Checking in daily to help maintain focus


#41389

Mel,

You will be terribly missed in your time away from the forum, however long it may be. However, I totally understand stepping away, whether it’s for a brief break from TS, or something a little longer. I’m hoping it’s the former, but I am glad you are doing what you feel you must do for yourself.

Be happy, be sober. Keep killing it, my friend. I know you will. :hugs:


#41390

@liv_m I will miss you too! But you know where to find me. Keep us updated once in awhile.


#41391


#41392

I love taking baths, too. I try to focus more on self care now. Good for you in doing the same! We gotta take care of ourselves, because nobody else will. Keep up the good work!


#41393

Love every single one of these! Thanks so much for sharing them, @MandiH!!


#41394

The trees are blooming all along my usual walk now, it smells amazing!!


#41395

465 days of getting better at getting better. 100 days into my 2nd year of sobriety. 83 days to get after it until I have 18 mos.
Never. Going. Back.


#41396

This weekend I was pruning my grape and kiwi vines, and my plumb, cherry and apple trees. Bit later than usual for it, but we’re still cold so I thought OK. Noticed lots of green buds on the limbs. Won’t be long until my yard is awash in pink, purple and white blossoms.


#41397

I love seeing new growth every year…I haven’t had a formal garden in years now, just lots of potted plants that have stayed blooming this whole winter surprisingly.

Hopefully we get to see your spring garden blooming!


#41398

180 days without acting out with porn, 20 days pot free…I’m calling tomorrow 6 months because my sober date is 9/14/18.

I wish I had let go of the weed when I decided to get on this journey. I feel like I’d be much further along. I am starting to understand how it zaps that ambitious spark within me. I used weed to manage anxiety. I used it because some of my good friends use it. I thought it made me more creative and I thought it gave a meditative quality when I used. Maybe I don’t have the desire to use anymore because I don’t have the anxiety I used to have when I was in active addiction.

It’s time to be an adult. It’s time to be present in my own life. I started this addiction at such a young age that I am not really sure who I was before. It stunted me mentally and emotionally. I am still trying to let go of the thoughts I can only attribute to the teenage boy I was when I started digging this hole. There’s a big gap between he and I, and I’ll never get that time back. But I can do my damndest to make sure there’s a driver with intention behind the wheel.

My intention is to keep following the path in search of that calling. I’m asking my HP to lead me toward it while I try to focus on taking care of myself. There is still a lot of work to be done. Thankfully, I found you all on this journey. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for each and every one of you. My sincerest thanks for the lessons you’ve all given me.


#41399

I swear we are on the same journey but different paths. I have felt like I’m not “sober enough” lately. And it’s been a little hard on my… Conscience? I’m not sure how to explain it. But I’m recognizing it and making changes, that’s all we can do! Progress not perfection. We can’t go back in time unfortunately(fortunately??).

Also just so there’s no confusion lol (to everyone in general) I have been sober from drugs and alcohol :100:. But I definitely have other unhealthy behaviors I need to start really focusing on now.

You’re doing a great job Mitch and I’m really proud of you.


#41400

Many thanks Lea!! watching your recovery and your dogged determination to get to your own truth has been among the most inspiring sources of hope for me. You always have a kind word and a welcoming voice. Folks like you are in short supply.

Deep, Deep appreciation that I’ve met so many here.


#41401

I will be sure to post pics. Garden will be a bit smaller and less intensive this year than in previous years. I my fruit trees and vines aren’t much work, but the seasonal crops are. Instead of planting every inch of bedspace in the spring, I’m leaving a couple beds fallow to recharge, and planting fewer of each variety.


#41402

Back to day 1, my husband brought home a new crown flavor and I was just going to “taste” it… i already know how stupid that was. That taste turned into several sips I was able to stop myself after a few but it was extremely hard. I’m disappointed. I try hard not to be that person who asks others to not do certain things but I think I will ask him just not to bring bottles in that I can see because at this point I just cave when it’s in my fridge. He won’t mind at all he doesn’t drink often anyways I just hate that I don’t have any self control at times. I want to go back to the group I attended my first AA meeting at but I went and then didn’t go back because it is an hour drive from my house now I feel like I can’t go back because they were so great to me and I told them all I’d be back and I didn’t. Is it silly to feel that way? I’m sure they won’t judge me for that but my anxiety tells me otherwise. I did attend two meetings closer to home but I didn’t like them it didn’t feel the same and they don’t offer any women only nights and I’d really like having that option. I hate having to check in saying day 1 again but I do it for accountability because I promise it doesn’t feel good to have to admit it.


#41403

You made me think then Mitch.
This is the longest I’ve been without putting any sort of intoxicating substance in me since about 12. That’s when I started smoking pot, then started drinking, then rec drugs then drinking even heavier. Also no p or m since I’ve stopped drinking.
So for the first time in 40 years my body and mind is as it should be!
Cheers mate. Well done on your six months my friend.:smile:


#41404

Don’t be put off going back, they won’t think any less of you. How many people do you think do the same. Don’t worry you’ll be fine.


#41405

6 days 17 hours, less sweaty and very smiley at work, lent my mini version of aa book to a colleague today for help with her situ, directed her to “for the wives” chapter. Putting it ‘into action’ I am thinking and being humble to. :rainbow:


#41406

Working backwards to chip away at those layers of habitual harm we do to ourselves in the name of fun, amiright? That 12 year old kid is who I try to picture myself talking to when those stupid thoughts pop into my head. It helps me to have a little compassion for myself.


#41407

Damn straight. The 12 year old was easily led, needed to fit in! By the time I found I just had to be me to fit in I was already too far gone!
It’s never too late!:smile:


#41408

Double digits today whoot! Personal record in the last 8 years :sunglasses: