Day 1, 8hrs, 20mins. The dog walk this morning was better than yesterday. Birdsong sounds so much better than the voices in my head, telling and retelling their stories of shame, regret, self-loathing - filling me with an anxiety that I didn’t miss this morning.
Like WCan, I know I need to find a new after-work ritual - that moment of pushing myself away from the desk is when “reward” mentality kicks in. Today I rewarded the dog with another walk. Maybe tomorrow I try meditation before the walk? I am already so grateful to have an evening spent being present, whether the feeling is delicious (which it often is) or I come across something less so - anxiety, worry, fear of failure, etc. All parts of the journey, and so much better than the shame…
Glad to have met you both here, I’ll look forward to checking in tomorrow. Keep well!
Emm
Day 3 check in. Kinda stressed out today. I know I’ll probably be a bit stressed tomorrow too but I’ll get through it. I think coffee makes me anxious and aggravated my stress level. I have been trying not to drink it but I was very tired today. I’ll plan to skip it tomorrow and see if there’s a difference.
Day 583. Today was difficult but okay. Fought through the stress and sadness and got some items knocked off my to do list. I want next week to come already.
The Hollyhocks are blooming early this year. The seasons seem to be changing here a bit. My commitment to staying sober and clean isn’t. Have a good day all. Clean and sober. Love from Amsterdam.
The rainy season starts today, so for the next few weeks everything will be wet and a bit swampy smelling. Lovely.
Feeling a bit overwhelmed with work, as always. I really am not a sit in front of a pc all day kind of person. Just did a couple of hours and my back and neck and eyes hurt. But it is on a little laptop. So maybe like in Scandinavia they say ‘there is no bad weather, only bad clothes’, but in my case ‘there is no bad teleworking, only bad computer set up’
264 Days. Another exhausting day. It’s 1am and I have to get up in 5 hours and do it all over again. There’s no time for thoughts or cravings which is both good and bad.
I’m noticing deceitful people make me very angry. It’s the “insulting my intelligence” part that really makes me mad. I know I can’t change them but why can’t they just give in when they’re called out?! I would brush this off when I was using. Now it just eats at my core.
Day 181! Today was okay. Went back to our office for the first time, so looks like working from home is officially over for now. I’m kinda sad about it, I’m really gonna miss no commute
I’d say this is typically an emotion/feeling we used to hide from by using our DOC’s. And now we have to face life and people unfiltered. That takes new ways and coping mechanisms. It takes time. Work. Effort. You are putting in the work Lisa. Keep going. ODAAT. Hugs.
Checking in :
Intake by video conferance for a new therapist/psych. Going in for weekly sessions of emdr and to have a way talking about what spins thrue my head. I think its the right step die me at this point. I had therapie before but not im willing to walk the distance and really start digging in my soul and try opening up about the pain, losses and sarrow out the past and childhood…
Gotta go now, intake in 5 min…
I just want to say hello! I’m new here I’ve been sober since December third when I had a really bad drunk driving accident. I was the only one hurt other than the house I hit. Just trying to stay on track
