Checking in sober. No desire to drinkntoday even after an annoyingly heated and manipulative conversation with my mother. I practiced boundaries and told her no and that is not a word she likes to hear. Boundaries and standing firm in my truth are a HUGE part of my recovery. It’s been a very relaxing day and I am so glad for that. Hope everyone takes great care of themselves. Peace.
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Good for you Margaret. Mom’s can push the envelope. 
I’ve noticed it becomes easier to set those boundaries the longer we’re sober.
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What we can’t do alone we can do together.
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Yeah that would be pretty great! If there ever is a TS yoga zoom we all have to agree to keep the cameras on our butts at all times, haha
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Day 35 Alcohol Free / Day 281 Cannabis Free
I’m staying at my sister’s tonight and we had a great time. Both processing a lot of things, so it’s just nice to have some one-on-one time to talk things through with someone I love and trust. No big decisions or anything, just process but that’s important.
Onward to another sober day…
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Congratulations on 1 week! Don’t let your guard down. Cravings are sneaky…at least for me.
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Day 86. Things are weird. I went for a long bike ride today and I realized that I have this strange melancholy creeping in. I rode past some dive bar and saw all the people sitting outside, enjoying the sunshine with their friends and beers. Bastards.
Oh well, home in bed. Sober. Early night, because I need to get up at an ungodly hour for an international call.
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@icebear maybe it’s better you didn’t know…but tim tams are everywhere these days! I’m not a big chocolate fan but tim tam slam has changed my life
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Omg I’m so freaking sad and emotional…have been crying on and off since I woke up.
Trying now to get through this day without drinking my way through it.
I hate roller coasters 
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I feel you Don’t give in because your future needs you! Reach out whenever you want! 
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Starke Wörter mein Freund, wir sind für dich hier… 
Das Leben ist da um zu lernen und wachsen. Sehe immer das Positive
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717 Days. The topic at my AA meeting last night was anger. I decided to just listen and not share in hopes of gaining some knowledge on how to manage it. Immediately following the meeting, I had to put my new knowledge into action.
I’ve been going out to dinner with 4 ladies after this meeting for the past year. Our little group has grown over the past month and the new ladies have taken over making the decision on where we go. They mentioned Thai food last week and I made it very clear I don’t like it. Well as soon as the meeting ends last night, they announced we were going to a Thai restaurant. I told the usual ladies I wouldn’t be joining and they got upset. I explained I hadn’t eaten all day and I’m not about to sit and drink water. They were more than willing to go someplace else but the new ladies weren’t budging.
Needless to say, I left very angry and went home. Now I’ve lost my appetite and didn’t know what to do with this anger. Drinking and drugging never crossed my mind but I had trouble releasing it.
Thankfully, when I got home, hubby let me vent and get it all out. He offered to take me out to dinner but I still had no appetite. I went to bed angry so that tells me I have a lot of work to do in this area.
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Vergnügungen
Der erste Blick aus dem Fenster am Morgen
Das wiedergefundene alte Buch
Begeisterte Gesichter
Schnee, der Wechsel der Jahreszeiten
Die Zeitung
Der Hund
Die Dialektik
Duschen, Schwimmen
Alte Musik
Bequeme Schuhe
Begreifen
Neue Musik
Schreiben, Pflanzen
Reisen
Singen
Freundlich sein
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- Coffee. Got a short spinning class coming up, working a late shift later. Don’t feel like both but I’m going to do them anyway. Show some self discipline today. I’m sober and clean. Life goes on, one day at a time and we better all make the best of it. Have as good a week as you all can friends. Clean and sober. Love from Amsterdam. This pic I made yesterday makes me think of my friend who left TS just now.
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0: I have relapsed.
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Umph that is a bit rubbish. Nice that your usual crowd wanted to accommodate you though… Are they the ones a while back you felt like you were a bit on the outside of?
What is it you’re angry about? Maybe a Tara Brach RAIN practice might help? Recognise, allow, investigate, nurture.
Regardless of the reasons, your feelings are valid. But understanding why you are angry might help you to chart a more positive course of action that helps navigate these types of situations in future?
To me it sounds like you set a boundary and stuck to it. That’s a good thing! Is it possible the new people were trying to do the same? Or just really looking forward to trying this restaurant and didn’t realise what a hard boundary this is for you?
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Busy day for me today. Got a phone call this morning about a possible job and another this afternoon with the mental health team. Feeling pretty nervous about both.
Also want to go to the pharmacist to get some information on ferritin, got to find a birthday gift for my boyfriend and have a (contested) five year old parking charge to deal with that a debt collection agency has just sent me a random letter about. Then walk the dog, do some housework, send some emails etc.
In a right spin at the moment, don’t know if I’m coming or going. Angry and upset with myself that doing random incidental chores feels like a busy day. Trying to find some acceptance and compassion but really just feeling overwhelmed and inadequate.
Such is life, this too shall pass and all that!
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Needed to read these words right now @siand “this too shall pass” thank you. I logged on here just now looking for something, as I’m not feeling good right now at all! I’ve had a devastating afternoon, and I’m trying not to let it overcome me. I’ve had a “fight” with one of my closest friends. We’ve been friends for 11yrs. She has decided, given what’s happened and been said today, that our friendship will now come to an end. This upsets me deeply.
This whole thing steemed from me being honest with her, telling her that I am disappointed and upset by a decision she made that affected me and hurt me. She doesn’t see it the same way. I asked for time. But during that time, she got upset, felt like I was ignoring her and then got angry. Now, it feels irreparable 
I hope that not true. I hope, “this too shall pass”. I know these feelings will. Will see what happens to our friendship.
Want to numb and run away right now. But I won’t. I will trust and respect myself.
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253 days
@Dazercat , Eric shall look for the foody thread, and post my dish, did not take a picture of kitchen mess but will do, and show the wreckage i am in the kitchen 
@Its_me_Stella another insightful share, really hits home (masa 
)
@Rockergirl92 congratulations on your special milestone of 90 days great work 
@Wakikki fantastic on hitting your 30 days you worked so hard for this, onwards and upwards
@zzz yeah you did it well done
@apes2020 oh my word, you still had food on the brain when sleeping 
i like your choice but squirm at the crumbs
@pinkcloud hey you on hump day well done for your days the first couple are tough and you done it
@KellyKelly sorry to read you feeling low, keep reaching out on here
@Lisa07 i have anger issues and working hard to contain it, not easy work… however those ladies are selfish and i would have had same reaction. I have a similiar food group we eat monthly and always get food for everyone. But anger makes me feel rubish and lose rational thoight, hope you feeling better today… maybe a simple group rule “food for all” approach
No rushing anywhere today hence lengthy post. I have experienced pretty stable mood over last month which is unusual but nice. Used to ups, downs, sideways, spin the lot and this includes self analysis which is tiring. So feeling more free in mind is giving me energy and an inkling of positivity, wow for me.
Food shop soon, then pulling weeds on my drive, sit and read as another day of lovely sunshine, then a river swim this evening.
Have a good, strong sober day 
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Oh no that sounds awful. Big hugs 
Hopefully she is just reacting in response to her emotions and as the feelings change then so will her response - as may yours! Time will tell. Good on you for trying to communicate your feelings with her and sorry to hear it hasn’t worked out how you would have hoped 
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