- Coffee. Back to work. Had a great little trip yesterday, doing a big ride out of Maastricht along the Dutch/Belgian/German border. Lots of other cyclists around (including more oldies on e-bikes @M-be-free49 ) but enough room for all. Lots of hills. Totally different from where I live. It was warm and the terraces were full with beer drinking folks which made me thirsty for one a couple of times. No way I’ll give in though. I’m sober and clean and live is much better this way. Have a good week all! The pic is from the top of Gulpenberg, where this little memorial to a well known Dutch cycling journalist stands. He drank and smoked himself to death and said he was proud of that. The twat. @AyBee Yay you! Awesome numbers.
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Great Job on 500 days! 
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Thanks Lee, same to you. Yeah, I contacted a friend and had a long talk. It helped, I need to chill out and get my perspective right again.
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The first sober week is over! That’s where I failed last time, but I know, that it won’t happen now. Feeling quite ok, having much more spirit to deal with my life problems.
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I’m here, I’m alive and I’m sober.
Day 22
Class in five minutes, boys are going to be at the after school club until 16.00.
I’m still sleeping like crap, or almost not at all. Going to drink a vegan matcha latte and try to focus. We’re getting our first exam today, Due Oct 1st. My goal is to be done and have it ready to hand in Monday. Bringing out my fall KitchenWitch Necklace for luck.
Wishing y’all a wonderful week 
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Good luck in your exam! I know you’ll do great!
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Good morning! Working on Day 24 and have discovered that whatever money I’ve saved by not buying wine is going directly to yarn, books, colored pencils and fabric. After work today, I’m skipping over to JoAnn’s to hit up the end if their flannel sale. Tonight after dinner I’ll cut out and sew some PJs because I won’t have sucked down 3 glasses of pinot. A sober gift!
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I’m sure the vets here will have more to say on this, but my 65 year old brother who quit 10 years ago says the best thing is that he doesn’t think about the stuff anymore. That’s my goal!
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Good morning everybody! It’s Monday! New week! It doesn’t have to be “just another manic Monday”! Let’s take control and make it great. Day 24. I’ll do my morning meditation and exercise then get ready for my meeting at noon!! Have a greattttt day y’all!
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Day 231. I have such a silly way of thinking. just carin about shit that I shouldn’t. Feel unattractive, not happy with my skin, almost 8 months sober and set all these expectations that just never happened. Nobody wants to hang out with the sober person, I feel awkward in situations, and can just feel the unwelcomed feeling from ppl. I know gives a fuck what others think of you.
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Firstly, congrats on 17 days man. Those early days are really tough so good work 
You’ll find that most people here had to become obsessed with recovery to get any real results. I lived and breathed it for the first 6 months, podcasts morning noon and night, reading here constantly, youtube videos, books. Meetings for many here too. It has to be the priority, absorb everything you can. Stay open minded and try everything. Sounds like youre in the right head space to acheive the recovery you desire
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I thought about the “lost” time on thinking too… but when I think about this, how many time was lost while drinking, recovering from the days drunk, obsessed about it, …? I am pretty sure the days of thinking about not drinking and what’s best for me can’t never equal those drunk times. I think you made a good choice 
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I do struggle with that last one too… because in the end I’ve got to choose on what I take action from the things I do can change, and that’s a rough and implicite part of this prayer.
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Happy, happy, happy birthday my dear sweet friend!!! This is a very special one for you and I’m excited. I believe in you wholeheartedly
You have me and a ton of others to lean on, you’re very loved Paul. I hope your birthday has been amazing so far!!
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Oh Cristel, I know the feeling and I hope you wake up today feeling better. Sleep is way more magical than booze, but doesn’t that little hussy love to call on us when times are hard. Great job powering through. Let me know if you need to talk 
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Checking in at 14 days, the longest since I relapsed at 100 ish days in August. Covid stress got me convinced I had to relax with booze but of course it bit me in the arse again… I’m sure I can do better now
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Checking in at 116.33 days.
