I’m seriously considering a Miata in the spring
Do it! I went all out and bought a Focus ST last year and I love it! Everyone deserves something nice!
But more seriously, coming up to 2 years ago in Feb, I packed in a career and life in London and moved back to Maine after 15 years away. Maybe it’s kind of the opposite, but still in a similar vein. I was miserable and felt like I was wasting my life in the rat race. I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what I would feel - joy and regret - if I or people I loved were dying. It sounds morbid, but it was what I needed to do to figure out what I might want with my life.
Lately I’ve been thinking that had I gotten sober in London I may not have had to pack in that career or life. Then I realise, I wasn’t ready to get sober then and couldn’t have done it. I would have found myself in a pit of self hatred and constant relapse. For me, it took turning my life upside down to then find the time and space to find myself. 2 years later it is still a work in progress, but I’m a lot happier and healthier emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually.
I still don’t know where my life is going or where I’ll end up, but I do know I’m in the right place right now. And maybe I’ll get a Miata and a tattoo at some point.
Yup! It’s not a matter of sadness or discontent but what if! I feel like I’ve crossed an entire ocean of time, only to end up where I started, and while I’m satisfied, I cant help but wonder, what else could lie beyond that horizon!
I hope that strikes me. Been in & out for over 25 years. You’d think I’d get sick of liking the short term buzz for a day or twos worth of pain & anxiety.
One thing seems true- I can’t process booze like I used to. I drink one night and I’m like freaking paying for it for two days getting out of system. That has changed. My wife says she smells it on me the next day and I just drank like a pint.
Hiding it has become a burden so I just need to recognize defeat.
I’ve been having some of these ideas too. I’ve always tied myself down to Maine but the world is a big place with a lot of possibilities! Once my son graduates, I want to travel and see more. I want to go see the beauty of all the different places! I still don’t know exactly what I want to do with my life when I grow up, but I feel like following my passions will help guide me.
Big and bold changes can either bring great opportunity, or an appreciation of what we already have. Either way, it can bring great opportunities.
What is a Miata? Do I need one? I can’t help feeling I made a lot of decisions when I was not in a very good place, drinking that is. And I often wonder how different my life would be if I had just been rational and level headed. Sometimes wonder how on earth I ended up here. Not that here is bad, it just kind of happened.
- Returned to work after being off for two weeks. Work/night shift kicked my ass, but it felt good to be back. Was able to read chapters 3 & 4 of Codependent No More on my lunch break and have started to really get into it and can now relate/identify my cause and areas that need improvement. Hoping I have some down time tonight answer the questions at the end of each chapter to share with the book club folks. Hope everyone is having a wonderful, sober day ️
Awww that’s wonderful. Congratulations
Day 1 sober. No comment
When my youngest is done with school, I think I want to Forrest Gump it and walk coast to coast. I’m thinking that would be pretty rad.
13 days to go for one year (365) sober. Soooo looking forward to it. So happy and proud of my achievements as I’ve worked hard for this. To be happier in myself and to support my family. Looking forward to seeing what the future brings.
- Morning started off like a stubbed toe. 30 minutes into work, I was pissed. Then out of nowhere came that little voice thinking I could moderate…wtf? Where did that come from. Shut that voice down, but was still feeling on edge. I was at work, cant go to a meeting, cant call a sober buddy. So I had a choice, live a sober life, or be a dry drunk and show my ass to my coworkers. Deep breath, a little prayer, some thinking about the steps, and talking to myself about being a better person. I made it through, and didnt think about alcohol rest the day…even at 250 days, alcohol can still be a cunning heartless bastard. Life is good, sober for another day.
Had a great sleep, and I’m feeling so grateful and full today! I needed this after feeling down after so long. I’d feel good about my sober future, but discouraged about the present because of symptoms and emotions I’m working through. Maybe it could be a random good day, or maybe my efforts to be more positive are starting to pay dividends, either way I’ll take it!
Checking in Day 70…
Today was so, so, so bitter cold and windy in PA.
Somehow, we finished the Job so I’m on my way home from Somerset.
I don’t know if HOSS’S is an East coast restaurant but I’m tearing up that Soup/ Salad Bar as soon as we get to Bedford. Hopefully there is some Beef & Barley or Ham & Bean soup while I’m waiting for my Entree!!!
Hope every still has feeling in there toes and fingertips If you work Construction! Of course as always, Hope everyone had a great day Sober!!!
Yeah, it gets exhausting after a while. I don’t know what it was. But I keep saying it was like when Forrest Gump just stopped running I just stopped mid drunk. Years and years of failed attempts. Multiple long term attempts in AA in three different states. I wish I had some magical answer and I’ll never be so cocky as to say I have it licked. But for today, I do.
Day 70 - Hi Everyone Hows everyone doing today? Absolutely exhausted after a 14hr shift. A couple days ago I burned a line in my left thumb on the bottom of a lava-hot bain marie. Today, I was chopping some red cabbage at approximately 4,000,000 miles an hour and somehow clipped the burn. Ouch!!
Weirdly enough, today is the first day since going sober where Ive been able to think with complete clarity and not get angry/stroppy over minor details - did anyone else experience around the same time?
Hope everyones killing it today!
Yes sir. Right around day 60, I felt things shift into a different gear. Definitely a change around that point.
Edit: also, sorry about your thumb.
Thanks for this - it’s these types of shares that remind me of the importance of not just abstaining from alcohol, but of doing the work and developing the coping skills to manage whatever life throws at us with Grace.