- That’s my area code! Small joys here and needed badly. I feel like everything going on right now is manageable BUT…I also feel like a pot of water waiting to boil. The lid is partly on and rattles every now and then with the threat of everything boiling over but then recedes. Taking one day ( almost 1 hour) at a time right now but struggling. I will talk with my boss next week about working from home 2 days/week as my work environment is toxic right now. As always thanks peeps for reading!
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Whoops 205 today not 204
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I am back… I had a pretty bad couple of months and I feel pretty awkward about that but here I am on day 3 of actively working on recovery
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Day 8
Man, I went to the bank and deposited my last paycheck from that job I quit.
My mind began telling me how weak I am. Told me I am all washed up. That I will never make that kind of money again. That Ive spent all my time and effort bettering my fiance and that I will always be nothing. I had this awful feeling.
It took everything in me to put on my damn shoes and go run! 1.6 miles later, I have to say that I am a beast! I am strong… that beating this addiction was harder than childbirth, but I am doing it! And I wont give up. And I will never allow myself to work somewhere that makes me feel so horrible about myself ever again!!
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Well the good news is, I wasn’t fired. The bad news is, I still have a job!!! 
I shouldn’t joke, I am blessed to have this job and so I should show my gratitude.
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I understand totally! 
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Week 130 
My very first AA meeting (and my sobriety date) was Monday March 6, 2017. It was an “As Bill Sees It” meeting.
Went to that same meeting this past Monday. I always like to switch my counter to weeks when I hit that meeting… just to see
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Day 13 complete and working on day 14 here. Absolutely couldn’t fall asleep last night - even with pharmaceutical help. Working on about 5 hours of sleep. Going to my first social event as a non drinker after work today. My coworkers know I’ve quit so that should be fine. Not much temptation there. But I am already thinking about how 2 weeks ago I would be stopping at the store on the way home to buy a bottle of wine to have to myself later tonight. My husband works late Wednesday nights and it’s my toughest night of the week. I don’t know what to do with myself tonight if I’m not just going to sit on the couch and “relax” with a drink. Or six. Need to find something to do before it’s time for bed (which can’t come soon enough). Will y’all hold me accountable to not cave tonight?
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Of course we will pal. Just don’t pick up that first drink. No matter what! Have a plan for tonight. A plan if someone offers you a drink. An escape plan if needed. And of course, a plan to sneak a TS visit if ya need.
Someone much wiser than me once said, “if you Fail to plan then you plan to fail”
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We’ll be here, or someone will be. You can do this. Just don’t think about it.
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Good luck. Whatever that is
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I need a plan for when I get home. Guess I need to make a To Do list to keep me occupied until DH gets home. And I need to commit to not stopping and buying anything on the way home. There is no alcohol in my house so if I can make it home I should be good.
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You could always try hitting a meeting. When my wife and kids are off doing something that’s usually my go to. Followed closely by a nice long bike ride. Or if I am feeling really frisky, I’ll ride my bike to a meeting.
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How many meetings are going on where you live? It sounds awesome that when you have a ‘gap’ you can go to one. Is that just about ‘experience and understanding’ about meeting locations? Or do you sometimes just go a lot out of your way to go to one?
Checking in
Day 9.
Today is my last full day here in Texas. My flight back is tomorrow afternoon. So I’m making the most of it.
I’m sober, I’m happy and if the worst thing that happens to me today is sunburn… well, that’s a win in my book. 
I hope everyone of you have found a reason to smile this afternoon.
(Edit: just got stung in the calf by a wasp while at the pool… still a good day though.)
In case you haven’t heard it today
YOU’RE AWESOME & I LOVE YOU 
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Unfortunately I’m so new at this I haven’t looked into local meetings. I also don’t want to leave my kiddo at home alone. I think I’ll be ok. But I probably need to do some research on meetings in the area.
We have about 440 AA meetings per week. Earliest is 6 am. Latest is 11. Lotta alcoholic folk in Syracuse
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Well shit!!! That’s the best reason I’ve heard re: moving to Syracuse 
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- Just got home from my home team’s football match. I never noticed how much beer actually is drunk during a game. I noticed tonight. Although I never drank much during games I was actually triggered quite a bit. Luckily I just told my uncle, who has season tickets and invites me a couple of times a year, I quit all and am very happy to be clean and sober. So no way I could have one after I told him that. Love to be clean and sober. Good night from Amsterdam.
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Do you like snow?
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