GOOD MORNING AND HAPPY FRIDAY! I'm checking in, Day 55! I have been having a rough past couple of weeks but have been trying to remain positive. When they say marriage takes work, they are not joking! Whoever, they are. lol My husband is not a drinker so that is not the issue. My issue is loneliness and neglect. Someone saying they will be home and coming home 2 hours late. Someone not even listening to you when you are talking to them on the phone. Me being here with the kids, pretty much in isolation and having WAY to much time to think and be in my crazy little head. Lately, the quote, "Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die" has been playing on repeat in my head. When I was drinking I never really got to feel the loneliness, I was having way to great a time with the party in my brain to realize how truly alone I was. The past couple days I have wanted to drink....BAD. I just wanted to not feel the loneliness and kind of push my IDGAF button. But then, that quote. That quote reminds me that while, yea I might escape the loneliness for a night, the same problems, same issues, same concerns, will be there to greet me when I wake up. Except also, with a brutal hangover, terrible anxiety and a huge sense of guilt. Drinking would do nothing to resolve my situation. My husband wouldn't suffer because I drank. He wouldn't be the one with the hangover. It wouldn't affect him one tiny bit. I would be the one hurting myself. Long story short, I had a long talk with him yesterday and shared how I have been feeling and I'm hoping for the best. It was nice to just be able to talk with each other. The kids have a way of making that not happen very often, lol. I trust him wholeheartedly so that is a non-issue. He just has moments where he gets way to caught up in work and can be kind of an idiot. A very sweet, misguided idiot. I'm getting super stoked about hitting my 60 day mark, so that is something huge for me to look forward to and keep me on my path. I hope you all have a very happy Friday and if for some reason I don't chat with you, have a great sober weekend!