- With help, I touched on the feeling of being afraid not to be liked if I became more of who I was. Who I am has been a problem for some in my past, some today, so much I got beat, ridiculed, had my boundaries broken. Well, with this help, I’d like to state that I don’t give a fuck anymore if I make other’s uncomfortable by being myself. I trust in my capacity to care, respect and honor my fellow human, I trust in my sense of self and my ability to know how to make myself and situations safe, but if being me in my glory bothers, too GOT damned bad. If someone calls me names, projects their insecurities on me, I can use a weapon I’m sharpening, compassion. HIGH FIVES!
Back. Again. On my millionth day #1. I get these huge motivational breaths of fresh air and decide to quit. Then day #2 punches that idea in the face and I end up drinking. I previously strung together over 300 days but these past 1…2… 9 months? I can’t string together 2 days unless I’m absolutely forced. I’ll never give up.
Checking in day 1
Welcome back. This time, no retreat. No quarter. No surrender.
I know that if I can string a couple days together I’ll get some more motivation. Just gotta get there…
It’s so hard being a home alone drinker. I can’t avoid my home.
Keep fighting. Stay strong. Stay focused. Stay vigilant.
Mel, just be you. Why worry about what others think. They have their own problems. Especially if they don’t like someone as caring as you.
I stepped well out of my comfort zone tonight at band, I mean a million f***ing miles outside!! I actually stood in front of a mic, and sang. I don’t sing, I can’t sing! But it seems I can, the guys actually liked it. Can you imagine that
Go on, you badass warrior! Keep doing you, because “you” is awesome!!
Happy birthday… we share the same birthday x
Thankyou all 4 my birthday wishes… ive loved every minute of my day… been to aa tonight with Steven and my sponsor… we went back to her house and sat chatting about our new lifes … i never thought i could sit in on my birthday clean and soba with 4 other addicts and all be so happy and greatful to a cup of tea… my life gets better each day… im totally greatful to be given this wonderful gift of life … god bless you all my ts family x
Love it, Mel! Learning to love ourselves more than anyone else can ensures that petty barbs can’t touch us. So spot on about projecting insecurity! If material or superficial comparisons to their fellow man is all they have…well, they don’t have much and that’s sad. Probably why they can’t get enough of whatever it is that’s making them miserable.
The happiest birthday to you so pleased to see you had a lovely day x
WHAT!!! Best thing I’ve heard today!!!
I just arrived at my destination, and was rapping to myself in the car, so I can only imagine what a feeling it is to sing infront of others. (But no one needs to hear me rap, and this is not a diminishing my skillz this is, just a straight fact. LOL).
Absolutely amazing. Thanks for sharing that!
I believe that is called freedom
Checking in on day 30!
That’s what I was, mostly. You had some solid sobertime, so I know you can say “no” to the drink that matters…the first drink and say “no” to the hardest person to say “no” to…yourself. it would appear that your addiction has escalated on you. What will you do to escalate on it? Meetings might help get you out of your house, and out of your head, where your resolve is currently insufficient for the task.
You’ve decided to be better. Now be better.
Lets go @Kmills888, you can do this. Great to see you back and finding some fight, dig deep, we all know the fighter you can be.
Sober birthday for me, I just had my real birthday in March, but thanks.
Dogs are the best. My two are the same, its crazy excitement for each and every walk, theres no such thing as a calm experience when putting their leash on.