Checking in for the second time today on day 15.
An old acquaintance contacted me and that really triggerd my addict voice.
So I put on a recovery podcast and went grocery shipping. Bought whatever I wanted cos even if I spent too much money there, its cheaper than me acting out.
Came home and cooked a delicious and healthy dinner.
Not today, not tomorrow. Under any and all circumstances, this demon will be defeated.
1 calendar year! Woohoo! 
Right on! Great choice! And ya 
splurge on food sometimes. It is cheaper than using/drinking 
what did u make for supper?
Had some set backs with the holidays and my dad/grandmother death but trying to engage more with the supports I have. Grateful for all of you!
768 days without videogames
3 days without technology abuse
Today was pretty good.
Bought Bowie a new toy.
Bought compostable poop bags because I donāt want to fuck around with plastic bags, ruining the environment.
Got him some of his favourite snacks.
Bowie decided to jump into a didge, so I had to shower him. Heās really soft right now and I love it.
Listened to music most of the day.
Spent less than 3 hours on my phone, so thatās good.
Tomorrow Iām going to my dad. The man responsible for many of my issues. Heās a conservative, homophobic, racist, transphobic, sexist man who thinks itās okay to beat children. Which sucks. But I also know that he likely has pretty severe autism making him unable to reason properly. And he probably has severe PTSD himself which he has hidden deeply. So I can empathize with his flaws.
I do fear what will happen if I donāt have any distractions though. I donāt want to have an argument with him. Or even talk about the past, weāve done it more than necessary and heās too stubborn to form new opinions.
So it will likely trigger cravings and Iām kind of worried about my recovery.
This is good though, because during all previous attempts I told myself I could watch TV when Iām with him. So Iām taking this attempt more serious
I tried so hard whilst using to try and be something Iām not When in fact if I had just given myself time to get to know the real me I was who I always wanted to be in the first place.
serious question, what do you class as technology. The whole world is technology, this phone or using the microwave, a stereo. The list is endless really. Your doing great BTW whatever it is 
Honestly, Iām still figuring it out for myself. Gaming is definitely technology and so is TV. And then it becomes tricky. Reading the meme thread feels like abuse, but endlessly browsing TS not so much? Listening to podcasts feels like abuse, but listening to music doesnāt. I think that the best description would be ātechnology used recreationally, which hinders me from focusing on other tasks counts as abuseā. I can make homework when listening to music, not when listening to podcasts.
if you are gaining something like knowledge or help and advice it can only be a good thing. If itās tik tok all hope is lost Iām afraid 
I was actually thinking about you the other day, I was on cod zombies and was nearly about to piss myself instead of stop a live game. Luckily we all died and I was saved but I thought about a post you wrote ages ago and thought yep I might have yet another problem. Iāve just got an addictive personality 
Yesssssssssss!!! You did it!!! Huge congratulations. So honored to be on this journey with you!! 
Jan, I know we dont really chat much on here or anything but I do read ur posts and have for quite some time. I just want to say how impressed I am with your progress. I feel like you are constantly striving to be a better person. Reading this post just amazed me! Bcuz ur so self aware and uv come such a long way. And I want u to know that itās so noticeable with how far uv come. Iāve never dealt with an addiction to technology but I can only imagine at how maybe confusing that might be bcuz it is all around us. And itās not as blsck and white as just ānever using it againā like drugs and alcoholā¦ so I feel like a person with this addiction would really need to know themselves really well and ti determine what is okay and what is abuse. Anyway, Iām impressed! And Iām proud of you keep up the amazing work!!!
Woo hoo! Congratulations on a full year @Singtone! 
So proud of you for reaching out when things got tough. Youāre a great example of what to do when we board the struggle bus.
Janā¦good luck on this visit! Sounds like it could be rough. You have given the situation much thought, it appears. I admire your ability to empathize with someone who has hurt you.
Congrats Tony!!!
You did it, I am so freaking happy!!!
Congrats Dan!!! Great pace, Iām right behind you.
Night check in. Dodged a trigger tonight. Eating some ice cream now and watching a sick movie on Netflix. The lost boys literally one of my old time favorites. Have a good night everyone
Day 107 going strong!
