Hello there, and thank you for your message, though you really shouldn’t waste your time thinking about people like me. I’m sure that there are people in your life for whom you care, think about them… not people like me.
That being said, I wish that I could say that things are going better, but that’s not the way it works. There are gradients when it comes to being depressed, in my case, anyway. Everything from PARTICULARLY depressed (suicidal), through to “average” depressed (disappointed to wake up every morning), and all the way through to numb (not caring about anything). That’s not to say that I’m depressed all the time… i can always find some distractions. Mostly work, an average of about 360 days per year… or going for a ride on my motorcycle when the weather is nice, or… well… some “other things”. None of them involve alcohol anymore, so that’s something I guess.
In many ways, I wish that I had been more successful as a mercenary. If I had managed to stick it out a bit longer, I might have been able to meet my goal of getting killed by the age of 25. Needless to say, that hasn’t worked out.
I did give some serious thought to drinking myself to death, and I was probably on the road to doing so, but the resulting overall physical discomfort got to be too annoying, so I’ll have to come up with something else, eventually.
Anyway, things are all right over here… the weather seems fairly nice today, but tomorrow, Sunday, we are supposed to get nothing but rain, so I may end up going for a little motorcycle ride today.
I should get back to work, lots to get done, customers waiting for their work and all that…
Have a nice and sober day, everyone.