That wall looks awesome. It’s so nice to have color on the walls. I’m glad to hear things are going well on your end.
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Good evening,
Congratulations to @tomek @paper_boats and everybody who succeed today and reach great milestones. I am going to follow you.
Workday was not busy, I have found some time and booked a 2-night mini vacation for Easter for the family, in a nice spa hotel with child-friendly places and programs nearby, just 70 minutes distance from our home. Trying to compensate being a drunk @ss bitch and letting my nearest and dearest down so many times. I am going to arrive home quite late, take a bath, have some family time, read, pray and sleep. See you tomorrow, take care.
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So, happy spring equinox, all. 
Tomorrow will be a full week off caffeine, a very reduced amount of gabapentin and a halved dose of nightly clonidine (those two given legally and for very legitimate issues; taken as prescribed–I just want off now), though this is the second step down on the clonidine (reducing by splitting it into quarters) and the gabapentin over the last few weeks.
I’m tired. God I’m so tired. I had a few blissful nights where I slept 12 hours and slept deeply, but now sleep is fleeting and light. When I do sleep, I am inevitably woken up by my 20 year old cat whether it’s for food, to have me open the blinds in the office, because she can’t “find” me in the dark, or simply needs loves. She sleeps peacefully during the day though… 
Good thing I love her.
I’m sort of a pro at withdrawal at this point from everything I’ve given up (and how many times I’ve “given” things up), but it still sucks. I’m keeping my eyes on the prize though. I’m giving up the lightweights now, and as far as withdrawal goes, this is a breeze, but I am someone who works best on 10 hours a night, so the sleep part is hard.
I’m not really officially keeping track of my time on these. Once all is said and done, I start one big master counter. That’s my prize.
@anon53116147 They look nice. The mandala is really nice. You will always find flaws in what you do, but you did a good job. Glad the client was happy.
@paper_boats great job on 6 months! Also, write what you feel no matter how long. Because I tend to be rather prolific in words at times, I’ve found that the “hide details” arrow, that you can find under the gear above the comment when writing box can be very helpful.
@Charlie_C Good point there. It’s easy to get complacent. I remember once I walked out to the mailbox that I shared with other people and there was a bunch of sobriety chips just laying on the ground. To this day I don’t know if someone blew their sobriety and dumped them, or if they were accidently dropped, but I remember feeling really sad when I saw them and thinking that was how easy it was to lose the genuine thing. I ended up picking them up and setting them on top of the boxes with the hope that whoever dropped/dumped them would be able to find them if the loss had been accidental.
@Dolse71 Great job on your 18 months!
@Dazercat | @Jmillwill I used to manage a full sized airport restaurant/bar (freshly made food, meeting room, lounge, etc.) and there were a few times we would have someone come in and get so sloshed before their flight that we legally had to notify airport security (oh the things I’ve seen 
). But some people would be just under that line and I knew they were blasted, but it was like they were operating on “auto pilot”. @Jmillwill how do you feel about your ability to speak now?
@Tomek great job on your 500/10 days! Seriously way to go!
@Dmcg1987 Great job on the 180 days!
@liv_m You can do this. I believe in you. You are stronger than even you know. 
@Dansig Thank you for your service, sir. And I’m very pleased you made it through without dying considering the last 20 years.
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Hello guys.
Just checking in day 8. The few last days was a bit tiring to me so I took a break today. Just relax, letting my body recover. Will be hitting the gym tomorrow.
Anyway guys, hope you enjoy your day.
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Day …… you all know I don’t keep track
I slept like shit, I have a massive migraine. And we’ll feeling blah.
Comes from a few things
I had a close friend who I enjoyed talking to I believe mistake my words, and got upset which is understandable. Especially regarding a hot topic, and it pretty much ended our friendship, kinda sad, it’s nice to have someone just want to chat, ask about your day, things like that without an motive other than I enjoy our friendship. Only thing I can do is apologize and try to explain myself but I can’t be responsible for someone else’s feelings only my own
I’m getting frustrated with the fact that I can’t say no to people, a relationship that ended, is now gonna be staying with me for a few days while they get their house worked on. It’s one of those I can’t expect you to stay at home no heat, no water, kinda thing, and hotels here are very expensive. Even the cheap ones that look like places you go to score hookers and crack are on par with like marriot prices elsewhere. But it makes me feel uncomfortable
I’m getting tired of people who don’t have any investment in me magically taking ownership of me, like you wanted to go live you life, you did now I’m supposed to be here waiting, or you want to corner me nah fuck that. If there was anything I learned it’s that if I want to reach my goals and dreams I can’t have certain things holding me back.
