Checking in daily to help maintain focus


#34800

Day 286.

My self care has been pretty top notch lately and I feel it! I haven’t been eating sugar and stuff that’s bad for me. I’ve been doing self massages nightly. Reiki on myself nightly. Dry brushing and taking hydrotherapy showers. I’m doing stretching and or yoga each night. I’m REALLY focused inward and I have to say life without the noise of the outside world is really good. I love helping and working on others but there comes a time when you know you need it too and I’ve finally been there so I’ve done it. The shift I feel inside of me these days is really pretty amazing compared to how I felt not that long ago! Everything was driving me insane for a while until I realized what I needed to do. I’ve released soooo much anger and resentment I held on to because it doesn’t do any good. It just has told me what I needed to hear and I’m listening. I’m not trying to make myself feel good about the things that don’t feel good anymore because you tend to not feel good about something for a reason. I’m not feeling like a victim or stuck anymore. I’ve made major shifts this last year to get to this place to make sure I don’t lose everything I’ve worked so hard for not only for my son but for me now. But lots and lots of patience has been required. I had to start looking at this as an opportunity to grow in such adversity instead of feeling like it was torture. I’ve been finding peace where I used to think it was completely impossible. And if I can do that now, it’s a massive skill I’ll be able to use anytime in life! I’ve realized I have made the decisions I have in the past pretty much solely because of financial reasons so I’ve got my art stuff going and I’ve made big strides toward being truly independent. Not comfortably yet but I have faith I will be ok. Still a work in progress but it’s been a great shift for me! Self love has been key to all I’m doing now and changing. It’s showing to others too even when I feel like I look run down, I hear I just have this presence about me that radiates again. And I really do feel it on the inside! I just realized I could feel down and self conscious because I’m within a few pounds of the highest I’ve ever ever weighed but I don’t at all actually, I feel great regardless! Now I’m off to conquer day 286! Happy sober FRIDAY all!! :heart:


#34801

Yeah. I’m slowly warming to the idea. I think when I went last time I wasn’t receptive to it because I wasn’t ready for it. I had no sober time behind me, and even though I went to meetings sober I still carried on drinking the day after etc. As I said get next week over and ill look into it.


#34802

@Buts 95 days is so so great :grinning: . I am proud of you and make me happy to see your progress.


#34804

90 days is precious. Congratulations and keep the great job you are doing. So happy you reached that number. Honestly the progress of all of you causes me joy


#34805

Great work! The days started FLYING by for me right around day 50/60.


#34806

Thanks! I am going to get ALL the rest over the four-day weekend. Hahahaha. Well, I’ve got a little BBQ work to do on Sunday for our holiday sale, but it’s usually just hanging out while customers pick up their orders.


#34807

Day 27. Lots of ground to cover at work today, but if we all get done at a decent time, we’ll be leaving the office early…so, fingers crossed.

Have a strong day!!!


#34808

24 days and it’s Friday! Going to try to have a little lighter day at work. It’s been a long week.


#34809

3 months, Danny-boy!!! You’re a fucking rock star (both literally and figuratively). Happy for you, brother. Let’s keep kicking the shit out of this sobriety thing!


#34810

Day 355
On my way home, feeling like I swallowed razor blades…hurts as hell. Prepping me with high doses of Vit.c, curcumin, a lot of lemons, apples and everything you need for a good soup.
Desperately waiting for the bus that’s stuck somewhere in town ack…I look like as I feel :sob: I want someone to hug me and put me in my cozy bed :sob:
Whining over


#34811

I’ll give you a virtual :hugs:


#34813

“the ghosts of the past which follow us into the present also belong to the present moment. To observe them deeply, recognize their nature, and transform them, is to transform the past” (TNH).

This transformation is forgiveness. Forgiving is one of the most challenging things to do. I drank myself into oblivions just to feel what it must feel to forgive, to feel nothing and “peace”. Sober, I am starting to forgive and I finally understand what it means to be in a state of forgiveness. It’s to allow myself to be free and to stand in my power. It’s to see clearly, it’s to suffer less, and sometimes not at all. It’s to bring the difficulty in full view to work on letting it go.

the problem with the ultimatum is that it sets up someone to fail, puts an accent on the undesirable. also, you cannot control the actions of another, ever, no matter how perfectly constructed the ultimatum. I’m curious about the ultimatum because it speaks about some kind of painful duality within you I presume, and makes you suffer quite a bit. Can you soften up this duality and see that nothing stands in opposition to each other?

:heart:


#34814

So, I may not be at all the right person for this but I don’t really do ultimatums. I don’t ask anyone to change who they are. I make mention of what isn’t working or won’t work for me so there is awareness of it but ultimately they are who they are and I am who I am. That can be a beautiful thing, I mean if you were both the same it gets boring fast. But you have to be comfortable with who you are to make a relationship work in my opinion and if you don’t love yourself there really isn’t much there to to give to someone else. Instead I then find there is jealousy, resentment, needing them to be your absolutely everything in life and that just isn’t realistic. You don’t want to lose who you are in a relationship because then what do you have to give them? Plus, if you are happy with you-you don’t worry about as much about what they are or aren’t doing. But you do need to know for yourself where your boundaries are. I know it gets much more complicated than that, especially with a lot of history but I have been finding it’s crucial to be able to be open and honest with even yourself about what works and doesn’t instead of holding in all those assumptions, resentment, worry and stress. It harbors bad things in that place. Counseling may be a great way to communicate together and see things from other perspectives as there has to be give and take on both sides to make it work but if you do it from a place of love instead of a place of resentments it can only help make things more clear for you both. Good luck!


#34815

Checking in at day 7!!! Happy to be here and happy to be sober!!! I’m off to a meeting!!
Hope everyone has a great day!!! :honeybee::honeybee::honeybee:


#34816

Checking in on day 106. Last day of work in 2018. I should be on top of the world but I’m not. This will be my first sober Christmas in what feels like 100 years and, while I look forward to not being hungover Christmas morning, I’m feeling an anxiety and nervousness that I haven’t felt before. Are my expectations too high? Am I worried about not having my “alcohol crutch” available when the inevitable family drama and bickering starts? I’m buoyed by the fact that I do all the cooking and can lose myself in the kitchen. But I need to reflect on why I have this ominous feeling. It’s just not who I am, especially this time of year. :expressionless:

And after telling my boss on 3-4 separate occasions that I quit drinking, yesterday he hands me a big bottle of champagne and says, Merry Christmas! The good thing is that I fucking hate champagne. :rage:


#34818

I regift that type of stuff immediately, no need of it taking up space in my house! I think it’s probably just holiday stress, try to take some time for you doing something that makes you happy if you can. It should help!


#34819

14 days sober from alcohol and 7 days clean eating. :blush::v:


#34820

Pardon my ignorance, but what is the magnesium for?


#34821

You are usually a very positive so it is surprising to hear this from you. I know that since I quit drinking there have been a few days where I just couldnt shake an anxious moment or I was in a bad mood all day. I usually tend to focus on breathing or do a quick gratitude list in my head. Hope you get over your worries soon.

I had a similar situation with alcahol last night. I was picking up my son from my mother in laws house. She had friends over and everyone was having a holiday cocktail. She offered me a drink as well.

I was upset in the moment but the more I look back on it she was just being her normal gracious hosting self. She wants to believe I can and will have a drink in the future because she still thinks Im depriving myself by not drinking. I hope your bosses offer was in good intention as well


#34823

No apologies necessary! :slight_smile: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/286839.php

It super helps my muscles and my fibromyalgia pain, it stops my muscle spasms and helps them relax. That’s the biggest reason I take it personally