Today was a bit stressful having my youngests birth mom here. I could tell she was frustrated we didn’t go do anything. I think she thought we’d be going places but with 1 in a wheelchair and another with mobility issues we can’t just get out all the time. My youngest was bored and kept asking me to go down the road to play but I had to tell her that her birth mom flew up here to spend time with her. Tomorrow I’m sending all the girls to town for the day. That will give me a break as well; I have a daily routine I like to follow.
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I love this! It truly is a superpower.
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Checking in. Doing well, no crazy cravings but I have been really focusing on keeping myself busy. I worked, went to the gym and watched some TV. I feel like I am missing something. I don’t feel like this is me living this life. I feel like I am someone else watching over me just waiting to see me relapse and fail. I know that might sound crazy but has anyone felt like this? It’s the strangest feeling. It is almost as if I don’t believe that I am sober. I feel numb. The first 10 days were great, I felt alive. Now I feel like I this can’t be real. I feel like I am watching myself in a movie.
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Alot of people feel great in the beginning and then hit a wall. It’s completely normal. It’s our body getting used to the new normal. Before my relapse about a month in I started waking up feeling foggy and just felt like I was there and not living. It lasted about a week and it was gone.
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Thank you for your response, that makes me feel better. I am also just exhausted. I have to take a 30 minute powernap just to function the rest of the day. I recently had a full blood work make up (part of my recovery) and my iron is low but nothing crazy. Everything else can back ok except high B12 and some other slight issues. I am so tired during the day now.
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I definitely relate to you there man. But I think there are healthy splurs. And I believe the Les Paul would be a healthy one that’s your dream man. I won’t buy another Harley or motorcycle for a while again, I learned last year it was a big trigger for me, won’t be buying no Xboxes, no dirtbikes or four-wheelers those are all things I love and could ration saying well it’s better then drugs and alcohol. Now my new tattoo machine was expensive, but that is my passion and I see it as my job and becoming a healthy professional version of myself. If and when you do upgrade I can’t want to see pics. I’ve actually been thinking of picking up a cheaper guitar and just having fun practicing.
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Yeah I definitely relate I literally remember last year having like 250 days sober and thinking jees man it feels just like I got sober yesterday it didn’t feel real at all, and Honestly yeah are addiction the devil is waiting for us to fail and watching,wanting us to think we’re cured doing push ups just excited to take us back. Don’t let him win. And when I relapsed after my year, nobody tried to stop me, no friends family it’s not there journey ppl acted upset a little bit not really. We only have ourselves and I learned alot from relapse certainly not worth it
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See I been playing shecters since around 2003,
They are my go to, but les Paul jr, cool guitar, also 4 grand.
Then there’s the other two I want, a Randy Rhonds Jackson cause I love them things, and Randy was a huge inspiration to me and a fender jaguar not really guitars I would use everyday but want Yano
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Checking into day 48 of abstinence from both of my once life-destructive addictions…
I feel overall good! 
Who’d have thought my life could ever change for the better… But it very slowly but surely is. Here I am(!), growing one step and day at a time. This is just the beginning, life is worth fighting for my friends…
If you care enough for long enough, no matter how deep, there really is no limit to potential 
Everybody here is on a special journey of their own…
Let today shine fam 
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Day 185 checking in odaat everyone have a good day 
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Day 41! Missed my check in yesterday on day 40.
But hey, life can get busy sometimes! That’s a great thing sometimes. Keeps my mind occupied and gives me less time for my mind to wonder off to the land of booze and hangovers….
Anyway. I’m thankfull that I’ve made it this far. Everyday I try to stay as mindfull about my sobriety as I can. Everyday I remind myself of why I’m doing this.
So take it say by day.
Have a great sober and clean friday 
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1021
Coffee. Free day and feeling OK. Promised myself to write an application today and I will. As well as doing some house chores. Maybe go for a spinning class but I did 130km/80m yesterday to and from therapy so not totally sure about my legs today. Will see.
One thing I’m sure of I won’t do is go to the bar at “borreltijd”(drinking hour) which is around five and drink so much that by 8 all I can do is crawl home or fall of my bike and hurt myself. As I’ve done more than once in the past. Never again.
In fact I’ll stay sober and clean, just for today. Just like I hope you all will do, as it’s the only way for us to have a chance at a better happier life. Have a good Friday all. Love from my ride home yesterday evening.
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Checking in Day 1030
Happy Friday everyone!
Have just been trying to catch up on the checkin thread but oh my lordy there was +300 posts unread 
our little community here is growing!! 
It’s been a fairly good week. I visited a local Buddhist temple with my eldest 2 on Monday and explored the gardens and did some meditating in their public hall - it was a beautiful experience. So much so, that my eldest and I have signed up to do their beginners workshop in May. Classes run every Sunday and include guided meditations and Buddhist teachings, we are really looking forward to it! As usual, with me being very all or nothing… I visited our library and have stocked up on books all about Buddhism lol. My mum laughed and said “and here is your next phase, I wonder how long this one will last…!” 
at least it is a healthy interest and I’m really motivated to explore it more deeply.
My sons TMS therapy begins next Thursday. 30 daily sessions, it’s going to be a huge commitment for both him and me but we are ready to do this and are really hopeful for a positive outcome.
This weekend I’m planning some definite me time and tomorrow night going to a local AA meeting that I haven’t been to before.
ODAAT I plan to make my weekend a sober one, I hope you all do also 
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Thank you Mno
Great day to you today. Good luck on writing and submitting your application.
Beautiful picture. Although long must have been a beautiful ride. Goals now clean are to definitely travel more So much of the world to explore.
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Hey Becsta
Wow. Love all of this. How wonderful. What a beautiful temple and glad that you and your son will be able to walk this path together. Happy Meditating.
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It’s Friday. I’m glad. Need a rest day. Feel a sore throat coming on. My addict that wants to go go.go has been trying to creep up.
Proud that I am noticing it and pausing to.change the channel to something more serene.
Good Day all. Sober 24
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Hello all, checking in on Day 48.
Beautiful pictures @Mno and @Becsta Both have a calming effect.
I have a day off today so been spring cleaning, just such beautiful weather at the moment. Feeling very positive in general, sleeping amazingly well every night, my health issues aren’t perfect but seeing an improvement in the fatigue.
Yesterday I finally finished 2 stories that I have been reading to the children (we all pile into my bed and read a couple of chapters of each a night). We started doing this MONTHS ago!! I was so flakey with it as so tired. Since giving up drinking (after the first week of exhaustion) we have consistently read most nights, and if not it was for a good reason. It has replaced my nightly ritual of wine and I look forward to it now. Giving up drinking has been such a gift as I am a better Mum. The kids are getting on better as well, and am sure idea it is because I am calmer, and these little routines are helping us all
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Day 12 no alcohol. Rainy day. Can’t wait to hit the gym and smash these Triceps.
Good day!
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Welcome to the beautiful world of Buddhism Becsta ! 
Don’t forget to read Thich Nhat Hanh !
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