Day 3 and Im still here… this cold came out of no where feeling like absolute garbage today…
Day three here. We can do this together.
I took every approach to communicate with him. At one point we even made a fun chart together with duties called “How to be a better husband”. It included juvenile stuff like taking the garbage can out on Thursday’s. He worked the first three years of our marriage and after that he was rear ended with not even a bump on his vehicle but big enough of a reason to slowly get into oxycodone, smoking weed and compulsivley playing computer games for seven years. And I worked. And worked. He “loved” me in his own way, which was lust. If he really loved me he could turn on the patio light after it got dark so I am not trying to find my way in the garden. I asked him to do so a million times. It was selfish love and only served him. He did not work for seven years. I was too busy working to leave him.I was gravely ill at the end. End of the story. He went to live with his mom. Lol. Long story. What kept me with him? He was extremely intelligent and knowledgeable. My soft spot.
For whatever reason it makes it feel even more special.
Humm… First, I want to communicate that I feel for you and there must have been much difficulty with this relationship. I have to be honest though, I don’t know how I feel about that chart and it’s title… I could never do that with/to my husband… I would be concerned it would make him feel shame…
You have a valid point but he wanted specifics, it was a way of sharing responsibilities. Writing it down was his idea as he said it is easier to look at it rather than trying to remember. He was not a typical guy, very smart but did not care about taking care of anything. His family loved me because now I could raise him. Of course the circumstances needs to be on the table for us to be really talking about the issue, but since I put majority of it behind me, I don’t even want to spend too much energy analyzing it anymore. I appreciate your observation.
Oh man, the not working, smoking weed, playing games, he was snorting pills too- it all sounds like my ex and I. My soft spot was raising our son together and we had been together 15 years and good friends for 20 with my BFF being his sister. It was easier (and safer) to stay until he fucked up enough to leave. (He was psycho and a classic narcissist) I was also gravely ill at the end of all of that and honestly really didnt care if I made it out alive, I just needed out. Sorry you had to go through that, I understand what a bitch it is.
Ok, good. It’s not just me. lol
Narcissist, fuck yeah. I am sorry too Mandi. We are much better off. His pills was prescribed by his doctor but he abused them, no doubt about it.
Sending you positive thoughts!!!
I know that too well, I’m terribly clumsy
Hang in there.
I’m much better off but ended up in an entirely different clusterfuck of a mess after that I’m still working through. Kids really make things extremely difficult when you are committed to doing right by them. Healing is really necessary, even in the midst of all the chaos I have healed myself a ton this past year but am not even close to being done yet. My eyes have been opened though and I am insanely thankful for that so I don’t repeat any of this ever again. Thank you sobriety!!
I agree there should be an emoji that represents sadness, maybe a broken heart, or like they have on FB, a crying emoji.
I hope today is a little easier.
I’m just catching up over the last 24 hours and I am totally humbled by you, your amazing resolve and the incredible support from everyone here.
It was quite powerful to read.
What a beautiful community.
605 days without alcohol🙌
Wish you all a great sober day or peaceful night🌹
@LuluJo when you reply to a message and the box appears, tap the 3 little bars and it will have a drop down menu. You can access 100’s of emojis there.