Just came here to read and see how you all where doing and saw I had a special number of sober days: 950
Baked some cookies and now I have a reason why I can eat them all!! 
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Iām here, Iām alive and Iām sober.
Day 238
My oldest friend did drop his kid here yesterday. I said No, but my husband said yes for some reason. Iām not sure why. The kid is only 8 so heās playing with my boys. It hasnāt been as much trouble as I thought. But never have I seen my friend so destroyed, and Iāve known him almost all my life.
He was for once sober and hadnāt taken anything else, so we ended up having a very rare nowdays heart to heart conversation. And I remembered how much I miss his ānormalā state. We kinda stopped talking to each other my first serious attempt of staying sober, and eventually he got back to doing drugs,we live very close but when he did that I tried to cut it for good. Itās not as easy as it sounds thoug,cause this guy works with my husband and they are friends.
Anyway life has got him recently, his ex the kids Ma is heavily into drugs (she was an addict when they met already) and they have no contact, heās mother is in her death bed. He needs to go and pick up some relatives in Norway so they can say farewell to his Ma. Heās getting an experimental treatment for his hepatitis and the kid is causing all kinds of havoc in school.
So I get it, life is hard.
Unfortunately itās not on top here either tweenie and her Ma has taken all our energy for a very long time.
But when I talked to my friend yesterday he did get me in a better mood and actually provided a little bit of clarity. Hopefully I was able to do the same for him.
I told him that theyāre blaming me for everything in their investigation and he said that it was obvious that the Ma is a narcissist and Iām standing in her way of getting her will trough, and I have for 10 years.
He also said that if a bad childhood and experiences is all that makes a human being and can excuse every kind of behavior, all three of us. Me, him and my husband would have been very different people than we are today. And then he ended it with saying that me and him have survived shit most people doesnāt and yet Iām the most kind, loving and caring person he knows.
It was a really good pep talk, for me. And hopefully he gets himself on right track with that kind of mindset to eventually.
A bit of a strange moment considering his own journey and current situation, but Iām very grateful for it. If feels like it was exactly what I needed at this point.
Sometimes, in moments like this I do want to think that there is a god. Or at least a guardian angel sending people and insights our way.
I hope yāall are having a great Sunday. 
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Congratulations to 300 days 
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- Coffee on Sunday morning. One day of peace without building noise all around. Not very attractive weather either so I think Iāll stay home, do some chores, watch cycling on TV and drink too much coffee before switching to tea. Nothing special but just right for today. Sober and clean. Nice day to recoup and make up a plan for the coming week. Might go south for a day or 2 and do some cycling myself. I feel like it. I think I will. Have a good Sunday all. Clean and sober. Love from Amsterdam where last year the wisterias were in full bloom by now. This year all is a bit late. Never mind. It will come. One day at a time.
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Spring is late here to, as I wrote a few days ago. Hopefully that leads to a mild and warm fall instead.
Somedays all we need is a quiet day at home recharging, Sundays are perfect for that. I donāt know how it is in Amsterdam but here in my village everything besides the grocery stores is closed on Sundays.
Wishing you a wonderful day.
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Those day are gone in Amsterdam Sophia. Sunday is a busy shopping day here now. Except weāre still in lockdown, which will partly end on Tuesday. Thereās nothing I need from outside so Iāll stay in. Building activities are still forbidden on Sunday so thatās good. Have a nice Sunday too friend.
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@Mno Those flowers are gorgeous!
M8 D14
Bit frayed around the edges and resentful today. I can put my finger on why, and too trivial to go into really. Trying to dredge up some gratitude and enjoyment. Taking a bit of work, but not impossible. Nearly the end of the weekend for me. The rest of you lot have a great Sunday.
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Itās good to do this sometimes, especially when the usual spaces include our own heads.
I just returned from a 3 day trip to our mountain top, for this very purpose. Sort of a shakedown trip to get the place more ready for when my wife and daughter join me thereā¦ It was most enjoyable.
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happy sunday everyone
Checking in on day 315, have a great Sunday everyone!
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Glad youāre still enjoying the mountaintop, I was wondering since you hadnāt mentioned it in a while.
Thatās a nice looking camper set up you have, too.
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I spent most of the time working on whats left of the pile of trees bulldozed into a pile, when we had the driveway and camper pad built, last fall. Iāve whittled it down to about 10% of what it was, and did so with an axe and hand saw. I prefer hand tools since they force you to go slow, and consider your next move. Safer, and it burns calories! Very cathartic, with an almost zen-like quality. I now have a pile of logs big enough for a small log cabin, and will use them for various projects around the property such as trail stairs, tentpads, a split-rail fence, and a backstop for a small-bore shooting range. Whatās left will be firewood.
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On Friday night I had a big fire, burning a bunch of cut up limbs and pulled tree stumps for 5 hours. About 11:30 they coyotes started calling out to each other. One wasnāt too far away. Itād call, and then several others would answer from farther off. Saw a few shooting stars. Good for the soul.
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If you donāt like the philosophy of AA and prefer doing it alone your going to find it so hard, your own mind will always tell you the wrong stories. Try other groups like smart or at least write out your own daily plan and stick to it like your life depends on it. In most cases all us addicts need is a structure and support, support you can get here so use it to your advantage, asking for help before you drink is not weakness but strength. Drinking is just a cumulative of bad habits and routines that we have done for years so start breaking some of those links in the chain. If I went to the shop after work I would buy beer so surprise surprise I stopped going to the shop after work, not easy to start with but eventually the new routine stuck. Also remember it doesnāt matter how you feel - I want a drink, I need a drink, so fucking what it doesnāt matter, what matters is what you do about it. Next time you want to drink DM me bc thatās called taking action, start taking back control bc I donāt know if anyone has ever told you but You Donāt Have to Drink just Bc your Ego Tells You. 
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Thanks for the inspiration
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A big congratulations my friend!! 
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Day 9 and this time it feels different. Less cravings, less bumps on the brain chemical highway, it seems. Staying strong. I love all of your posts and it inspires me. Thank you one and all
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Day 317 clean and sober today. Feeling better physically then I was yesterday. Looking forward to finding out about the peer support position this coming week. If you all could keep me in your prayers, thoughts etc. Iād really appreciate that thank you! Have an amazing day today everyone, love you guys!!! 
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