Ah that is upsetting, but i am sure when your friend takes time to think about things and the value of your relationship she will understand and you can talk some more. Your honesty demonstrates your inner trust and respect for you. It will pass 
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It happened. I hope youāve learned something from it. Todayās a new day. Make it a sober one Kevin. ODAAT as it is for all of us. Good youāre here.
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So grateful to make 7 days AF and 2 weeks cannabis free.
Today was rough as. I think I cried most of the day.
Thank you everyone for sharing your stories and for your support. Off to bed now 
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Day 391
Feeling awkward and out of sorts, and that helter-skelter feeling of crappiness->poor coping strategies->more crappiness is happening. No thoughts of drinking, that just isnāt in my repertoire now, but still not feeling good.
Almost as if they can read my mind my kids brought up my past drinking today at dinner. It just came up, and I am glad my kids feel they can talk to me about it.
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Exactly the point. Life is life. We deal with it as good as we can. We can work on our crappy ways of dealing with stuff of which drinking was the worst. Drinking would only make it worse. As you know. Hope tomorrow will be better Flo. Hugs.
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Nice one broeder
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Hey everyone, checking in on day 449. I hope everyone had a good weekend 
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Checking in with 59 days (say whaaaaat!!?!?!).
Just feeling good about my life at this moment.
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Day 451 clean and sober today. I think somethingās in the air @Misokatsu Iāve been feeling off and awkwardly yucky for the last few days too. I donāt want to drink or use either but something is weird. Anyway I know it will pass soon. Have an awesome day everyone, love you guys! 
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I had over 60 days and I let the poor me take over yesterday evening and drank. Itās my birthday and wedding anniversary today - Iām staying at my motherās though I come and go daily to my own house to see my wife and kids. I canāt keep it together long enough to gain any trust at home.
Iām seriously depressed today. F**k this illnessā¦ like who the hell wants to hurt themselves again and again.
Iāve been going to aa and taking my time before asking someone to be my sponsor but that is changing today. Iāve been trying to contact someoneā¦ so before the day is done I hope to have asked him.
Keep safe folks.
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Keep your head up @Kmcc123, I think finding a sponsor is a great idea! Focus on you and your sobriety and everything else will fall into place. Proud of you for coming here and sharing, you can do this!!!
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I donāt know why it made me so angry @siand. I should have felt proud of myself for sticking to my boundary but yet this anger just built up inside. Maybe it was FOMO or my old way of thinking where I want to control everything. Possibly hormonal. Whatever the cause, itās something to pay attention to and find better ways to cope. Not eating because of otherās actions is just like my drinking history. If someone made me angry Iād drink over it. Old behaviors coming back that need to be squashed.
Yes, this is the same group that made me feel left out in the past. I actually brought that up with them at one of our dinners and we talked it out. I was proud of myself for getting those feelings out and healing those friendships. Something I would have never done in the past.
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Thank you for the advice @Hopeful777! Iām going to bring up that rule. We never had the need for one with a small group but now itās warranted with all the different personalities.
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It took me a few tries, Kevin. Actually I fell off on day 59 once! It just makes you that much stronger. Enjoy your day, no more beating you up!
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Thank you @pinkcloud and @Dazercat. I am finding a lot more confidence in sobriety and the more I am away from booze, the more confidence and self worth I find in all aspects. It is like saying no to booze is the pillar from which all other boundaries and healthier relationships are falling into place. I know I just have to be aware of major stressors and triggers coming along that led me to going back to drinking 7 years ago. I was sober for 2 years and life changed for the better. Then several major issues arose and we see where I went with that, so I need to keep that in focus. Anyway, thanks for being there you guys.
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Checking in at the end of day 246.
Tired. Ready for bed. Sober. Grateful.
Have a great sober day, wherever you are.
Goodnight. 
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Morning friends! Day 409. Meeting went good last night except we accidentally went to a CMA meeting instead of AA. But it was interesting. I mean what it all boils down to is that we are all addicts so I could relate.
Anyway, heading to Utah for a few days. Taking my crystals to do a nice little new moon ceremony tonight. Doesnāt get any better than being in the wilderness! Have a great day everyone! 
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Day 7 today. Made a hearty breakfast, tons of coffee, and getting ready to take the kids to the trampoline park before they have to go back to their dadās for the week. Deep breath, this is where I fell off last time. I get lonely and depressed and thatās a major trigger. Iāll be taking my dog for a walk after I drop them off, clear my head and see some trees. Thatās the plan, and Iāll definitely check in later. Happy Monday!
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