I do struggle with that last one too… because in the end I’ve got to choose on what I take action from the things I do can change, and that’s a rough and implicite part of this prayer.
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Happy, happy, happy birthday my dear sweet friend!!! This is a very special one for you and I’m excited. I believe in you wholeheartedly 
You have me and a ton of others to lean on, you’re very loved Paul. I hope your birthday has been amazing so far!!
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Oh Cristel, I know the feeling and I hope you wake up today feeling better. Sleep is way more magical than booze, but doesn’t that little hussy love to call on us when times are hard. Great job powering through. Let me know if you need to talk 
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Checking in at 14 days, the longest since I relapsed at 100 ish days in August. Covid stress got me convinced I had to relax with booze but of course it bit me in the arse again… I’m sure I can do better now
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Checking in at 116.33 days.
Ready for the week, I think. One of the things that was said to me by batshit, was “never tell anyone you shop on amazon, this is a highly corporate and professional field filled with Ivy League educated people”. First of all, it’s commercial real estate which is a freaking 6 week class. Second of all, I have dual degrees in computer and electrical engineering and quite the resume before starting this company 2.5 years ago. However, what did I do this weekend? Plowed an exorbitant amount of money into buying “high end” clothing. However, revoke my girl card, because I did all my shopping online and still hated it. I’d rather put a cigarette in my eye than walk into a clothing store. I will agree that I relaxed my style during Covid. Damn, sweats are the shit. However, a name brand suit does not dictate ability to do my job. I hate that I still considered what her opinion would be when deciding on clothes. I’m just not that person that thinks it’s OK to spend $600 on a dress just for the name attached. It’s not me. Never will be. I’ve had the same damn purse for over 10 years 
So fine, I fucking got a new one. Good lord.
@anon60334405 hang in there. I think if they mind hanging out with you sober, they may not be worth your friendship. You have so much to offer. My friends will often try to do non drinking events and I have to convince them that I don’t mind them drinking around me. Their drinking isn’t my problem, mine is. It feels great being a designated driver and a voice of reason when needed. You are so very special and my wish for you is to see yourself through our eyes. You’re incredible! Stay strong 
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@Tommo @Hailstrom This is one reason I didn’t want to stop. First reasonable stretches of sobriety (for me and my experiences in the past 2 years) I had were couples of 50 days and one longer of 198 days and I was every of those time obsessed on 3 things: sobriety, working out and nutrition. But my conception of sobriety wasn’t at the time what it is today: it was more restrictive in the way I isolate myself a lot, restraint me from doing a lot of things I could’ve done anyways, made me miserable in many ways. But I was sober so my life became more manageable and I did accomplish a lot of things. I was single at the time and felt lonely and didnt want to see someone. Obsessed with my “recovery” which wasn’t planned at it is now and was more a restraining order than a recovery. But like you say, it may be needed in the beginning, maybe I should’ve go further those days and it would have temper down, who knows…
And then I red somewhere that “you can’t workout your sobriety” which frightened me. I didn’t know how to get sober without being obsessed with working out and nutrition?! What is going to happen to my train of thoughts? What am I going to think about? Then I never been able to get back on the sober train for a reasonable stretch since December 2018. Since then, I was against getting totally sober because I believed it will become and obsession that will eat me. I ditched this forum and said that doing AA was not leaving alcohol but still making it the center of our life by talking and thinking about not drinking it all the time. I said things like that couples of weeks ago again. But the thing is I am obsessed with alcohol since I can’t remember, but at least 10 years, and if I check the curve of evolution of my obsession to it through time, it just keep getting higher and higher. SO… in a way or another, drinking or not drinking, of course I am going to be obsessed with my addiction, because it is how my brain is wired since I began drinking .
It took me nearly 2 years and on-and-off “I stop drinking” and “I can moderate” to get back to a similar point of being obsessed with not drinking. But this time is different. It is not just about not drinking, it is about everything surrounding not drinking and what it can provides me (versus what I could and have lost with alcohol). For me now it’s more about recovery than sobriety for itself. It try to recover from all those years and all the damages I’ve done to myself and others; I want to recover my health and especially my mental health which is all over the place right now; I want to recover to be better than I could’ve be with drinking; I want to recover and use what’ve learn in the past decade to help others and to grow.
It is hard to wired our brain to “want to not something”. It is easier to make our mind and align our behaviors to “want something”. So the battle between drinking and not drinking can be sometime really hard, especially in the beginning. I rather say now that I am obsessed in my recovery.
Another way to say that self-care is now at the center of my life, instead of Johnny Walker.
Sorry for the long post. Checking in btw 
Hope everyone having a good day
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100 x yes! There’s a point where it shifts, at least for me anyway. You work hard, build up the tool box, absord everything, maintain focus and not get complacent. You become more comfortable with sobriety, you stop that destructive behaviour. Then the focus becomes the rebuild, the recovery. And that’s when it gets really interesting 
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Thank you Beth. That means alot
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Your mind is processing. Think about: how many days/years have you been conditioned it to another way of thinking. Now it’s time to process the change and also to learn to see everything from another point of view. Your mind is working hard, give it time, it needs it.
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Day 101 clean and sober today. Looking forward to hearing about housing this week. Have an amazing day today everyone!!!
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It is ok to care about those feelings. You have them, you experience them, and they’re not especially enjoyable. Please don’t fight yourself and them too much over… You’re the one who reminded me to meditate some weeks ago. I am not gonna tell you to meditate over this, but I know that with all the practice you’ve had, maybe you can talk to you into letting those thoughts and feeling just be there for awhile. Who cares if they’re true or false, they’re there anyways and you’ve got to live your life with them at the moment… not cool, but still living and sober and breathing through…
I send you and hope you get some serenity and peace into this,
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Hobbies over hangovers anyday 
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My sister says the same; she’s almost 40 years sober. It’s really changing our mindset; it’s just not an option.
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I think looking at your before and now pics say otherwise!
I like hanging out with sober people and think anyone who doesn’t want to hang with you is a dick!
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And a bottle of wine will x10 all of these feelings and give you one more problem to cope with.
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Day 6 sober.A great chat with an ally in recovery following the same plan.
I start to feel hopeful again
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Your doing great again mate, keep up the good work. 
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Are you working today?
Best quote of the day so far ! 
Pulled it out of nowhere
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