Ready for the week, I think. One of the things that was said to me by batshit, was “never tell anyone you shop on amazon, this is a highly corporate and professional field filled with Ivy League educated people”. First of all, it’s commercial real estate which is a freaking 6 week class. Second of all, I have dual degrees in computer and electrical engineering and quite the resume before starting this company 2.5 years ago. However, what did I do this weekend? Plowed an exorbitant amount of money into buying “high end” clothing. However, revoke my girl card, because I did all my shopping online and still hated it. I’d rather put a cigarette in my eye than walk into a clothing store. I will agree that I relaxed my style during Covid. Damn, sweats are the shit. However, a name brand suit does not dictate ability to do my job. I hate that I still considered what her opinion would be when deciding on clothes. I’m just not that person that thinks it’s OK to spend $600 on a dress just for the name attached. It’s not me. Never will be. I’ve had the same damn purse for over 10 years 
So fine, I fucking got a new one. Good lord.
@anon60334405 hang in there. I think if they mind hanging out with you sober, they may not be worth your friendship. You have so much to offer. My friends will often try to do non drinking events and I have to convince them that I don’t mind them drinking around me. Their drinking isn’t my problem, mine is. It feels great being a designated driver and a voice of reason when needed. You are so very special and my wish for you is to see yourself through our eyes. You’re incredible! Stay strong 
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@Tommo @Hailstrom This is one reason I didn’t want to stop. First reasonable stretches of sobriety (for me and my experiences in the past 2 years) I had were couples of 50 days and one longer of 198 days and I was every of those time obsessed on 3 things: sobriety, working out and nutrition. But my conception of sobriety wasn’t at the time what it is today: it was more restrictive in the way I isolate myself a lot, restraint me from doing a lot of things I could’ve done anyways, made me miserable in many ways. But I was sober so my life became more manageable and I did accomplish a lot of things. I was single at the time and felt lonely and didnt want to see someone. Obsessed with my “recovery” which wasn’t planned at it is now and was more a restraining order than a recovery. But like you say, it may be needed in the beginning, maybe I should’ve go further those days and it would have temper down, who knows…
And then I red somewhere that “you can’t workout your sobriety” which frightened me. I didn’t know how to get sober without being obsessed with working out and nutrition?! What is going to happen to my train of thoughts? What am I going to think about? Then I never been able to get back on the sober train for a reasonable stretch since December 2018. Since then, I was against getting totally sober because I believed it will become and obsession that will eat me. I ditched this forum and said that doing AA was not leaving alcohol but still making it the center of our life by talking and thinking about not drinking it all the time. I said things like that couples of weeks ago again. But the thing is I am obsessed with alcohol since I can’t remember, but at least 10 years, and if I check the curve of evolution of my obsession to it through time, it just keep getting higher and higher. SO… in a way or another, drinking or not drinking, of course I am going to be obsessed with my addiction, because it is how my brain is wired since I began drinking .
It took me nearly 2 years and on-and-off “I stop drinking” and “I can moderate” to get back to a similar point of being obsessed with not drinking. But this time is different. It is not just about not drinking, it is about everything surrounding not drinking and what it can provides me (versus what I could and have lost with alcohol). For me now it’s more about recovery than sobriety for itself. It try to recover from all those years and all the damages I’ve done to myself and others; I want to recover my health and especially my mental health which is all over the place right now; I want to recover to be better than I could’ve be with drinking; I want to recover and use what’ve learn in the past decade to help others and to grow.
It is hard to wired our brain to “want to not something”. It is easier to make our mind and align our behaviors to “want something”. So the battle between drinking and not drinking can be sometime really hard, especially in the beginning. I rather say now that I am obsessed in my recovery.
Another way to say that self-care is now at the center of my life, instead of Johnny Walker.
Sorry for the long post. Checking in btw 
Hope everyone having a good day
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100 x yes! There’s a point where it shifts, at least for me anyway. You work hard, build up the tool box, absord everything, maintain focus and not get complacent. You become more comfortable with sobriety, you stop that destructive behaviour. Then the focus becomes the rebuild, the recovery. And that’s when it gets really interesting 
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