Checking in day 37…
OK… I’m going to try to make s very long story short. My 22 year old daughter is in a very emotionally abusive relationship, where this person is her puppermaster. She is otherwise extremely strong capable, intelligent, and independent. Amongst other things, she’s just amazing. However, on Sunday, she posted a public rant on Facebook about how she is cutting me out of her life completely. She completely embellished on details and it was a strict attention move that hurts me both personally and professionally.
Embellishment 1. I threatened to throw out everything she owns. Truth: I gave her two months to get her stuff over to her boyfriend’s or her storage unit as we were closing on June 29th, final walk through Thursday June 28th. She tells me she can’t do it until Tuesday June 26th. Fine, we moved stuff around to make this last minute attempt work. Tried getting s hold of her all day, finally, on Tuesday evening she tells me she can’t do it because her boyfriend doesn’t “feel like it” so we need to do it another day. There is no other day!!! I said if she does not come by, we will have no choice but to put the furniture (which is all mine by the way) up for free to get rid of it. She then threatened to call the cops .Ok… it’s MY stuff though, so?? She also went on to say Fuck you, you are dead to me. Anyway, because I’m such s sucker for this kid, my husband and I pulled an all nighter to put the stuff in her storage unit by ourselves. She knows this because she had to give us the gate code and combo to the unit.
Embellishment #2. I threatened to put her dog in a shelter. Truth: well I don’t even know where this once came from??? I have been fos6her dog for over a year, I’m only allowed to have 2 animals at my new place, so I told her she needed to take her dog (her boyfriend won’t let her have it at his place) or find her a temporary foster home until she has her own place which she’s been talking about. My hands were tied, I was not going to give up one of my pets for this.
Embellishment #3. She thanked her boyfriend for a place to rest her head while she’s displaced. Truth: She’s paying his rent and acting as his chauffer because the jackass has no job! I got her a room at my apartment and begged her to come back home. She just doesn’t like where I live because it’s too far away from her boyfriend. So she refuses to live here.
A few family members went on to defend me and she further went on to claim physical and mental abuse. I have never, EVER put my hands on that child or done anything other than build her up. I have no idea where this is coming from. I was not perfect, I drank her whole life. She also accused me of being an alcoholic for as far back as she can remember. That part is true and I own that. These are all very serious accusations and right now I don’t know if I can forgive this.
The truth is that she has been horrifically mean to me and a bully for years. and I want her to live me back so badly I allow it. I have now created this mean, and entitled monster. I can’t go into all because this would turn into a novel.
However, I revolved my life around this child. When she was little I worked 2 jobs and took 21 credits a semester as a dual enrolled computer and electrical engineering student. I was a single mom and worked my ass off to give her stuff that the other kids with Daddy’s had. I loved every second of her childhood and there are nothing but beautiful memories. I don’t know where this anger is coming from. It’s literally only when she’s with this guy. Otherwise we love each and live spending time together. A month ago she was literally attached to my hip.
I love this kid more than anything. The love you have for children is so different than any other kind of love. My heart is breaking into a million pieces. She’s cursing at me, calling me names, being extremely cruel. I just want my baby back. She was my reason for everything for so long. I don’t have the words to Express how much this hurts. It’s like I can’t breathe.
I babbled enough. Hope it makes sense. This is the short version of what’s going on. My 2 biggest fears are that she believes her own lies. And that the people reading these posts believe it. My 12 year old is confused as hell. She’s furious with her sister because of this. I don’t want this to ruin what they have either. But truth be told. The 22 year old can be horrible to the little one. There is a meanness there that I don’t understand.
ETA: But I’m making it through SOBER! As of now, there has been no desire to drink. If it crosses my mind, it’s easily pushed back out. It would make this so much worse.