Checking in daily to help maintain focus


#36778

It’s definitely not weak, and it’s definitely not bullshit. Love will always win, I firmly believe that. You’re right, disengaging is the answer. My fault was feeling that I should speak for the many, like you, who despise confronting others. I was not given the megaphone, but I took it and spoke on their behalf without their permission. I suppose it was my misguided attempt at protection. I’m still learning to control my ego and allow devolving arguments to pass. Crawling into the pit with those who thrive there will never amount to constructive progress.

Thanks for helping me to process.


#36779

Day 42. Chicago weather was 50 degrees yesterday and 9 degrees today. Feeling a bit of the PAWS lately (which was unexpected b/c everything was going so well) and it’s kinda like our weather here. Beautiful easy days of sobriety, then a cold front that smacks you in the face. It’s nothing I can’t work through. Still never going back. Sending you all warmth and love. -Tom


#36780

Checking In - still day 111 :slight_smile: - How is everyone? Does anyone know any autobiographys that are worth a read?


#36781

Checking in Day 265 -

Days when I feel like my life is not in my control are hard. I was supposed to meet for coffee with a potential new sponsor this afternoon. We’ve already had to reschedule twice for various valid reasons. I just learned that my in-laws are sick and cannot keep my children, so I have to bail on coffee again. Ugh. This is where I’m supposed to find serenity and let go of my self will, right? Right.

Trying hard…


#36782

Love this analogy, thank you for sharing! So glad you and a few others are sticking around! Means a lot to me :heart:


#36783

It’s unfortunate how it comes and goes unexpectedly… I’ve learned to just take it in, feel it, process it, until it passes… in your shoes now. Hope it passes soon for the both of us!


#36784

Would totally step up and help you out if we lived closer! Omg they would be amazing actually. Move to Texas! lol


#36785

Right. And just think, this is certainly the right decision because you don’t want those little muffins getting sick again (or you!) so this is actually a good thing. Divine timing works for various reasons, just roll with it darling! :heart:


#36786
  1. Gym :white_check_mark:, work tonight. Headed to a 12 pm meeting soon… hoping to share with you guys my take on what is discussed. This is allowed right? Haven’t ever shared before. Hope all are having an incredible day!!

#36787

Checkin in day 115. Feel good today with little sleep, have had a rough couple of weeks with instability and irregularities in my living situation and that’s my fault and something that’s been difficult and pushing my recovery limits at times. Luckily I have an amazing friend who has been there for me and it’s meant a great deal to my sobriety. We all love our routines and something sometimes we take for granted at least I did was a routine of a stable place to rest my head at night. Thankfully things are headed up, doing better in that area and I’m grateful for that peace of mind.
Just for today!


#36788

Day 72
I’m finding that I absolutely must pray to The GOMU every single day - often several times a day.

This is a radical shift for me; not only in behavior but also a shift in how I see myself as a person. I’ve held a disdain for religious people for most of my life and believed that prayer was for the weak and the weak minded. I guess, on some level, I was right because that’s me now. Weak. Weak minded. Helpless and lost. Above all else, afraid.

So I continue to pray. I pray to the God of my understanding. I pray for guidance and focus and I surrender control over to a force greater than myself. I love that phrase “God of your/my understanding” I know it simply means “God, as you understand it” but to me, it also means The God of Understanding - like, through my God, I will understand. That’s a powerful concept, when you actually believe in it. And I do. Oddly, I do.
Everything is off kilter, right now. Everything. I can’t even begin to explain. I’m just fucked up right now mentally, physically, emotionally, psychologically, socially, financially, professionally-- straight up EXISTENTIALLY. Fucked. All I can do is pray and stay the course.

End of rant: at least I’m sober.


#36789

You know I love me some Houston!:heart:


#36790

I love this analogy. Thank you so much for sharing. Dedication is everything.


#36791

I was of that same mindset surrounding the devoutly religious. I thought it was a crutch that the weak minded leaned on to prop themselves up. It’s become something I can admire if they are accepting of all.

My GOMU isn’t anything like the God described in the old testament. I always had a problem with the thought that some within Christianity seem to write off people that dont accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior. Christ never said, you have to be Christian or you’re shit out of luck, mate. He said follow my example to live your life. The ancient wisdom of many cultures preach those same tenets. And those that lead a life of that caliber, whether Baptist or Yazidi, all can tap into the HP inside of them. And if the energy of a soul is eternal, and the universe is infinite, maybe I’m given eternity to learn how to live.


#36792

This is poetry. Thank you.
Religion and God are two separate things. It took me a long time to realize that.
Once you separate your faith from religion, you’re free to follow your heart.
I don’t understand HOW prayer works anymore than I understand how the cpu in this phone works. But, I understand HOW TO work it. And right now, that’s all that matters to me.
I’ve seen real positive results from prayer. You can’t argue with results.


#36793

Back on day 1, not gonna beat myself up, just get more vigilant


#36794

Even with 1000 days, it’s still just for today. Don’t let time seem daunting. Embrace the present, every minute of every hour of every day. Congratulations on today


#36795

Theres definitely something behind manifesting our reality through focus on a goal, and through verbalizing that goal. It’s not always spiritual, but at times I can definitely feel like a force led me to a place or gave me a hint after simply asking to see the next step I’m supposed to take.

I’m not sure if you’ve ever read Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, but it sorta demystifies personal gain though faith. I’m not finished with it, but it has certainly been helpful for me in dealing with the anxiety I feel surrounding the financial situation you mentioned.

Selfishly, I’m glad to have you back after your travels, my friend. Much Love.


#36796

Thanks Mitch
I’m glad to be back too. (and flattered)


#36797

Awesome analogy @TMAC! And to add to the analogy… try to avoid any shit. I think that applies to both running and sobriety. If you step in shit, it ruins your day. Wait, maybe this applies only to running. :thinking::poop: Feel free to discuss…