Checking in day 184.
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Celebrating day 195.
Grateful I was sober today. Went to church. Spent time with my.daughters. worked at a gig tonight.
And still mulling over chapter 6 of This Naked Mind. Still working on a response with how it applies to me and my porn addiction.
This, so far has been a good process for me. Really looking forward to the potential growth I see in the next upcoming months. Meanwhile, I have to stay vigilant and do every thing I can to STAY SOBER. The 6 month mark is a very triggering time in my recovery. A relapse would be costly. I did not come this far just to only come this far.
The craving is still there, but not as much today. Thanks everyone.
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Checking in day 69. Looking forward to all the new in store for this week! Peace & Blessings to you all!
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Enter a Business Lunch with maybe 7 or 8 people.
The Restaurant Starts Serving us with someone else’s Order.
As a Regret they offer us all a Round of Free beer.
Everyone at the table looks at each Other and is Mum.
I say make mine a Corona.Everyone look at each other,i hear a murmur,Should we be drinking at a Business Lunch? I say you never say no to a free beer.They smile and all agree.
When lunch was being served i ordered for one more beer. Everyone gives me the stare. Suddenly a dog starts barking. My eyes open its 6 am.
The dream or Should i say the Nightmare is over.
Day 19 begins 
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- Happy Monday everyone
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- Coffee. 3 More days of work left before my holidays. These last ones are always hard. My sobriety is good. But I need to find a way to work it that works for me. I’m just too busy at the moment with work, friendships, workouts. At least I can take care of business. Sober and clean. How much better life is sober and clean. Have a good week all! Love from Amsterdam where autumn has begun. @Kitty welcome here Kitty! Try us out for a while. This is a great place for support and to research for yourself what being sober could mean for you. Or not. It’s been a great help to me in the last 4 months that’s for sure.
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Hi Jane, thank you for your reply to my post! I am glad my journey can help others, that makes it even more worthwhile 
I also wanted to say… I know how you are feeling right now!, I was there too, and it was around my day 50 that I was feeling pretty low/frustrated cause I just wanted to feel how I thought I “should” feel. For me, it was a bit of PAWS I think. and also I just needed to become aware of my mindset and make an effort to move it from frustrated and expectant to more acceptant and positive. I started to be mindful of my thoughts, and my surroundings and ensure I was attracting the posotive, joyous life I want, in the present moment. I decided to choose not be so hard on myself, to surrender to what I’m feeling, rather than resist it. This made it easier to just ‘be’ and accept who I am and how I am, and know, that each day I am trying my best, to be better and do better and to consciously think about how great it is to actually be sober! Getting out into the sunshine and eating nourishing healthy food helped a lot also : ) you’re doing great, give yourself props for your achievements because you deserve them. and, have a fabulous day! 
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Hi @Kitty and welcome here! 🙋
I never got a ticket, never late at work, never drank in the morning, never got the shakes, but I’m still a alcoholic 
If I would have kept on drinking all those things above will come eventually. Just quit on time to prevent them from happening.
There are online meetings you can follow like those from SMART. And be here much, it helps! I’m here since my day one.
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I relapsed this weekend… Back to day zero.
I was 27 days sober and I don’t know why I let this happen… I let the voice in my head suggesting drinking wine on Saturday evening, I let the words get out of my mouth… and then all was back again, my brain working endlessly to find ways to have a refill, concentrating only on it. This feeling, thoses thoughts were instantly back !
While Hubby had 2 glasses (I forced him to have the 2nd one as it justified me having more), I drank the rest of the bottle. I have even explained that I prefered to have the rest immediatly instead of tomorrow as it was a way to have a Sober Sunday… Funny how stupid I can be…
It was NOT a sober Sunday. I have had 2 glasses of hot wine “because I was cold”.
All this happened beacause I let it be a possibility. I almost had 1 month sober (less 2 days). And this is was what I had promised to Hubby. The famous “1 month” : we call it “mineral tour” here. But it was only because I didn’t want him to understand how much an alcoholic I am. He doesn’t really know or doesn’t really want to face it… So when the voice suggested drinking, the other voice, the one that should have say no, was in the far back of my head, mutted…
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Don’t know yet. Still feel agitated and not totally awake. But I slept fine, that’s a big plus 
Started my day with coffee, light lamp and 5-htp supplement. So doing all I can to turn it around.
Thank you for asking Ludo, much appreciated! 
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Why are you reading those books if your vulnerable for it? Just curious
And I want a dimmer switch too! I’m a on or off person too. I think a lot of addicts are
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Good day everyone. day19 alcohol but back to day 0 weed. I slept a bit better though, really needed it. I must admit the high I got from my one joint before bed wasn’t a nice as I wanted it to be so not to fussed about it now. I’ll have to find a better solution for sleeping next time. It was as stupid as saying I’m going to have a beer because I’m thirsty. Be Strong guys, we will beat this.
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I’ve been were you are and my partner does’t understand it either. He isn’t addicted to anything, so doesn’t know how it feels. I try to explain those battling voices in my head and he says he understand. But later on he suggest if I would like to try moderation again 
So I’m here for support and to suround me with people who do understand. You all are my back up. I relapsed after 5 years sober because I thought I was cured after all those sober years.
Just after the first glass the voices in my head were right back at me. That was ones one of the reasons why I quit: I wanted my head back for me! I’ve got myself back on track again. You can do so too! Rely on yourself and use this app frequently. Let go the wish your partner will 100% understand you, because that will not happen. You have to do it yourself, but he can support you by not offer you drinks and so on.
Let’s do it @WannaBeSoberMom! Let’s be the best sober mom we can be!!
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Off to work again, laters
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Going in to day 3. I won’t drink today 
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Day 331 and checking in , I hope you all had a great weekend
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Thank you for your kind words x I’m so sorry for the loss of your mum. Mental illness is a sneaky disease, my niece and I talk quite in depth about it. Especially in the case of my sister. After her passing there was a very hard inquest. I had absolutely no idea that my sister was so poorly. Ten years plus the police and mental health people had been feeling with her. She was covered head to toe (but really well hidden) self harm… it was awful. My niece now lives with her dad (my sis ex husband) and he is quite a big drinker. I knew she worried about how much I was drinking so I have been open and honest with her how shitty and addictive alcohol is and about my new sobriety. I hope and pray she comes out of this terrible time not a damaged woman. Thanks for listening @Jane.c… I wish you well on your journey 
xx
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Thanks for caring… everyone on this forum is so kind. I wish you well on your journey, stay strong and together we will beat addiction! Xxx
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@Fargesia_murielae @SoberWalker @keiti Thank you for your support and
encouraging words…
This relapse is not the end of my sober journey. I will continue to work on being a sober mom for my kids, my family… and for me.
Today is a new day. I do not know how to silence that damn voice forever … I do not even know if it’s possible. In any case, I must learn to stop letting her take control …
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It is possible to silence the voice. But it takes time and for me the occasional argument with myself when it was trying to coax me into drinking. These days it’s hardly ever heard!
It helps to change how you view alcohol. We are not missing out on anything and I told myself over and over that I no longer drink.
Mindset is so important.
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