Anxiety through the roof! I am not an anxious person, but shit. I got approved for time off and I’m going to se a person from my past so to speak and well kinda present. The expectations given and the realities I see I feel are way different. And I think that’s going to ruin the experience I can’t even sit still
@HoofHearted definitely I mean I play metal that’s my main genre, but I dabble In other genres as well. But something about having different guitars is just well a must. I didn’t know you had a gretsch, I been thinking about getting a Rickennacker, as well as a tele, cause as a hired gun you can never have enough to cover all the genres, a doublekneck is on the list too
Checking in on day 145
No desire to drink whatsoever. I’ve been without washing machine since 1 week, and due to the strike in transportation in Spain that has been going on for almost 2 weeks now, a new washer won’t be delivered until in 10-14 days approx… It’s so important to get along well with your neighbors, to a point that you can bring over your dirty laundry!
Thank you for your response. Sorry to hear about your old Kitty too.
I really appreciate your advice and I’m happy to say I went out and got a cat post with levels to put at the end of my bed. I think you are very right that if I allow her to wake me up when she needs the litter box then it will become habit. I’m going to try to worry a little bit less about not being able to watch her 100% of the time because things are going to happen with the kitten, and some things may get wrecked but with the scratch post at the end of the bed should help her get on and off and then she can find the litter box on her own. I just don’t have much of an option to block an area off and I don’t want to lock her in another room. I’m going to try this suggestion first and I really appreciate it♥️ thanks for caring.
I hope your and your cat can have a peaceful sleep tonight.
@Miranda Lack of sleep is a killer, whatever the reason. But alcohol induced sleep is lighter and less refreshing. Plus the heaviness the next day. Which u know of course, but we like to kid ourselves that ‘this time’ it will help. Get back up on it
@Sanuk The feathers are so realistic I thought some were stuck on!
@Its_me_Stella Your continual work on ur program is admirable and inspiring
@Fury@HoofHearted We have the same musical instrument issue, but I have lots of books and earrings for my husband to bring up.
I’m on the struggle bus today too…. But you’re strong. You’ve got this. Just get through today. I’m just waiting for my son to go to bed so I can binge some tv and awake fresh and hangover free in the morning. You’ve. Got. This.
Hello sober friends. I am checking in on day 287. Winter decided to return here. Blah. Busy Friday today and I am glad the weekend is finally here. Hope everyone is doing well.
Over the 22 years of counselling and previous step work and therapy and meetings and treatment centres and what not, I feel like I know myself fairly well but then again I’m not sure if I would be able to pinpoint certain things about myself that is sooo ingrained. I feel like I may be not able to remove the “blind” spots within myself. And having an outside source like a sponsor or something could be beneficial in that sense. I also do worry about stuff coming up that may be very overwhelming for me. Intense emotion is a trigger for me. I don’t know if I have a strong enough support system to delve into thay just yet. Plus I am still new to recovery once again. I am absolutely willing to look at myself. I’ve always been told that I am very self aware. But at thr same time I am an addict for a reason lol and there’s a living problem here. So idk. But i do hear what ur saying.
I beg to differ, there is no dogma around lovingly supporting another addict while they look at very difficult parts of themselves. This goes past willingness and can be extremely dangerous to a person’s recovery if they do not have the proper supports in place.
I am glad it worked for you, but I would be careful suggesting to someone else that all they need is a willingness to put aside initial beliefs. Dana has worked very hard to get to where she is and I dont think it is safe for her to face her past alone.
Checking in Day39
I did alot of things today, alot of running around, grocery shopping, other errands etc. Came home and I guess hubby was “hangry” and grumpy bcuz he hasn’t been able to eat well lately (understandable). Was a bit snappy in general. I spent the majority of money we had for groceries on his stuff so that he can eat well and not be dizzy. He works hard so I do this bcuz I care. I didnt spend much on myself for the week and thats what I chose to do. But he seemed so unappreciative. Okay… then I was making us something to eat and I was putting something in the air fryer for myself, that was plugged in near the coffee machine. I guess he heard sizzling or something and went over and got upset and told me that he’s tired of dealing with “stupidity” cuz the air fryer cord was too close to the coffee pot element or something. Anyway, he hasn’t said anything like that pretty much since we’ve been clean. He used to say some mean things but alot of that went away. I wasnt an angel either mind u. And idk… I have a hard time knowing whether I’m being over sensitive to comments like this due to my mental health or if it is really something to be bothered by. He’s been really irritable today. I feel like shit mentally bcuz it eats at me. And yes I know that no one can make me feel a certain a way, so that’s why I’m just getting this out and dealing with it. He came up to me while I was in the bedroom, and started massaging my shoulders like an hour after this was said. He rarely does stuff like that so Idk if this was his way of apologizing or what but I thanked him. Idk… some days I don’t have the energy and I do pick my battles. Thankfully I’m clean. Sometimes this kind of stuff being said to me (as miniscule as it may seem), gets into my head and I start to spiral down and then I stop myself and it just takes work to get myself out of it. So that is where I’m at I’m okay tho. Just need to relax and do some self care I think
I’m back! Checking in on day #89! I feel like it’s been way longer than that and I haven’t even thought of drinking. Starting completely over with a whole new life and changing my entire prospective on this journey, giving my all to my higher power is the ultimate way for me. So truly grateful and humble. Miss you TS!
Heyyy! Yeah I’ve just been traveling and fell in love! We are buying property and making rentals. God has always been in my life just not as welcomed I guess because of my own messed up mind. I don’t see me going back out regardless of any situation. Hope all is well with you and your family.
Good for you Taylor, happy to hear this and congratulations tomorrow on your 90 days. God Willing.
It’s always been easier for me to have the Big Guy in my corner.
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I’m okay tho. Just need to relax and do some self care I think
