180 days without acting out with porn, 20 days pot free…I’m calling tomorrow 6 months because my sober date is 9/14/18.
I wish I had let go of the weed when I decided to get on this journey. I feel like I’d be much further along. I am starting to understand how it zaps that ambitious spark within me. I used weed to manage anxiety. I used it because some of my good friends use it. I thought it made me more creative and I thought it gave a meditative quality when I used. Maybe I don’t have the desire to use anymore because I don’t have the anxiety I used to have when I was in active addiction.
It’s time to be an adult. It’s time to be present in my own life. I started this addiction at such a young age that I am not really sure who I was before. It stunted me mentally and emotionally. I am still trying to let go of the thoughts I can only attribute to the teenage boy I was when I started digging this hole. There’s a big gap between he and I, and I’ll never get that time back. But I can do my damndest to make sure there’s a driver with intention behind the wheel.
My intention is to keep following the path in search of that calling. I’m asking my HP to lead me toward it while I try to focus on taking care of myself. There is still a lot of work to be done. Thankfully, I found you all on this journey. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for each and every one of you. My sincerest thanks for the lessons you’ve all given me.