Hi, how are you doing ?
Im taking it really easy today. I havent even started them yet .
I’m happy to be on day 3 again but I’m kind of disappointed because it would have been day 33. I know I’ve really got to stop thinking that way but I had to reset on day 24 and then I had to reset again and I’m still hanging on to that anger with myself. I really got to let it go because I’m feeling really depressed… But it’s not just that it’s the lack of sleep too. I was going to try to lay down and get some extra rest, but all I could do when I lay down was think about all the things I have to do. My husband’s parents are coming for dinner tonight so I have to clean the bathroom and get some salads prepped. I’m just going to do it get those things done right now and then maybe I can have a little lay down this afternoon. Yep instead of focusing on the fact that I’m so tired I’m just going to get up and go and get these things done right now. I’ll check in later I’m hoping I’ll be able to have a rest and feel great tonight. Still haven’t decided what to do about the wine in the house but I think my husband said he’s going to pick up a bottle for his mother-in-law anyway and I’m just going to stay strong. That’s probably not the best idea but I know I won’t drink tonight. I’ll probably be checking in later for support and then I’ll just have to dump the rest of the wine if there’s any left after tonight.
This is how a shame cycle starts. I got stuck on one for 12 years… it just got to the point that I gave up trying. I don’t want that for you, so try to have some compassion for yourself. In the last 33 days you have had 27 sober days. That’s fucking GREAT, celebrate that! Eventually all your days are going to stick together and you will get those big stretches of consecutive days but I assure you they will be much harder for you to attain when you are being hard on yourself.
Big hugs.
I’m doing better today thanks for asking! Was a super rough day tho yesterday. But I’m okay now.
Waking up on day 3. Day light savings ended so the watch says 6am and the mobile says 5am . Thought a smart watch would of synced itself.
Have been scrolling around on here for about 30 mins, excited I’m on day3, body still a little sore but Not like the last 2 days and I’m staving. I usually just have water and black coffee in the morning but will eat something this morning.
Little nervous for the week ahead but also feeling hopeful
It may be worth thinking about the access factor, and how that may make you more vulnerable - if not tonight, than the next time you are triggered. Would your family be open to a few nights of dinner without alcohol? Try making a mocktail recipe instead? Some sober support, and then they drink on their own time? If not possible, make a habit of pouring it out and posting about it?
Just some ideas that may or may not apply.
I dont know your whole dynamic, but since i remember you wrote about its presence being a factor in a relapse, reading that i feel worried.
theres substances in the house I have access to (my roommate offered me a fancy beer the other day but i declined and mentioned i stopped 100%, and he was suppportive)
but if i had stuff of my own or bought it for others id want to use it more, or if i was in a bad way.
Checking in
Day47
Normally I would be stressed abit at work, but today is going well. I’m grateful for my ability to connect and interact with others. My client had a horrible day yesterday. She trashed her place, awoled, and then damaged 6 vehicles in her neighborhood. She didn’t sleep well either. So this morning we chatted, I ate lunch with her and encouraged her to clean up her unit. She tidied up with my help. Then I sat with her on the front steps. We chatted about yesterday’s incident (she brought it up) and we chatted about what to do next time she is upset. Then we went for a quick walk. Got her to laugh about walking bunnies on leashes Lol. I’m thankful that I can be of help to my client and that I am not stuck in my own thoughts about using later. She is doing much better today and I am feeling better today myself too!
I will not drink tonight and if there’s any left I will pour it out and I will post about it. I’m totally fine telling my own parents that I am not drinking at all and can’t have it around but it’s really different with my husband’s parents. I had a bottle of gin in the house for 23 days before I touched it. I’m not saying that was a good idea I’m just saying I know I can get through tonight but if there’s a bottle of wine in the fridge that’s open yes it will be tempting so I will not let that happen… Or I’m still trying to convince my husband to buy the non-alcoholic wine… We’ll see how that goes. I’ll let you know, and I really appreciate your support and suggestions
Thank you
Hey everyone. Mostly through day 4 today. However I am getting intense cravings right now. I don’t have anything here at the house, but I feel like going to get something. I am trying different things to try to take my mind off of it right now, but my mind is just racing right now. Thought I would check in here first before going to get something.
Good luck tonight @Miranda Sounds like you have a good plan. Keep checking in if you need it.
Evening check in, day 56.
I have been on here a lot without writing through the late pm/evening. It totally works! I had a massive craving after the journey to our hotel. Normally the reward for arriving is a big glass of wine. I was a bit grumpy that first 10 minutes in the restaurant, but once I had started my rose lemonade I was a lot better. Now tucked into bed with my family around me, my book and a herbal tea. Birthday yesterday, holiday today, taking it odaat is really working on the potential triggers.
Good plan, keep distracting yourself. I ate a lot more in those early days. Things I tried…shower/bath, walk (even around the block), cleaning, eating, I downloaded games onto my phone - lots of instant gratification and distractions. Stopped playing them now but really helped for at least the first month.
Well done on the 4 days
2 months. Dreamt I had a couple of beers last night, that it was OK and hid it from my family. Bad dream.
Told a few mates I am off the grog this week. All were cool and still told me to drop in for a tea or coffee.
Good things happening in the next few weeks.
Bought a new bike yesterday. Off to race in about an hour.
Busy Sat at work, but the day is flying.
Thought about staying positive in these threads instead of bringing old shit up. I mean, it’s already in the past, what happened happen. Today is a new day, I need to move on, create new memories.
Much love everyone. Take care.
Day 170, trying to stay positive not breaking down I got some of my usual normal negative feed back when I posted on my FB. Maybe I don’t have a eye for art. I was seriously so proud and loved my work. I’ve seen ppl come out of shops with not much crazy better work and everyone will love it. Recently this one person got a tattoo from a shop, didn’t have great lines the fisherman’s hands looked like boxes and everyone loved it. But when I do a tattoo literally everyone will point and pick out everything and make me out like I suck. But really I’m just trying to turn it into positive on what I can do better. And just deal with it I geuss. Broke down and baught some pre workout much love stay positive Mike, you are a amazing artist you do matter, your a great father and your going to go far in life never give up man keep pushing
I have a sore throat. Good thing is I can’t even think about alcohol.
I hope you beat that anxiety!
Can you find a different forum of tattoo artists? I wouldn’t bother with fb. Life’s too short to let their pettiness get to you, Mike.
Hi Kat here checking in at Day 241. Having a quiet day with a couple of my kids but hope to hit an online meeting tonight.
Hope everyone had a great sober day!
Kat
I thought I was hitting 60 days tomorrow night so this was quite a surprise.
Apparently I’m getting a green key ring from home group on Monday night, super excited!!
Thanks Donna it wasn’t my tattoo groups, I got positive feed backs in those. It was the ppl in my home town. I try to share my work for more clientele. And instead get ripped apart and picked on