Day 4 and it is a perfect day for me to drink. I have the day all to myself, husband is away on business, granddaughter dropped off at daycare and staying elsewhere tonight. However today I am choosing not to drink. I gassed up where they don’t sell liquor, I made it out of the market without any wine or beer, and I plan to go to AA this evening. I’ll busy myself today grooming pets, bedding down stalls, cooking, laundry, cleaning, reading. I’m determined.
Good morning friends! Have a great day!
Been distance between myself and my best friend. Not so sure we’re such good friends since I no longer drink. Drinking was what we mainly did together, and a lot of it. Today is her birthday. I suggested we go to a movie. In past, we would have spent the day day drinking. I’ve seen her once in 100 days. Talked to her maybe 5 times. Awkward. Kinda makes me sad, because she sounds better and is making new friends and I believe it’s because she’s no longer on the crazy train I’d been driving. I feel guilty about having been a bad influence, but know she made her own choices.
I’m a natural born leader, and that can go in good or bad directions. I guess on flip side, maybe it makes me glad I’m not such a bad influence anymore, so she too can move fwd.
Might see a second movie tonight, “A Beautiful Boy”. Scared to watch it, but want to see it, because it’s about addiction and family dynamics surrounding it. Will hit me hard, because my brother is in such bad shape. I’ll be viewing that beautiful boy as my brother. Anyway, I’m rambling thru day 100.
Day three. Did some inventory work last night, added things to what I already had. I think the reason why this time I’ll do better is because I feel like a shroud of denial has been pulled away. I’m having a hard time looking at what’s under there.
Happy birthday! Treat yourself why not!!!
That’s an interesting insight. I too have been distant, but my best friend in particular seems to be avoiding me, even before I quit. Was I the bad influence? Reviewing my texts, it was always me asking “McC’s?” (Our bar). This is shattering my whole world.
Checking in ! Stressful day but I guess there will be a few more of them to come. Gonna hit that stress with some physical activity and get some feel good endorphins.
Day 103. I feel like garbage. I’ve tried to apply all the techniques to getting out of complete anger, but it wins every time. I’ve learned to control my reactions but it’s like I just internalize it more and feel fucked. I just need someone to tell me I’ll be ok! I’m trying…
One whole week sober! Haven’t done this for a few years now. Today has ended on a slight down compared to yesterday, but life is all about ups and downs! Though last week, feeling like this, I would have brought some drink home. So there’s a plus. 3 more days and I’m in double figures so hey, next will be a fortnight. Bring it on!!
You’ll be OK. You’re figuring it out. You have not given up nor given in. I’m sorry you feel bad. I hope it passes soon. Any chance you can take a nap?
You know you will be. So you got angry. I nearly lost it this morning at the garage when I accidentally knocked someone’s paperwork off the side and he gave me a filthy look. I didn’t even realise I had done it. It must have blown off the shelf as I walked past. I had a little laugh with the bloke behind the checkout and went out. Moved my car off the pump and had managed to wind myself up, so went back in in a real temper. The guy who had upset me had gone. I walked out seething and would probably bought some drink but I just sucked hard on my vape and drive to work.
Thank you! You will for sure get there.
Amen to feeling fucked. Learning how to halt the usual reactions, sometimes enough piled up I felt spiritually constipated. My old ways wouldn’t do so I did my best to let go, find better places to dwell, make amends. With time and rest, later amazed as those woes either improved without me or answers became clear.
You will be ok. Peace, my homie.
Congrats, triple digits! All the best to you and your bestie. It sounds as though you’re both doing well.
Wow, so on .
I don’t know how to go to the emotional bathroom!!!
(Analogy is gross but works real well)
A nap is a good idea. No but I will rest as much as I can. Thanks ️
Day 4 about to end.
Very hard today on work, can’t concentrate. Any ideas what might help with being focused?
Took a long hot bath after work to stop my mind from exploding literaly.
I want to relax and can’t turn my brain off.
Don’t feel like drinking, just muting my thougths.
Have a great one yall.
Checking in on day 10. I have some support, but I don’t really have a sober fAAmily yet.
10 days ago I totaled my truck, injured another driver, totaled their vehicle and went to jail. My BAC was 0.16.
I was released 48 hours later and have been trying to maintain sobriety, and sanity, ever since. I’ve been to 5 meetings in the last 8 days. They help.
Today on the way into work, I blew a radiator hose and am currently at the repair shop, fixing wife’s car and missing work.
I’m just scared, all the time now, but I surrender myself to a higher power and pray.
I just need you guys today.
Thanks for being here.
Fog brain is the worst! Hang in there, it will pass real soon. I don’t know of anyway to make it better, but having frequent alone time and doing some breathing exercises may help stay sane while this passes.