I have a close friend from work talking about road-tripping. And I love road tripping. So I had to ask cause she wants me to share driving with her. It’s to marry her boyfriend who’s in the federal prison system. I’m not gonna discuss his charges, but there’s a ton of red flags. Such as he’s the best friend of her kids father, and the fact he can’t move out of his state unless he has ties to another. So that’s why she wants to marry him. And I’m all for driving cross country, but I feel like I don’t want to be part of something that seems like she’s getting scammed,
I got a few auditions to prepare for one seems like a real good opportunity they have a management co and all, kinda a industrial/classic rock mix with a gothic appearance, not exactly my forte but it’s worth a shot.
I also have my company asking me about considering a opportunity in Florida, which seems really enticing everyone here knows I hate the cold weather. And I have made a few friends in our Florida location after having meetings location swaps , and fantasy football, and basketball, but I have close friends that I live with. That have been nothing more than helpful and cool as fuck. But I also don’t want to live my life with a group of dudes forever, I got goals like I wanna buy a house, have investment income, travel the world. All things people think are crazy,
My oldest son, decided to smoke some pot, and what made it worse is he was afraid to tell me, he opened up to his mom about it, and she told me, it felt really fucked, like I talk to both of my kids daily, we have a very unique relationship and they know they can tell me anything, he was afraid I would get mad. I just asked him well what did you think? He said it just gave me anxiety and a headache. So he got my reaction. I’m just really hoping it doesn’t go from there
Yeah that was a lot
I think the best thing for me today is to drown out the outside world, prep for auditions work on this book that’s supposed to help my guitar technique improve since I lost some from my seizure.
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Good afternoon all! Checking in on day 213! Very windy but still warmish weather so doing some inside work today. After a few weeks of digging around I decided to switch my degree to a bachelors in counseling with a specialization in substance abuse and dependency. With my health issues not looking like my back will ever be back to normal I have to pick something other than manual labor and could use my experience to help hopefully! Hope everyone has a great day!
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Can definitely see where the migraine comes from. Looking forward to hearing how the auditions go!
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Wow glad to see ur sober days keep increasing Richard! This is amazing!!! 
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So sorry to hear about what happened with your friend. It’s bad enough when a friendship ends, but when it is over something that was a misunderstanding, I kind of think that’s worse. You are right though, you can’t be responsible for another person’s feelings. There comes a point when you’re a slave to making sure other people are happy, and that’s not how life is supposed to be.
Your son probably really values what you think of him, and kids are sensitive to approval in general anyway. I’m glad you were able to talk with him and hopefully, this will be something that he can remember in the future if he’s worried about sharing something with you–that he can.
Best of luck on your auditions.
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Just checking in on day 19.
I was speaking to my parents this afternoon on the phone and they did nothing but talk about alcohol. They know I’ve quit, and had told me they would be mindful of my choice. I think it’s one of those “Don’t mention the war” things though. Alcohol has always been a major force in my family, and that’s just something I have to deal with. Every celebration, every commiseration, every day really. I want to change all that for my kids though.
Feeling pretty strong today.
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Thank you I get them all the time,
I had a TBI years ago, it also gives me seizures luckily I haven’t had one since 2020,
I like your input. @Chiron to the rescue lol,
I’m really excited about this audition just cause it’s bigger than just your local bar band that plays on Saturday nights for 50 bucks. I’ve done enough of that
I been out of the industry overall for about 8 years, other than some open mic stuff acoustic stuff for free beer and the such. So I feel like I’m skipping a step. But if it works it works
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I had previously managed 18 months, but when I lapsed and had a few beers my dad said “nice to see you back”
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Day 10
Morning was pretty tricky. Hurry up to work office to take papers / FLAT TIRE! / change tire / hurry up to object / TRAFFIC JAM!!
Well evening was mostly about looking for 2 new tires on back. Making food.
See You tomorrow! Good luck.
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What a beautiful day though.
Checking in on day 17
It was a long day, lots of Covid Cases.
Good night sober team, stay strong
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Just hopping on say hey and much love
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Congrats on 4 months sis!
Keep it up.
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It’s private Donna,
On the flip side Tampa is really calling my name the more you post lol
I meant to send that private to Mike! 
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