Hello All,
Good Morning to all on Day 197. The higher my number gets the more I wish I could calculate how much money I spent on alcohol for the previous 17 years and want it all back. LoL! A lot going on today including some work at one of my rental properties, but it’s great to wake up with a clear head and no hangover or regrets about what I did the previous day. Let’s all rock this Sober Saturday!
Thanks
Day 77. Up and at it early today. Standard weekend of gym, cleaning, playing guitar, and chilling with the dog.
Backstory on the song I’m sharing: One of my biggest regrets was starting to drink. I used to be straightedge, and that lifestyle and community was always great. Living a killer life, with no drugs or alcohol seemed like the easiest thing to hold on to…but, here I am. Despite years of drinking, and all the ups and downs I’ve had with it, this band, and specifically this song, has always resonated with me. I’ll post the lyrics below, because you may not understand them if you don’t have the “metal ear”. Hahaha. Have a strong day!!!
34 days. Husband wanted fish fry last night at a local dive bar. Two types of customers. Those there to drink heavily and those there for dinner. Relieved that I was excited for the excellent food and no desire for alcohol. In the past, the drink would have been my primary concern and food an afterthought. Food is so much better sober!
Day 13 complete, can’t believe I’m 1 day from completing 2 weeks. I have to keep going if I have any chance of getting my life back.
Going on 36 full days of sobriety tonight. I have officially surpassed my run before Christmas. The only other time I have done so since age 19, were my 2 pregnancies.
Pretty astounding, in retrospect. Had enough sense and control to maintain sobriety for a duration of 2 pregnancies, 7 years apart - but not enough sense to recognize and take responsibility for my disease and do something about it for myself and my family.
Nothing I can do about not taking action sooner, but grateful that I have and am giving my best self to my family.
Thank-you everyone that has had the courage to share their stories. An addict doesn’t need to go to jail or get a D.U.I. to validate an addiction. Not being fully present and missing out on important moments because I was anxious to have a drink, or snappy because I didn’t have one… so many times. That was my rock bottom. I really believe that no matter how low we believe we hit with our personal “rock bottom moments,” we always could have fell down further, if we didn’t take action.
Thanks for making this forum a non-judgmental space for me to share my thoughts and victories. Looking forward to hearing yours and sharing many more.
There were some pretty embarrassing blackout moments that could have served as rock bottom moments, too. So many choices. I cringe when I think about some of the things I did when I was drinking. I think I was experiencing some undiagnosed form of PTSD, or something to that extent the first time I got sober… just processing it all… why I relapsed.
Living in the present, now. It’s much nicer here!
Day 120. Had my first drinking dream, which involved the feeling of devastation, guilt and shame. Woke up in a panic until I realised it was just a dream and not real.
In other news, a friend is having to downsize, so after my morning meeting I went over to talk about the possibility of me taking on some of his fish. We came up with a plan about what might work for me. I have been thinking about a pet for some time, but not taking any active action. This is another sign to me that if I am patient and let solutions reveal themselves to me, rather than trying to force them, the right things happen in the right way at the right time.
Those dreams!!! Ugh!
Waking up from those feels a lot like waking after a night of heavy drinking where the memories of what we did or said start coming into focus and the shame sets in. Only difference is, with dreams, we didn’t really do it! But those first 1 or 2 moments tho…
First!? Wow, that’s actually impressive and don’t they suck? Ugh hate them. I always wake up extra slow in fog so it feels even more like reality. Happy you are still sober checking in at 120 days!!!
Happy Saturday! Alarm went off and first thing out of bed I did some situps and pushups. Also a little running in place to get the heart going.then I woke and realized I went back to sleep after the alarm went of lol. That should count as a workout.
Have an awesome day my friends.
I do know. I’m dealing with it best I can. It’s confusing when you consider people family and they turn on you, or dynamics get worst. I need help with this relationship though. She is a drinker, heavy, and she’s losing grip on reality, struggling. I’m confused is all… 
We’re going to watch Aquaman and have pizza for dinner. Hope all are doing extremely well 
So day 40 in the bag. Woop woop.
Inspired by the big number crew… I know there are many more but big shout out to those I can see have busted 100+
[I had linked 15 of you but had to redact as can only link 10 members!! So deleted all… anyhooo you know who you are💜]
Thank you all, you help me to know it gets easier, better and very much worth it day by day. 
Hey guys checking in at day 6. I feel like I’m on a roller coaster. I was happy at the meeting and now I feel completely numb. So I’m going to go to another meeting tonight and talk to my sponsor. Hopefully that’ll help 
