate myself, I was taught to hate myself.
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Boredom and learning to relax are my triggers. Now when I am bored I eat sweets. I would go to drinking to make myself relax bc i try to stay constantly busy. But lately i am just overwhelmed and tired . It’s like all or nothing.
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Oh yes food has never been so good. its not that I think I’m eating too much its probably what I should be eating. When I was drinking I could go 3 or 4 days without a hot meal. Just make sure you throw the odd bit of fruit in there.
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Do one goal a week. Work on one thing.
Day 3. Still here. 
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Pro Tip: when you text your coworker to talk shit about your upper management, be sure it’s not on a group chat with your boss on the thread… whoops
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I hope that is the case for us.
I’m putting a lot of eggs in this basket, at the moment. 
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Agreed on all points.
I told her last night that she needs to grieve.
Thanks Mitch
Still praying for the best possible outcome for you, Cade. Your trudging forward through this process has been so gutsy. I hope that IOP gives you some valuable lessons and I hope it tips the scales in your favor.
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Time will tell, my friend.
Whatever comes to pass, life will go on.
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My man Chicago T, congrats on 300+1 days of beating the demon alcohol, keep it up my friend…
I’m realizing now we are 100 days apart on our quests…onward we go…
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This is a challenge to unlearn this feeling.
Every time we make a good choice for ourselves, care about the next thing we do, we get a little bit closer.
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Thank you so much @aircircle!! Been seeing lots of neat shorebirds down here but forgot my bird book!
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Thank you so much Joy!! Best to you!
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You are very wise about feelings/truth Ariel. Very hard to separate those sometimes.
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Afternoon check-in.
Heard a story today on the radio about the Canadian flag. I did not realize the current flag was not approved until 1965. Amazing what we use to divert our thoughts from our DOC 
Middle of day 12
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Day 84
Not too bad a sleep, took the little one too school with my missus
Squats, sit ups, kettle bells, cycling, & stretch/twists all upped a notch or 10 lol
Yoga restorative to unwind
Meditation to relax the mind
Sorted out the house and chores
Bit of self maintenance with the beard gone and a PAWS shower (been doing every 10 days found it on some site, start off with a hot shower & keep your head under and at the end 30 seconds under the cold shower, quite refreshing lol!)
Nice conversation with an old work colleague, he picked up my mood and I picked up his, loads of banter & scouse humour
Went to visit the mother in law with my missus, lots of hugs and tlc with the fall/seizure yesterday and seems more like herself today and a bit more back colour in her face
Back and picked up the little one up who had a very good day in school
Just been for my CBT Workshop and found it very useful in how to manage my worries and jot it down to leave till a set time daily and not fester in your head constantly, start putting into practice from tomorrow
Home for a nice dinner and then some chill time with the missus & a movie, after the little one is tucked in
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